


flipside | joy

by motelneptune



Category: ELRIS (Band), EXO (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: ELRIS’ Jackpot era, EXO’s kokobop era, F/F, F/M, Lesbian joy cause there’s not enough of her, Lesbians we ride at dawn ⋆. ∘₊✧⋆. ∘₊, M/M, Red Velvet’s red flavor era, Stream Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey, TW: age-gaps/drug mentions and use/some profanity/gun mention and use, Yes I orphaned it the first time what about it?, Yes I’ve thrown in references of my favorite movie lines, i use everyone’s ‘real’ name instead of stage names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motelneptune/pseuds/motelneptune
Summary: in which artistic red-haired sooyoung moves to a town in caifornia and coincidentally finds her muse next door.※ set in 1973.
Relationships: Park Sooyoung | Joy/Original Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	1. cruel world ᝰ

**June 22, 1973.**   
**Friday.**

**[3rd]**

Down the old block — across the street where the gold medallion trees aligned the sidewalk — was a rather aged house that stood out in particular. It was originally a boring color, now painted over in a pale yellow & only noticeable if you paid close enough attention to it. The white porch had enough flower pots to make it seem like a welcoming house with a welcoming family. The iron gate rusted from use over the years. Just right next to the house was an empty one, now off for sale. A venerable woman who went by the name Carmen had lived there for years before dying a few months ago due to a fatal car crash. The home currently looked pristine, & the girls outside the cerulean house couldn't help but imagine who would live there now.

17 year old Cerise stared off into the next house as she hula-hooped in her front yard. It was sultry all month but she didn't mind being in the sun that afternoon. The sizzling droplets formed on her skin from all her movements yet she continued, humming to the song being played over the portable radio. The girl’s best friend was over, sitting on the steps beside the radio where there was just enough shade for her.

“Aren’t you tired?” Hyesun finally asked, sipping her iced-down soda. She secretly rolled her eyes as she saw Cerise shake her hips with a smile.

“Nope!” Cerise replied, throwing her hands up in the air. Ignoring the feeling that was beginning to creep onto her, she continued paying no heed. She felt the fiery wind up against her green dress all the while her auburn hair danced in the wind. There was limited space in the yard yet it never stopped her, something most teenagers rarely did in this weather. Hyesun continued to watch her best friend silently, fanning her face with a piece of paper; every minute or so she’d end up wiping the sweat off herself with a sigh. Then a thought occurred to her. She cleared her throat before speaking. “Hey, what do you say we go get ice cream, Cerise?”

“Hmm,....I guess.” Cerise answered over the music, “Although, the reason why you really want to go is for something else right?” Catching a glance at her friend, she hid her frown as she hula-hooped, knowing the answer from Hyesun's silence.

The owner of the ice cream parlor on Main Street has a thing with Hyesun, giving the girl her usual fix of coke. It started out in small amounts, then increased the more they spent time together. And she was now getting addicted to it. Cerise noticed it at first by the way Hyesun began to act; from the unusual cheery-ness to the frightening bursts of anger in any given moment. But Cerise felt trapped; her best friend has hidden this from her & didn’t plant on telling anytime soon from the looks of it. “...Put the radio back in my room. I'll wait here.”

Hyesun obeyed quickly & turned off the radio in the middle of a Shangri-Las song. She dusted her mini skirt before hurrying over the steps & into the home.

Cerise hummed to herself once again, staring off into the sky. The sound of dead silence accompanied her voice, along with faraway sounds of distant music & dogs barking. The pink hula-hoop fell to the ground when she stopped swaying, turning around to face the street. The sound of a truck was nearing, becoming louder. The truck pulled up right beside the home which was already bought. The hazel-eyed Cerise scanned the place, assuming the new neighbor had arrived. And she was right.

It took a few moments to manage getting a first glimpse of the newcomer. To Cerise’s surprise it wasn’t a creepy old man, but instead a young woman. What caught the girl interestingly was her hair. It was an eye-catching, unforgettable red & shaped like ocean waves. Her dress was a bright scarlet with little black ribbons hanging loosely on each shoulder. Cerise’s eyes went upwards, following the figure of this woman as she opened the gate to her new home. On her rouge lips hung a lit cigar, & she met eyes with Cerise for a moment, startling her fast-beating heart. The girl turned away almost immediately from embarrassment, bending down to pick up the fallen hoop. After a moment she stole another glance, curious at what the mysterious lady held in her right hand. What it seemed to be was a book, looking heavily torn at the seams from use. And following behind her were men carrying boxes, that's when Cerise decided she'd snoop around later.

Hearing the wooden door creak open, she looked up to find Hyesun with a grin on her lips, skipping down the stairs. Her eyes turned over to the house & wondered if the neighbor was already here. “Is it a attractive rich man?” She asked with hope.

“No, _thankfully_.” Cerise rolled her eyes, pulling Hyesun’s arm signaling to leave. In response she groaned sadly, faking a weep. Cerise ignored her once again with a loud sigh.

The two got onto their bikes & raced to the parlor, seeing who would win this time. Switching between the middle of streets, sidewalks & intersecting each other, the two laughed hearing cars beep at them. They did not dare take their eyes off the road though. With a little motivation, Cerise pushed onto the pedal harder despite her hair hitting her face every few seconds, blocking her view.

Abruptly taking the risk, she crossed in front of Hyesun, earning a shout from the girl. “Cerise! Isn’t that cheating?!?”

“Definitely not!” Cerise yelled happily nearing the parlor. And she had won by chance, setting her bicycle to the side. She proudly crossed her arms in front of Hyesun, who pouted in return.

“Next time i’ll definitely win. You just happen to win by luck.” 

“Sure.” Cerise emphasized, heading towards the door catching her breath slightly. The two closed their eyes & took into their skin the cold air.

“Air conditioning heaven.” Hyesun mumbled. The two stayed there for a few, before opening their eyes again. “I’ll be back Cerise. Don’t leave without me!”

Cerise stood quietly in place, almost completely ignoring Hyesun’s last remark. Over the counter, the owner Chanyeol stopped what he was doing after catching his favorite girl. His eyes lit up, calling another one of his employees to take his place hurriedly. A sudden tension settled in the air amidst all the music & chatter. And it seemed like only Cerise was aware of it, making her stomach turn.

The girl watched her best friend head to the back door with the man, biting her lower lip. It had been awhile, a thought that sat in the back of her mind resurfaced; _should I say something? Is it really my...place....?_

She turned away, hearing the back door shut. Instead, she decided to try & take her mind off it just for a while. Heading over to find a seat, she noticed the place almost full. Just as she searched timidly to find a familiar face, the gripping tinge in her heart relaxed. She reached the end of the front counter, taking a quick seat on the spinning stool.

Cerise squirmed in her place, trying to make the person beside her take notice of her presence. “If only _someone_ would talk to me. If only!” The man was too busy sipping on his melted sundae with a palm on his cheek, hunched. His eyes lazily fought to stay open silently.

“What would you like, little miss?” An employee over the red counter asked Cerise.

She smiled at him, “A Hawaiian sherbet please. Hold the fudge.” The employee nodded in return & left, leaving her to lean against the counter in defeat.

It took a while to give in, realizing it would bug him the rest of the day if he didn’t. “Why don’t you leave me alone?” He finally spoke up. “It’s too fucking early.”

“Hey, you don’t have to be so rude. And it’s the afternoon, Sehun.” Cerise blurted out, “Check the time! The clock is right there!” She pointed to the wall clock, feeling her face burn up.

He groaned, closing his eyes shut. “....Don’t be so fucking loud, it hurts my—”

“Hmm? What happened? Another hangover? Off the high?” She questioned lowering her voice, piercing a stare at him. “Geez, men are _so_ disappointing....”

“Then why are you still talking to me if I’m so disappointing?” He asked, turning to face her. The man had a chance to study the way she looked; the strands of hair wildly let loose & her cheeks glowed of sweat. In spite of how enthusiastic she seemed to be, her eyes were missing something in those hazel-colored voids. Sehun wasn't sure of what, but it almost made him feel sorry for being just a little harsh.

Cerise paused, caught off guard by what he said. “W—well, Hyesun went with Chanyeol to the back, so....I’m waiting...for her.” She shrugged, “Cause that’s what friends do, y’know?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t yet confronted this ‘friend’ about her _unusual_ habits.” He mentioned, pushing aside the empty sundae glass.

“How do you know?” Cerise asked surprised, as her sherbet slid across the counter.

“I am that fuckface’s friend. He never shuts up about his girlfriends.” Sehun muttered.

Without a word, Cerise picked up a silver spoon to poke the bright cherry on top of her sherbet, trying to not let it get to her. But then, her eyes fired up immediately as she realized Sehun was just as bad as his friend. “It was Chanyeol that got her into that stuff. And it’s not like you’re any different from him.”

Scoffing, he brought his index finger to his chest. “.... _Me?_ What gives, I don’t go around luring kids to get them hooked on anything. I know what I’m doing & I do it on my fucking own.”

“Spare me.” Cerise jammed the spoon into the sherbet & looked at him, “I didn’t mean it like that.” She took his arm in her hand, exposing his skin’s paleness as well as the needle marks. She traced them slowly, track per track. It disappointed her, she always wanted to ask why he does it but never had to courage to. _What could lead you do harm yourself like this?_ “Last time I saw you, you said you’d quit. That was a stinking lie.” _Last time I saw him was yesterday._

“I guess you are right, we are disappointing.” And with that, he pulled his arm away. “Stop caring about me anyways, it’s annoying.”

“Huh?!” Embarrassment hit the girl’s face, “Who said I worry about you? _Gross_...!” She crossed her arms over the counter, “Let me eat my sherbet.”

𖠳

After loosing track of time at the parlor, Hyesun invited Cerise to her house. The two locked themselves in Hyesun’s room while blasting music over the radio & making a mess of the already disastrous room. And soon the sun had begun to set, & Cerise had to leave. Her parents didn't like her returning home at dark, although she did it in secret anyways at times.

On her bicycle she was again, heading home. The air was cooler than earlier & she took her time, calmly making her way during the settling hour. Riding her bicycle on the familiar street, she knew she was getting home. She noticed the moving truck was now no longer there, & realized the neighbor must’ve been finished. In the distance she spotted something rather dark on the ground. Once she neared it, she stopped to reach down for it only to recognize it as a journal or book of some sort. It laid in front of the new neighbor’s house, & Cerise was almost certain it belonged to her. Sitting on her bike seat, she pondered whether she should give it to her right now or later. Looking over at the home, she shrugged it off & decided tomorrow she’ll do it.

Only until she went home, Cerise took a look inside. She carefully flipped through the brown journal laying on her bed, realizing it had tons of shaded sketches; faces, bodies, & even some landscapes that seemed to be beautifully drawn, just by a pencil & the hand at the end of it.

“Cerise!! Dinner!” Her mom yelled from downstairs, startling her. She closed the journal & ran down the stairs, mentally deciding she’ll formally meet the new neighbor tomorrow, along give her the journal.

[***](https://youtu.be/epvlvDzKfv8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially orphaned this fic under a different name (the good life). After rethinking, I decided to keep working on it but with improvements. Some dialogue will be changed as well as character appearances.


	2. flipside ഒ

**[3rd]**

It was another sultry summer morning. The parched heat is what woke Cerise up just three hours before midday. She switched into her favorite white eye-let top to match it with a red skirt. After, she did her usual early routine. Once done with breakfast she called up Hyesun like any other day to plan what ridiculous things they’d do this time. However, she was unsurprisingly disappointed.

“Sorry Cerise, I can’t today.” Hyesun said over the phone, “I’m spending the day with Chanyeol. One of his friends is having a party later &....”

This is where things started to go downhill. Not only for their already shaky friendship which Cerise tried to ignore, but Hyesun’s subtly deteriorating mental state. Cerise stood quiet in her room, gripping onto the phone. She fumbled with the curled telephone wire in her fingers, thinking of something to say. She finally closed her eyes in dread, letting a small sigh escape her lips. “How could you chose a ditz over me, your _best_ friend?”

“Cerise!...Don’t say that, you know I...I care for you very much....” Hyesun whined, “We had this planned for days.....Fine, how about you tag along? I know Sehun will be—”

“ _Gross!_ As if!” And that’s how the irritated Cerise cut off the line. Immediately getting up, she paced around her room in disbelief. _Now she suggests I third wheel?! This is sick! She’s lucky I haven't gone to her parents about this weird relationship!...Ugh!_ With her face drained in embarrassment, she decided to play the radio to calm herself down. Picking up a stack of various teen magazines off her desk, she threw them onto the bed to lay on her stomach beside them. _Might as well catch up on what I missed, like any of it matters..._

Humming to the songs played on the radio while flipping through her Jackie & Seventeen magazines — one after another — is how Cerise spent the agonizing morning trying to pass time. Although the summer heat made it difficult for her, the teen made it through unharmed.

𖠳

_Twice._

Feeling the scorching hotness of the wind hit her muggy skin, she stood before the neighbor’s door. Cerise didn’t know why she waited for her mother to leave, nor why she lied to her mother about going to Hyesun’s. All she knew is the journal that now clung against her chest taunted her to go over & introduce herself; she felt strangely attracted to do so. Maybe it was her lack of friends or the loneliness she’s tried to hide beneath her skin, but now there was no heading back. Her eyes fell to her squeaky clean mary janes. _Should I just go back home? I’ll be alone & go back to listening to music....doesn’t sound too bad really..._

She snapped out of her self paranoia, hearing the door slowly creak open. Cerise was quickly hit with the air conditioning & smile of the bright-haired neighbor. Her eyes slowly traveled upwards, meeting eyes.

“Hello.” The sweet voice almost made the teen melt to her knees.

“....H—hi.” Cerise managed to sheepish smile with a shrug. Extending her arm to give the woman the journal she found, she tried to ease herself by shifting in her shoes. “I found this yesterday right outside the gate & figured it’s yours.”

“I was looking for this one, it has a few sketches I was working on...” Receiving it, she thanked Cerise, slightly trailing off about how the moving men were doing an extra lousy job yesterday.

Cerise intently listened to the lady, her unwavering bright eyes almost smiling hearing her ramble. After the woman realized she was now trailing off, she apologized. Then, there was a nail-biting silence lasting about two Mississippis.

“....I—I’m Cerise!” She blurted out in an act to save the conversation, fumbling with her fingers.

“Thanks for saving my journal, Cerise.” The mysterious lady smiled. She paused for a moment, noticing how the younger girl struggled with herself. It caused her to laugh a little. “I’m Sooyoung, Park.” Holding out her hand, she was taken by the balminess of Cerise’s as they shook hands. “You seem to be suffering in the heat, would you like to come in?”

“Why not? Everyone else seems to be busy.” She shyly replied.

Cerise’s eyes scanned all over the place, her skin soon chilling from the cold. She could feel the emptiness of the house as she stood in place, yet it looked a little messy; strangely full, even. The discolored beige living room walls were decorated with minimal paintings that reminded her of a past summer, one she couldn’t exactly recall. And all over the floor were stacks of papers, old books, & empty canvases. There was only one leather couch & a small round coffee table in front of it, pushed off to the right side.

“I just came from Brooklyn so I hope you could excuse how messy this place looks.” Sooyoung stood beside Cerise, with an awkward smile. “...Still planning on what colors to paint the walls, it's making me upset seeing these stagnant colors.”

“No worries. More importantly, how are you doing here?”

“So far so good. California is much hotter than I imagined...” Sooyoung added, “Not to mention it’s a hassle trying to get a hold of art galleries here willing to showcase my art, but it’s just one fight I’m going to have to win.” She walked Cerise over to the coffee tables exposing how much work she needed done, setting the journal aside. “I also have to find some models within these folders & that’s a painful process. I’m going to be busy for days!”

“Models?” Cerise looked up at her, who exchanged funny looks to the girl.

“How else am I supposed to be inspired! Girls evoke these unspeakable emotions, they’re beautiful creatures! That is a good enough reason, don’t you agree?”

“If you mean they’re better than boys, I totally agree.” Cerise nodded, secretly hoping it didn’t sound weird saying it out loud. She didn’t want Sooyoung to think this Californian girl is just as immature as the next. Lifting up her left hand, she pressed it softly against her cool cheek. But the least expected caught her off guard.

Wrapping her arms around the girl’s shoulders, Sooyoung mindlessly rested her jaw on Cerise’s shoulder. Giving her a little sway in her arms she managed to voice out her relief filled with enthusiasm. “I can’t believe I’ve already connected with someone! Oh, I already like you a lot Cerise.”

The neighbor’s bold move was enough to set a flare on Cerise’s face; one that spread furiously from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. Furrowing her brows to conceive her odd satisfaction of it all, Cerise mumbled a thanks.

“Hm?” Tilting her head slightly downwards, Sooyoung’s nose tip hit the girl’s skin. Inhaling an unfamiliar fragrance to her, she quickly repeated the action only to find it was different than the first time. “What scent is this?”

“...It’s a mixture of Mandora, Bergamot & Lilac.” Cerise eyes darted all over the place as a means to compose her unsteady body at the foreign touch. “M—my best friend bought it for me as a birthday gift & I’ve worn it since.”

“A powdery combination of sweetness isn’t it?” Sooyoung lifted up her face to meet Cerise’s. She tried meeting eyes with the girl, but failed. “...I heard inspiration comes from unlikely places.”

“H—huh?”

Letting go of the teen, the older stood afar from her, faced-front. Pushing her red hair out of her face, she then began to ask a few questions of interest. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.” Cerise replied hastily, now being the one to eye the girl.

“Boyfriend? Girlfriend?” Sooyoung crossed her arms, waiting for an answer. She didn’t seem serious, just pensive about how she would answer.

“N—none!”

“Okay, good.” She finally nodded, dropping her arms. Sooyoung stood there for a good moment, deciphering in her mind about something. “...I know this is going to sound very sudden, bu—”

“Sooyoung!! Sooyoung! Hello??!” A feminine voice shouted behind the front door. Another voice also accompanied, asking more hello’s over the door.

“....Excuse me.” Sooyoung smiled, walking over to the door. She already knew who was behind that door, & secretly didn’t want to open it. Still, she turned the cold knob & revealed two women with rouge smiles painted across theirs faces.

“So you are home!” The taller brunette exclaimed as she hugged Sooyoung instantly.

“I didn’t think you guys would come today.” It was obvious Sooyoung wasn’t very glad at her friends unexpected & interrupting visit. “This place still isn't presentable yet...”

“Why don’t you sound happy??” Seulgi pouted, looking over at her friend beside her.

“I would like to know as well.” The black-haired women said sternly, until her gleaming eyes traveled from Sooyoung’s to Cerise — who stood silently from afar, seeing it all unravel. “Or is it because you were about to get busy with your new girlfriend?”

“Huh?! Girlfriend?” Seulgi tried peeking over Sooyoung’s shoulder only catching a glimpse of said girl.

“It’s not like that at all! She’s the first friend I have made here, please don’t make any assumptions.” Sooyoung turned slightly & with a grin she gestured the girl over to meet her friends. “I think she’s great.”

Trying to show herself as presentable, Cerise took soft steps. _Just be calm, be calm. Now’s your chance to make new friends!...._ Standing beside Sooyoung, Cerise grinned at the two before her. “H—hello.” She observed the distant-looking girl first; Cerise took notice of her icy glare towards her & how she seemed like a composed person. However, the other beside her appeared to be more friendlier — according to Cerise — because she didn’t wear such a solemn face.

“This is Cerise,” Sooyoung spoke up, “Cerise, these are my long-time friends, Seulgi & Joohyun.”

“You’re _so_ cute! Joohyun, look at the cute little ribbons in her hair! Her outfit is even cute, just like her!” Seulgi smiled widely at the girl in between her aww’s, “Sooyoung must be lucky to have made a friend like you. Be sure to take care of her, please!”

“Leave her alone Seulgi, you’re creeping her out.” Joohyun scowled at her friend beside her. “We’re here for something else.” Crossing her arms, she stared at Sooyoung. “Mind giving us what we came for?”

“Yeah, I almost forgot.” Perking up, the red-haired woman dashed to the massive mess of folders & archives on top of the coffee table. The three of them stared at her as she flipped through folders & muttered words under her breath. “Found it!”

  
“Thanks.” Joohyun flipped through some pages of the thick folder, scanning each page with her eyes swiftly. “Alright, I guess we will get going. We’ll visit during a convenient time.”

Seulgi waved to the two, “See ya later!” Irene quietly bid a goodbye, & the two turned away.

“That pair...!” Sooyoung laughed. She closed the door, placing a hand on her hips. “They’re unique those two, believe it or not....Now, what I was I about to say....” 

As the older wore a puzzled face while tapping her heel, she long thought about what she meant to say before being cut off. Searching through her mind she tried her best to remember. Unknowingly, her eyes met with the girl’s mary janes that had little colored flowers sewn onto them. It made her smile a little, & she trailed upwards meeting those willful eyes of Cerise. Then Sooyoung finally remembered in a flash. _Ah! I was going to ask her if she’d like to be my model! She’s the complete opposite of other models I’ve had—wait....uh...._ The more she thought about it, the more Sooyoung spiraled into a series of thoughts that made her regret even thinking of it. _She’s very young to be a model & I’ve just met her. I don't want her to think I’m some kind of creep or something...oh never mind..._

“I wanted to ask you....” Sooyoung trailed off seeing her enthusiastic eyes wait for an answer, & she almost caught herself. “I wanted to ask you how long did it take you to adjust here? I mean, assuming you haven’t lived here your whole life.”

“Ah, I see....” The light in Cerise’s eyes ceased quickly. “Well, I moved to this town 8 years ago so I didn’t really have a problem other than making friends.” She weakly smiled afterwards, “I think you will be fine here though.”

In response, Sooyoung headed over to hug the young Cerise once again as a sign of thanking her for reassurance. In truth, she was nervous about living in a new place especially since she hadn’t previously been familiar with it. It was an act of impulse; she ended up blaming her artistic side instead of taking responsibility for her decision. Coincidentally her friends pursued a career in California too & managed to follow after her. And she knew she’ll always be eternally grateful for that.

“I think I’ve already taken too much of your time, so I’ll leave you to whatever it is you were doing.” Cerise broke the silence with a fabricated cheery tone.

“No, you don’t have to leave.” Sooyoung lifted up her face, just inches from Cerise’s, revealing a frown. “I was actually bored until you came, don’t leave me now!”

A pink tinge spread over Cerise’s face all over again at the abrupt woman's behavior; she found it difficult to be composed once again, slightly baffled. And so, the two spent half of the day sorting through folders on the coffee table — in which they’d take breaks eating soft ice-cream from Sooyoung's new fridge — ultimately conversing in funny talk.

[***](https://youtu.be/j5ND1vE-5z8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can click on the 3 asterisks at the end of every chapter for a surprise :v


	3. ground ഒ

**[3rd]**

The bookstore was located on the corner of the tranquil Main Street. Aside from being one of the oldest standing constructions, it’s still is one of the town’s popular attractions. On this particular day, there was chalk drawings the local children drew to pass time on the steps for passersby to catch a glimpse of & perhaps smile.

During the late afternoon Cerise headed there. Having made a new friend earlier that day —fiery Sooyoung in her early 20s — she was now dead set on becoming the embodiment of a muse to model for her. She was also sure that Sooyoung was going to ask her to be a possible candidate earlier, yet uncertain why she changed her mind last minute. Cerise had thought maybe it was her age, or maybe even worse — the way she acted or looked. Hopefully that was going to change.

Just as Cerise was going to walk up the stairs, she halted once her eyes met the faded chalk sketches of castles & swordsmen risking their lives for the helpless princesses. It made her lips spread into a grin, reminding her of doing the same when she was younger in her old hometown. She almost felt horrible having to step onto them, but knew inside they’d fade away soon.

With agility Cerise moved quickly on the stepping stones, to the welcoming mat & opened the mahogany-colored door. She didn’t care much to look around, she instead headedright where the teen magazines sat. The section was located near the large glass window, giving her a pleasant view of the street. There were numerous rows of ‘Teen, Tiger Beat, Dolly, Jackie, & Flip all aligned in neat rows. The first one Cerise’s eyes caught was a ‘Teen magazine in bold letters: **How I became model of the year...And you can too!**

The girl stood there for a few minutes flipping through page after page reading what she could, in hopes she’d remember these said tips next time she meets Sooyoung. Cerise then dropped the magazine, moving onto the next....& the next, _&_ the next. It was only a matter of time until Cerise had four which seemed promising in her arms. _I might not be able to come back tomorrow, so I’ll take these just in case._

She turned away to pass by the aisles labeled on book genres. She’d catch a glimpse of women, elders, even children talking to their mothers about the book they had, & it made her secretly pleased. Not many people found the time in their day to read, but Cerise was glad to be proven otherwise. Passing by the second to last aisle — where people donated books, she stopped in her tracks upon seeing a familiar figure standing there.

Gripping onto her magazines, she blinked several times thinking her eyes finally played tricks on her. But they weren’t. Cerise focused on the way he held the book in his hands, completely immersed with a relaxed expression. Today he wore his favorite loose ocean-colored blouse with sleeves rolled up below his elbows, & faded blue jeans.

She stayed tight-lipped to prevent herself from laughing at the sight. The teen took a breath before going down the aisle, only to stop beside this familiar figure. Sehun looked away from the book he was reading & met eyes with Cerise, who wore a sneaky smile on her face. “The hell you doing here?” He asked calmly.

“I could ask you the same thing.” In disbelief, she continued. “Shouldn’t you be sticking a needle in your arm or something?”

“Let me guess, baby Cerise got bored of dressing up to play house?” Sehun rebutted, closing the grey book shut. He emphasized his last words hoping she would get the hint. “It’s getting past your curfew anyway. Your _mommy_ might send a search party.”

Cerise rolled her eyes, loosening her grip on the magazines. “Whatever.”

Looking down at the glossy front magazine covers Cerise held in her hands made his interest pique. “...What are you here for, in all seriousness.” Sehun asked as he raised a hand in the air. He turned to her having a sudden feeling this’d be good in a funny kind of way.

Letting out an awkward cough she then paused for a moment. Casually straightening her back to stand taller than usual, Cerise closed her eyes. “You see, I want to become a model—”

“A model?!” His face grew more puzzled, “ _You?”_

“W—well, yes. But it’s not the way you think.” Cerise opened her eyes, trying to save her words. But the odds were against her, feeling the heat rise up to the tips of her ears. She found her throat caught yet continued with grace. “...I want to model for someone. To be their inspiration, follow?”

“Not really.” Trying his best to hold his laughter in, Sehun knitted his brows. “Tell me more.”

“Ah! Never mind, never mind.....It’s all a mess in my head right now.” She shook her head, ruing. Backtracking in her mind, she asked herself if it was worth even telling him. _No one would understand me._

“Your head _is_ small....” He sighed.

“Am I supposed to be offended by that?” Cerise asked, tapping her foot to the wooden floor.

“Not at all.” Sehun answered with a sly grin, “Just a compliment.”

Cerise ultimately let it go, finding it would eat her away later for being so senseless. She decided to switch the conversation & embarrass him — whatever the reason may be. “And you?”

“Man you know, the usual,” Sehun opened the book, flipping to a random page. “Just learning the precautions of making a meth lab.”

“Stop joking.” Cerise said sternly, “You said in all seriousness, remember?”

“Alright, you caught me.” He said in a surrendering tone, closing the book. “I was heading over to the Playboy section.” 

Eyeing the silver cross that hung on his chest, Cerise quietly complained. “Gross...That’s not...very Christian of you....” She irritatingly mumbled to herself as she looked down at her mary jane shoes. _I should be doing something productive, like getting more tips.....or something...._

He noticed how the girl was slowly turning frustrated, although Sehun didn't think she’d react such. After realizing it wasn’t fun either, he caved in. “Fine. It’s just an old medical book someone trashed. I was killing time before I find comfort in debauchery."

“De—who?” She lifted a brow.

“A party, is what I meant.” Sehun clarified, looking at the girl.

“Party?” Cerise's ears perked up. Her eyes lit up, curious if this party was the one Hyesun was going to as well. She leaned against the wooden shelf, thinking about doing some snooping of her own. “Prey tell about this party.”

“Don’t even think about it, Cerise.” Sehun shoved the book back into place on the shelf, “It’s definitely not a place for a kid like you.”

“I don’t want to go dummy, I want to know who’s...hosting this party.” She responded, almost shocked he would even think she’d go to a place where all the socialites go to slowly kill themselves.

“A friend.”

“Does this friend know Chanyeol?” Cerise asked, staring at him.

“Chanyeol never misses one of Baekhyun’s parties, he’s always fucking there. Makes sense since he’s our main plug.” He stared back, “...You’re so interested because of his girlfriend, yeah?”

“My _best_ friend,” she corrected, “And maybe.” Cerise followed beside him. She had more to say but remembered somethings are better left unsaid. The two walked past the long shelves of books until they reached the front of the store. “Um....” Cerise stopped in her tracks, feeling the sides of her skirt. She realized she left her money in another skirt when she was getting dressed. “I don’t have any money...” She groaned, hoping someone would help her buy them. Cerise called out to Sehun, tone slightly kinder.

The older turned around, “What?”

Cerise smiled sweetly at him, giving puppy eyes in front of everyone else who managed to see. “If only _someone_ would buy these magazines for me.”

Feeling some confusing eyes on both of them, Sehun neared the girl. He was secretly taken aback she’d pull a stunt like that, especially for some silly magazines. “Look,” He leaned to her slightly, furrowing his brows. In almost a perceptible whisper, he continued, “I don’t have any money either right now....Just my damn pocket money for emergencies.”

“But this is an emergency.” Cerise leaned in as well, her voice getting lower. _Pocket money, yeah right. It’s definitely drug money._ She wore a hurt expression covered in a frown as she pressed, “I’ll pay you back, promise. But if you don’t buy these for me I _will_ cry & cause the biggest scene in history.”

“They’re fucking stupid magazines Cerise.” He pressed.

“Heroin is stupid too. Stupider than a pair of magazines, you know.” Cerise counter-attacked quietly, “And I don’t see you pushing it aside. In fact, you suck it _all_ up like how you suck up the life of the friends you think you have—”

“Put them down _now_.” Sehun demanded, his face draining red in anger. “And don’t make me say it again.”

Cerise taunted lightly, “Come on, make me.”

Realizing he was going in circles with the girl Sehun ultimately sighed, shutting his eyes in defeat. Snatching the books from her arms, he muttered under his breath, “You fucking owe me.”

“Definitely!” Cerise chirped, still standing in place. She waited there patiently, watching his back. By then the stares had already diminished & the teen happily thought about how she pushed the limit; he had no choice other than to comply. Cerise even felt proud of herself. _I should do that more often actually._

Setting the magazines on the cashier counter, Sehun reached for his wallet in his back pocket. He didn’t even look at the cashier to know what kind of strange looks he was getting from him. “How much?” He asked, landing eyes on one of the smiling teenage girls on the pink cover of Dolly. He internally groaned knowing this would effect his already bad reputation in the small town; _news travels fast._ As the cashier was busy putting the magazines in a bag, Sehun dug in his shirt pocket for a cigarette. Without asking, he took a black pen laying on the counter & carefully began to write on the cigarette. He threw the pen back onto the counter, & took the bag in his hand once he was done. When he started heading towards the door, Sehun slipped the cigarette into the bag discreetly, hoping Cerise didn’t notice.

Cerise hurriedly followed beside him, taking the bag from his hand. “Thank you.” She cooed, showing one of her signature toothy grin in hopes it would lighten the atmosphere. Sehun only narrowed his eyes at her, irritated at how candid she was acting.

“If I ever get caught, you’ve just added more years to my prison term. I would be considered a child predator, of _all_ things. I wouldn’t survive the first day there thanks to you.” He stressed, scanning the street from the welcoming mat. “Do you know what they do to people like me inside? They’d cut my balls & flush them down the fucking toilet.”

“Calm down, okay?” Cerise laughed at the weary voice of his. “You have a crazy imagination. People already know we hang out together, just like the _good_ friends we are.” Patting his shoulder, she realized how fun it is to see him act so nervous. _I really need to do this more often._ Turning on her feet, she ran to onto the stepping stones. “Well I’m off! Thanks for the magazines.”

“Where the fuck are you going?” Sehun crossed his arms secretly annoyed she’d leave after a simple thank you.

“Home.” Cerise faced him as she raised the bag, “And the magazines are telling me to go home too.”

“I’ll take you then.”

Cerise scoffed, uncertain of what she heard. It was unusual for him to openly do such a goodwill gesture, especially after what she had did. As seen prior, you had to fight it out of him. “Where’s this sudden kindness coming from?”

Sehun caught up with her, glancing down at the cement stones as his feet landed on one. He had remembered yesterday the milk carton he threw away had more missing people than before & coincidentally, all of them happened to be teen girls. “...If you go missing, people saw me with _you_ last. I’d be the first suspect going by that.”

She gave him a long stare as it if was no shocker. _Without a doubt, it’d be to save yourself._ In the end Cerise agreed, finding it was getting late & didn’t think walking home to be a fun idea.

She followed Sehun to his car, taking notice of how rundown at first glance it looked, like always. It was an old Chevrolet with it’s paint fading at every edge. Cerise was almost sure it was originally an intimidating jet black, now faded into a dull grey. Sehun noticed how the girl stood there, eyeing the car from left to right. “What’s the matter? She never bites.”

Crossing her arms against her chest, Cerise firmly stood in place. “You need to take care of this car.” Is all she said before pulling the silver handle. Amused by her interest, Sehun asked why she seemed to care about it more than he did.

Setting herself on the hot leather, she dropped the bag beside her feet to close the door. “My dad loved cars. I know he would’ve told you the same thing.”

Sehun’s smile disappeared, realizing he didn’t want to dive into sensitive waters at the moment. He knew what to poke her with, but her deceased father wasn’t in the list. “I'll keep that in mind.”

Without surprise, the two bickered most of the ride; from the car, drugs to trivial things not worth mentioning. In the middle of Sehun arguing with her, Cerise began to laugh, unruly — realizing how stupid it all was. She looked out the window to let the hot wind hit her face while Sehun's voice was still in the background.

“This is not funny!” He said, trying to keep his eyes on the road. “I could go on half of the day about this shit.” She continued to ignore him, closing her eyes as she took the sound of the streets.

It wasn’t long until Sehun pulled up to the front of the girl’s house. Cerise was too busy landing eyes at the neighbor, who tried to revive the dead grass on her lawn to notice though. “What are you looking at?” Sehun peeked over her shoulder, to first notice the strange red hair of a woman.

“Shh!” Cerise whispered, shifting in her seat. Her bright eyes were just above the lowered window, covertly wishing Sooyoung wouldn’t take notice.

“She’s got ugly hair.” Sehun murmured over Cerise’s shoulder, “...Bet you five dollars she’s a whore.”

Cerise turned her head slightly, whispering a word or two of offense to him. “Very bold of _you_ to say when you have _disgusting_ orange hair.” She continued looking at Sooyoung, who still held the hose. “And don’t call her a whore when you fit the description more yourself...” 

“Fuck off, I like my hair....!”

Sooyoung heard where the voice came from & alarmingly looked at a car — not far from her house — to meet eyes with a flustered Cerise, her shoulder revealing a man closely behind her. Before having a chance to react the teen retreated, leaning back in the seat closing her eyes tightly. She could feel her heart beating against her chest, drumming louder by the second. The embarrassing heat from her face spread to her chest rapidly. “.....God help me so, I’ll _kill_ you.” She muttered under her breath, bringing her balled hands to her chest.

Sehun disregarded what her last remark, instead wondering about that woman. He only knew for sure she had a certain degree of influence on Cerise. “Who’s that anyways?”

Cerise opened her eyes slowly, pouting. “She’s the new neighbor, moved in yesterday.” She softly spoke, “The artist looking for a study.”

“That’s who you were talking about...” He also leaned back on the leather seat & turned his head to look at Cerise again. “Did she really ask you?”

“No.” Cerise mumbled, slouching steadily in her seat, “But I know she was going to judging by the look on her face...I just know it.”

“Is there a reason why you want to be her model so badly?” Sehun asked, searching for a Parliament & lighter in his shirt pocket. He waited to hear a response from the girl as he set the white filter in between his lips.

For Cerise it was something she hadn’t thought about at all, making it one of the few instances where she was baffled by her own self. She tried searching in her mind for it without any luck. “....I don’t know.” She eyed the way he lit up the Parliament in his mouth, throwing the lighter inside his pocket once again.

“Man, sometimes you are weird.”

Cringing at the cigarette smoke hitting her face, Cerise grabbed the white bag beside her ankles. “As much as I want to stay & hear your dumb nonsense, I don’t want to develop some disease.” Pushing the door open, she stepped out of the car. After shutting the door, she leaned against it. “....You don’t have to, but I’d really appreciate it if you could tell me what happens between Hyesun & Chanyeol at the party. Maybe they do something of value there, who knows.”

“I can’t make any promises.” Sehun responded, “Most of the time I don’t remember shit.”

Pretending to be shocked, Cerise raised her hands over her mouth. “No way,” she gasped, “I am absolutely heartbroken. I would’ve expected more from a junkie like you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Run along,” He smiled at her sarcasm, “Go play with your toy dolls.”

“I’m leaving now, bye.” Pushing herself off the car, she stuck out her tongue one last time at Sehun.

Turning around, she awkwardly tried to make it seem like she was dusting off her skirt. Once she heard the car drive off, Cerise took a glance at Sooyoung for a second, seeing the woman look back. It made the teen remember when Sooyoung was close to her & it gave her the jitters — the good kind. Deep in the crevice of her heart, she again felt that painfully pleasant tinge. It was bittersweet, making Cerise weak in the knees to even recall it. She didn’t exactly what she was feeling, but liked it.

Cerise decided to smile at Sooyoung in hopes she would get past the embarrassing spying moment. And in return Sooyoung’s red lips smiled back warmly as she turned off the green hose.

The girl opened the iron gate to her home, & headed to the right side of the yard. “Hi.” Cerise greeted, shifting in her shoes unconsciously.

“I thought you said you had no boyfriend?” Was the first thing Sooyoung said, biting her lip. “Or was that a lie?”

Cerise’s face turned florid at the words she said. “H—huh?!” Her eyes dilated as she tried to explain herself. “..You mean Sehun? He isn’t my boyfriend at all! That’s gross to even think about, gross!!”

Sooyoung crossed her arms over her chest, “Then are you two only friends?”

“N—no! Not even friends, not at all. We don’t even get along, honest. We’re always fighting when it’s the two of us.” Cerise shook her head, gripping into the handle of the bag. The two stared at each other in nail-biting silence. It made Cerise nervous by the second, unknowing what to do.

Suddenly, Sooyoung broke out laughing, leaning over. She raised her hand to her stomach, trying to control her laughter but failed. Cerise stood there heart beating against her chest loudly again, confused. “I’m just playing with you, Cerise! You’re so cute, I couldn’t resist!” Cleaning her tears from the laughter, Sooyoung regained her breath before apologizing to the girl for teasing her.

“You scared me....” Cerise nervously smiled, “I don’t want you to think of me as a liar.”

“I wouldn’t think that.” The woman replied, ‘There’s just something about you. It makes me wanna tease you a lot.”

Cerise stared at Sooyoung, whose face seemed a little colorful than before. The girl wondered why would she think so, especially since they haven't even known each other for a day.

“By the way I wanted to ask you if you could help me tomorrow as well.” Sooyoung said in that calm voice of hers. “I still need a whole bunch of sorting. I understand if you can’t—”

Cerise agreed almost immediately, nodding with a smile, “Totally!”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow Cerise, no later than midday.” Sooyoung said, with a smile gracing her face. In that instant, she remembered something, face dropping tediously. “I’ve got to go, Seulgi is dragging me to a party later & I have to get ready.”

“Party?!” Cerise shouted in surprise. “A—are you going to Baekhyun’s party?!?”

Sooyoung raised a brow. She’s never heard of this Baekhyun. “I’m not sure, Seulgi kept on rambling & I didn’t hear half of what she said after the word party.”

“I see....that’s alright.” Cerise replied as she shifted in her shoes, “Well I’ve got to get going too or I’ll miss dinner.” Although the two exchanged sincere goodbyes, Cerise couldn’t help but wonder about the party. At the dinner table she poked her fork onto the dinner plate, playing with her leftover food as she thought about it.

[***](https://youtu.be/F4a8DYIQONU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun-fact: Sehun originally was supposed to be Cerise’s love interest (the artist that moves next door). But I ended up choosing Joy because I love her so much & there isn’t enough gxg of her!


	4. softly ഒ

**[C]**

I haven’t felt truly peaceful in a while.

In fact, I can’t really remember when was the last time; had it been a few weeks or months? There was always something to stress about, like myself or the future. From inside Sooyoung’s home I could hear soft songs of tree finches & slight breeze coming from outside. Today didn’t seem any less scorching than yesterday but thankfully she protected me from it, again. I laid criss-crossed on the floor, hands on the coffee table which appeared neater. I stared at Sooyoung’s lips as she began to talk about what she wore to the party last night with a smile. She sat across from me, on the small couch wearing a loose black dress that reached her knees. Her face showed tiredness under the makeup & her red hair was neatly tied in a bun. Fixing, arranging, even separating files was a call of serious business in the beginning, but then we stopped for a while to converse.

What I felt was this warm feeling in my chest, I couldn’t help but smile. Unconsciously tapping the pen I held against the table, I became engrossed in the sounds of the outside world. Earlier Sooyoung had mentioned despite having the ac on, she liked the windows slightly open. I told her it defeats the purpose of cold air, but she responded nonchalantly that it all heightens her creativity & inspiration.

I only began to give her my full attention when she divulged being formally introduced to Sehun. My reaction was near utter bewilderment: eyes dilating, jaw dropping & all. Questions raised in my mind such as for starters, _why?_ Judging by the way he spoke about her hair alone yesterday, he wouldn’t want to be near eye distance of Sooyoung; the misanthropist did whatever he could to avoid anyone outside of his tight friend circle, even me despite knowing him for years. In essence, the man was full of endless snarky offenses & only the fiends like him would find it delightful.

“About two or three girls were practically on his back when I sat down to wait for Seulgi, who went to get drinks. They had him locked, none of them wanted to let go of the guy.” A grin spread Sooyoung’s lips as she tried to suppress her laughter recalling last night. “As he was trying to break free from them he saw me. Walked over & introduced himself as if nothing happened. Although it was disappointing seeing his pain end quickly, I would’ve enjoyed watching it drag on for minutes. Funnier than what’s on TV if you ask me.”

A vivid image of Sehun trying to escape a group of girls at a party was implanted in my mind, resulting in laughter. I almost wish I could’ve been there to see this sight. “You seem to enjoy his suffering a little too much.”

“Definitely, who would run away from girls?!” Sooyoung asked, showing genuine dissatisfaction. She furrowed her brows, continuing. “It’s like finding a hundred dollar bill laying on the ground but not picking it up.”

I gazed at her eyes, entertained by the answer. She had such a vocal liking for the female existence, but I suppose that’s the mind of an artist. Dainty, feminine etiquette, it’s all a profound enigma that even I — as one myself — never quite understood. Maybe Sooyoung would help me comprehend it with her art. “And what did you two talk about?”

Her face brightened up by my question, with a tinge of pink gracing her cheeks. She half-smiled, laying back in her seat. She lifted one leg on another to adjust herself & I knew this would be either interesting or _extra_ interesting. “Nothing other than our Cerise of course.”

“W—what?!” Worry washed over my body like crashing waves. The more my brain processed it, the more anxious I got.

“Aside from introductions, we talked about you.” I could see amusement fill her up at my embarrassment, & I looked away sheepishly hearing her speak. “Very assertive & protective as I expected. He wanted to know when we met & how, things like that.”

 _Weird._ Lifting up a brow, I was almost certain she wasn’t saying it right. This doesn’t sound anything like him at all. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same person? Orange hair, pale, cranky, really annoying?”

“Yeah I’m sure it was him.” Sooyoung laughed, “I thought it was strange how he wanted to know these things. He got angry when I didn’t tell him everything though.”

“Did he say anything mean about me?” I narrowed my eyes in doubt. Sehun always found a way to belittle me however he could, & I know he said something I would get upset over. Just thinking about it made me irritated. _If he did, I’ll kill him!_ Shifting in my seat, I bit the tip of the pen cap in between my lips as I waited.

Sooyoung’s red lips spread once again, tapping her blood-red nails onto her cheek, increasing anticipation within the room. “...He told me a story about how you held a cake for a birthday party but tripped in front of everyone &—”

“Oh that’s it! I’m gonna kill him!” Flames arose inside of me abruptly, slamming the pen down onto the coffee table. I felt the unbearable heat of humiliation all over my face, & I was going to make him pay for this.

“Cerise please don’t worry.” Hearing the ease in Sooyoung’s voice, I looked up at her to see her never-vanishing smile. “I thought it was really cute.” There it was again. Being so charming & speaking in that cheeky tone. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t make somersaults every time she gave me that look, it almost frightened me. We stood for a moment in nail-biting silence, unsure of what to say.

She spoke up first with subtle eagerness. “I’m now invested, how do you two keep such a fruitful relationship?” She asked showing genuine interest. “How long have you two known each other? It must be a while, since you two look so close.”

 _Fruitful? Close?_ I’m not sure we could call it that, especially since — whatever it was — grew upon derisive talk & insults. Of course it was a nuisance to keep bickering over the years but I got used to it. “...We’ve known each other for eight years. His parents were the first ones to welcome us, y’know since we were newcomers. Sehun was nice to me although I was quiet, a little upset since I didn’t know how to cope with this big change. It was difficult making friends at school & he didn’t have much luck with friends either.” I paused, “Sehun told me it was because he looked different. They’d call him names & stuff at school. I didn’t understand what he meant by that at first — y’know about looking different. I was just a child...And he was a good person.” Remembering those days with downcast eyes I continued, fumbling with a file cover under my fingers. “That was six years before he became a user.”

“Wow...” Sooyoung whispered, before asking a question of interest. “But, why still be around a person like that?”

“It's easier said than done, don’t you think?” I brushed her words off. “...I witnessed him get high once. I didn’t see him for weeks after that....He apologized when he first saw me again & I was livid. Although, nobody apologizes over that, it doesn't ever cross their minds.” Palming my cheek at the reminder, I could feel the tears threaten to spill. With a stifle sigh, I fought them back realizing I had spoken a little too much.

My hand immediately reached for the glass of water on the coffee table, feeling my mouth dry. With eyes avoiding Sooyoung, I felt nervous about the silence. If I was aiming to be one of her models, I had lost the chance right here. So many questions ran through my mind as I scolded myself; _why did I throw such a personal thing in the open?_

I was taken by surprise when I saw Sooyoung’s figure stand up, taking slow steps towards me. Before I had a chance to react she kneeled before me, gently crashing her body into mine. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest like it did yesterday when I saw her, growing dangerously loud each second. Sooyoung’s cheek was planted on my head as she tightly wrapped her arms around my quivering shoulders. Shutting my eyes tight, I knew it was too late. I recognized the faint smell of cigarettes intermingled with alchohol on Sooyoung as tears brimmed my lash-lines, like a frantic child. Not only was I was loosing someone important to me but the wound of loosing my father had never been awry, resurfacing now as well. That time period was something I never would’ve wanted to talk about yet here I was. I gave in to Sooyoung so easily; it was an obscure effect she had on me.

She broke away from me after a moment, serene like the summer breeze. I opened my eyes, feeling her lift up my chin to face her. She weakly smiled, wiping away my hot tears with her fingers carefully. I was hesitant at first, afraid to look into her eyes; afraid she wouldn’t be here. But I did the right decision hoping otherwise. I took a deep breath looking into her obsidian eyes. “....It must’ve taken strength to say that, angel. I’m here with you now.” With that soothing voice of hers she gave a gummy smile. I could sense the sincerity of her words.

𖠳

We spent the next hour or so talking since she wanted to know more about me after sharing such a personal moment together. I knew I could trust her, oddly enough. In the kitchen we talked. I told her about funny stories from years ago about me, my small family & among other things; from to mentioning the passing of my father, winning the high school dance contest with Hyesun, to Sehun’s prized Pink Floyd vinyl collection he wouldn’t ever let me touch. Her eyes were bright like the blue sky every time I reached the climax of the story, making me pleased. I was shocked when she told me her father had passed away too, years ago. Sooyoung revealed he had a drinking problem & spent his last breath that way. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes when she mentioned it to me, I’ll never forget. She still feels turmoil from time to time thinking about him, but confessed it’s never good to dwell on it. I agreed with her, having been in those same shoes.

“I could listen to stories about your life all day, it’s all so frightfully interesting.” Sooyoung leaned forward with elbows on the table, “I like you a lot more than before with the things we share. And I don’t like most people.”

“...Really?” I smiled shyly, playing with the white table cloth in my hands slightly, “That means a lot to me.”

We exchanged stares, but I couldn’t last long with a flushed face. Her lips puckered together for a moment as she furrowed her brows at me almost in thought. I stayed silent, trying to think of what to say.

All of a sudden she stood up from her seat, fixing her dress. I observed her as she untied her bun in a calm manner. I saw the way her dyed hair cascaded down her shoulders, reminding me of a princess I once read as a child. She noticed my staring, & gave me smile. “Come here. I need you to stand in place.”

We both stood in the middle of the room, quietly. I sensed being so small under her gaze. With downcast eyes, I found this being eerily similar to yesterday.

“Do you spend most of your time outside or inside?” Sooyoung asked.

“Me? Um, I’d say outside.” I replied chastely, “Gives me time to think about anything & everything. Brings a sense of tranquility.”

“Is this your natural hair color?” I nodded, blushing when I felt Sooyoung’s hand extend to touch one of my pigtails. She caressed the ribbon in my hair with a gentle smile. “It’s very russet, I like it.” Feeling it in her fingers, she played with it quickly. Letting go, Sooyoung saw it dangle just above my shoulder. I felt my throat get caught, wanting to know what was going through her mind about me. Maybe she was thinking I’m some quiet, angsty teen that’s only good for separating files, the bonus having likable hair. “Cerise you have such a petite, cute body!” In her heels Sooyoung began to slowly walk to my left side, “How do you manage?”

“Must be family genes....” It would be a lie if I said I didn’t feel like a suspect & Sooyoung the interrogator. Asking me strange questions, circling around me, this strange aura in the air, it all made me feel anxious.

I could feel her eyes all over my back as I stood timidly in place. “And this dress fits your body so nicely, I didn’t get a good look at it until now.”

“...T—thanks.” I internally felt ecstatic at the compliment. The reason why I bought it a few weeks ago was because of the overall fun design; a blue-white patterned gingham dress that reached my mid-thighs. But what caught my attention at first glance were the big pearly plastic buttons dotting down in the middle. I felt pretty when I tried it on, like it was made specially for me.

“Good choice, it hugs your body in all the right places.” Sooyoung caught me off guard with her foreign touch on my exposed upper back. She melted me inside out with her cold fingers, starting from the tip of my curled toes inside my mary janes, up my knees spreading to the tips of my ears. She trailed her fingers painfully slow even onto the thick material of my dress. Instantaneously, I clasped my thighs letting out a sharp hitch with every motion downwards she did, trying to push off this fervid feeling. Whatever she was doing was creating a knot in my stomach, dripping down to my skittish thighs. “Almost makes me want to get a canvas & paint you, but then you’d have to undress for me.”

“...U—undress?” My mind took a second to process her words, resulting in a heart-stopping shifting in place. The pulsing heat was now all over my face with eyes dilating blankly.

I heard her heartfelt laugh burst from behind me as she pulled her hand away. “I’m joking!” Walking to face me with a florid face, her plump cherry-colored lips spread into a grin. I flinched once she lifted her hands to pinch my heated cheeks, “You’re so cute when you blush! I had to see your reaction, I’m sorry!”

_A joke?....A joke?!_

I found it funny the way the conditioned air hit my whole being like relief. The way this day was going was enough to drive me insane; an emotional roller coaster, one I didn't want to live at all.

“Cerise, may I ask you something?” I looked up at Sooyoung, noticing she wore a serious look on her face. I nodded sheepishly, embarrassed.

“Please don’t find this strange, but...” Sooyoung gave an anxious look, “I was hoping you’d be my study. Almost like a model for my art.”

My heart stopped, hearing her words. _Was this a dream?_ This was all I have been thinking about since yesterday, it clouded my mind.

“I spent my time trying to find someone without realizing the one I want is you.” Her eyes darted from left to right nervously, avoiding my eyes. She crossed her arms, & I saw the nervous tinge on her cheeks. _Was she blushing?_ It was the first time I saw her do so, & my mind tried to photograph it. “After knowing more about you, it emitted something promising. This is a breakthrough for my work, I could already feel it. And I know this is abrupt, but...will you be my study?"

“Y—yes! Of course!”

Sooyoung smile widely & hugged me. Her voice sounded warm a tight embrace, making me grin myself. “I’m so excited!! There’s a contract but it’s not to worry about Cerise, I give it to all my models! Later today we’ll settle the rest.”

Sooyoung wanted to celebrate this new chapter in our lives, & the only thing that came to my mind was the parlor. I told her I spend a lot of time in there during summer because of the sweets & obvious air conditioning. She agreed, so we went in her small Mercury there. During the drive, I got lost in thought thinking about Hyesun. I haven’t talked to her since yesterday morning over the phone. I recalled that agonizing call & wanted to diminish, sinking in my seat. I turned to look at Sooyoung, who wore a smile on her face as she tapped her long nails on the wheel.

𖠳

It was kind of sad how empty the parlor was, considering it was a summer afternoon; Chanyeol wasn’t here & he must’ve been off with Hyesun, only two workers were present. Not like it was needed more than that, since a few people here & there scattered. Sooyoung’s eyes dilated as she saw how neat the little restaurant looked like inside. Very patriotic in red, white, & blues as the American flag decorated each corner. We took a seat on the front counter & without much to my surprise, I saw two awfully familiar people.

“This is a small town.” I mumbled, already feeling a pair of eyes on me. Taking a breath, I leaned against the marble counter. “You know I think it would be better if we get a seat by the window. Wouldn’t it be nice to get the outside view?”

“I like it here,” Sooyoung protested, snaking her arm around my shoulders, “Where everyone can see us.”

“...I—If you say so...” I easily gave in without thinking twice, florid-faced.

“Hi! What would you two ladies like?” The bubbly voice of the male employee asked, breaking my train of thought. I looked up at him, instantly recalling the employee that usually gave me free sherbets on the house. I wore a smile, thinking how silly he was for being so kind, & I knew why. He remembered me too & smiled back. “Hey, it’s you! You want the usual Sherbet?”

“Yes please, vanilla.” I answered with a nod, “But hold the sprinkles.”

“And you, ma’am?” He turned over to Sooyoung behind the counter with a pen & notepad raised in his hand. The man’s smile vanished once he noticed her glare. Sooyoung’s sharpened eyes never left his, rising a tension in the air.

“...I’ll have the whatever Cerise recommends.” She said coolly, looking over at me as her arm still wrapped around my shoulder.

“U—um, I’d say the butterscotch sundae with fudge & whip cream are the best here.” I replied as matter-of-factually. From the corner of my eye I could see her smile in satisfactory.

“I’ll have exactly what Cerise said.” Writing it all down, the employee smiled once again at us two before leaving. It was silent for a moment with 60s music playing in the background until Sooyoung leaned against my shoulder. “Men are such an eyesore.” She whispered into my ear lowly. It was a light laugh I let out, hoping I wouldn't make heads turn. Biting my lower lip, I tried my best to hold in any more laughs. “I need to go to the ladies room but don’t die without me, Cerise.” She said casually, getting up from her seat. With a quick pat on my shoulder, she headed to the restroom.

Letting out a small sigh, I palmed my cheek. I wandered my eyes across from where I was, with nothing to advert my attention to; only red seats & a worker cleaning the empty tables one by one. My eyes came to halt when I met with those hard ones from yesterday. I furrowed my brows once I realized he still wore the same shirt from yesterday. Sehun stopped stirring the straw in his milkshake & flashed a grin. _Gross._ In return I lifted my fingers shaped as a gun towards him. As I playfully squinted one eye, I mouthed a _pow_ signaling my pretend shot. I looked beside him, noticing his friend advert his eyes down, a chocolate bar in one hand. His skin was golden, the complete opposite of Sehun’s sickly pale complexion. It’s something that made the two stand out from afar. Jongin was his name, I remember as I’ve met him a few times before. Sehun spoke about him too, since the they are best friends.

Sehun stood up, ripping off a piece of chocolate his friend held. I dropped my hand, realizing what I had done. _Great, now he’s going to bug me & it’s my fault. _Shifting in my seat, I picked up the small menu in my hands, making it seem like I was busy. I slowly moved in the turn-able stool with my feet, sighing as I scanned the outdated list. He took a seat next to me, greeting me with the smell of brown liquor. “Want some?” Sehun extended his hand holding a piece of chocolate.

“No thanks,” I said out loud, setting down the menu under my hands. “Trying to make my skin breakout?”

“Man why would I do that?” Sehun replied before dropping the piece of chocolate in his mouth. He continued, chewing with his mouth open. “Tell me Cherry, is it worth being pretty?”

“You’re awfully chatty today.” Ignoring his remark, I tilted my head. I observed his face for a moment, not recognizing him all too well. He seemed more alert of his surroundings with attentive eyes & body darted straight. It was different from his usual self. “What are you on now?”

He gave a quick sigh as he shoved his hand into his shirt’s pocket. Amidst all the cigarettes & trash, he finally took something out with his fingers. It was a silver-colored gum wrapper holding in Speed. “Don’t worry, the intravenous injection of hard drugs is still my favorite.” I stared blankly at the neatly folded wrapper; it was tiny, didn’t raise any speculation of being anything but. It made the earlier conversation with Sooyoung replay in my head, like a super 8 movie.

Propping his arms on the counter after putting the Speed plain out of sight, he cleared his throat. Sehun took a breath, speaking up. “If you don’t ask, I won’t tell.”

“Tell me then,” I sighed, “What happened?”

“I’ll save you time. They snorted white lines off each other’s bodies & fucked all night. Very meaningful.”

I cringed once my mind starting creating an ugly image of the Hyesun & Chanyeol doing things. “Gross....” I muttered, shaking my head. And I suddenly remembered what Sooyoung told me about Sehun at the party. Since he was on cloud 9 at the moment, I thought I’d ask. “You know, a little bird told me you’re very popular with the ladies at parties. Is that true?”

“You could say that.” Sehun shrugged, nonchalantly replying. He palmed his cheek, turning to look at me, “Why? You jealous?”

“In your dreams.” I huffed, almost laughing at the idea. “Whatever, instead let’s focus on my triumph today please.”

“Huh?” Sehun furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Sooyoung asked me to be her study earlier.” I proudly smiled, crossing my arms. “I think it was my charm & the dress. I knew it’d win her over.”

“I think so too.” Sehun mentioned, lowering his gaze, “Might as well have been naked. That would’ve guaranteed you the spot.”

“The lack of morality never ceases to amaze me.” I muttered, “Very gross.”

“What’s gross is this thing,” Sehun pulls up my brassiere strap that hung on my arm, “You don’t even need it, there’s _nothing_ to support.”

I pushed his hand away from my shoulder as I turned away, “You should go _back_ to your friend Jongin now.”

“Shit. I’m going, I’m going. Gotta do my next deal anyways.” He stood up quickly on his old chucks. “Meet me at the corner store when you’re free from that fucking lesbian. I do get lonely without you, Cherry.” Feeling my face redden from the embarrassment, I turned around to only find him already heading over to Jongin. Holding my breath, I balled one of my fists on the table.

[***](https://youtu.be/SQdgdWayPhQ)


	5. hazelnut coffee ഒ

**[3rd]**

For Cerise it had been a rather uneventful week, she lazily tried to pass time with best efforts. The teenager spent the last days reading magazines, doing chores, filling the empty spaces where she & Hyesun used to talk; nervously pacing around her bedroom with fumbling hands. As she called it, Cerise was only mentally preparing herself for her first ever job, being a study for the neighbor. It was the day when she finally had something in her grasp, something she could control yet was dangerously anxious of it. She told her mother the day she got the part-time with contract & all. Receiving an earnest hug her mother, she praised her although she hoped her daughter would get a dose reality. Figuring the girl was still young, she might as well have a little fun before her youth ends. Ultimately, Cerise’s mother put it past her.

The two stood in the middle of the studio, which was upstairs of Sooyoung’s home. The first thing Cerise felt was comforted by the smell of hazelnut coffee lingering in the air. Everything was organized neatly, with empty canvases on leaning on the sides & boxes shut on corners, among others. There was a small stool where Cerise stood, & the girl glanced at it quickly.

Sooyoung walked over to the brown easel which held a new canvas. “Please sit down while I get ready. It’ll only take a minute.”

The girl eyed Sooyoung for a moment, watching her get a palette with dry paint from a drawer. The woman scavenged through her cup of medium brushes with thought. Cerise snapped out of her daze, & took a look at herself. She usually wore miniskirts & dresses because she enjoyed swaying in them, but to Sooyoung’s request the girl wore a white blouse & regular jeans. Cerise almost felt weird wearing them because it wasn’t her normal fashion choice, but it was a job matter & so, she set her difference aside.

After getting ready Sooyoung set her materials on the easel only to look ahead at Cerise who wore a clueless face. It reminded Sooyoung of a lost puppy, & her red lips broke into a smile. She walked over to Cerise as she spoke up once again. “Let me just fix one thing....” Adjusting the collar of the blouse, Sooyoung then lowered her hands without saying a word. On Cerise’s chest, she unfastened the two buttons to expose some of the girl’s skin. “Today is practice, which is why I wanted you to wear this. I’m going to see how well I work with you.” It was the roseate face of the girl that made Sooyoung bite her lip down. “There’s no need to look nervous, nothing will happen that’ll make you feel uncomfortable. You see, the relationship between the artist & study needs to be on the same page. Don’t you agree?”

In response the girl nodded, curiosity laying in her eyes.

They finally began, & it went rather smoothly as Cerise hoped. She imagined what her today would be like, envisioning Sooyoung’s smile & paint all over her clothes like an artist you’d see in the movies. The two didn’t speak a word for the first few minutes as Cerise froze in place; the teen tried her best not to look strained as she turned her head slightly to the left & held up a hand in a the air like Sooyoung ordered. It was such a simple pose yet she was nervous, overthinking it.

With that soothing voice of hers, the woman spoke up. “You’re doing great, as I thought Cerise.” She encouraged, dipping her small brush on the palette with eyes glued onto the canvas. She didn’t need to look up in that moment to know how Cerise was — she could feel it from across the room — & wanted to give her reassurance. “Take a few breaths & don’t think much of it. Trust yourself, like I trust you.”

And so it had been like that for the next hour or so.

Cerise still stood in place as Sooyoung had instructed before. Her legs were parted slightly as she wore a solemn face. Her mind was all over the place, wondering if the artist was liking how she did the pose. Her eyes were planted on the plain walls, remembering about the modeling tips from Seventeen. _Stay calm, be natural......That’s all you gotta do.._

Meanwhile, Sooyoung tried to control her content, brushing fine lines on the canvas. “You have dainty features you know that?”

Cerise could feel her heart clench inside her chest & wondered secretly, _is that good? Or not?_

“It’s beneficial in a way for me.” Sooyoung added, “You make me figure things out like a test. Something I never really had to deal with before. My past studies usually had mature, serious-looking faces. Even when I tried getting through to them, they were very strict on the job. Even more than me!” She looked up for a quick glance. Then she lowered her voice, continuing. “...But,...I’m soon done.”

Cerise tried her best to keep the same facial expressions, although she wanted to dance around the room. She was excited about how Sooyoung felt, & was going to take the time later to thank her for giving her such an opportunity as this. It mattered tons to the girl — in a world of disappointments & running around to pass time — had found something that maybe made her feel comfort.

𖠳

Cerise still stood, now feeling her muscles slightly ache from being in the same position too long. She hasn’t spoken for two hours, but Sooyoung had made her feel safe & break the ice throughout. Cerise wondered when was it going to be over; she was nervous how the final product would turn out.

“Done.” Sooyoung said amidst the silence, “It’s finished....For the most part. I think we’re done for today.” A small laugh escaped from her mouth after seeing Cerise still in the same position. “....You can shake off the stiff feeling now.”

Cerise sighed, “Finally.” She dropped her arm relived it’s over. She stretched her body with closed hands in the air, groaning. After, she pressed on her arm, massaging it from the ache. She looked over at Sooyoung, who fixated on the art before her. Cerise wanted to see how it turned out so she went beside Sooyoung.

She dropped her jaw, fascinated once her eyes had met the freshly painted canvas.

“You like it?” Sooyoung asked her, who was speechless for a moment. She turned over at the girl & saw her mouth form an ‘o’ as the color to her cheeks reappeared.

The young girl took careful notice of the intricate details Sooyoung had put in the realistic piece; the artwork portrayed Cerise’s dollish eyes as kaleidoscopes, tiny celestial stars in each one could easily get lost in while her auburn hair was messily flowing to her shoulders. The lips were coral-colored, teasing the onlooker & question if Cerise in the painting was content or not. Her face complemented a pink tinge that was delicately pressed on her cheeks, making one question even more. There was a hint of desolation in the eyes, but was portrayed with bright colors. Everything in the background was without much detail — even colorless — & that is what caught Cerise in more interest.

“I—I like it...!” Cerise replied, “I really do!”

“Yeah? It’s just a rough draft sorta, I’ll add more color & details later on.” The satisfied artist leaned a little towards Cerise after hearing her approval. “I also didn’t add the pose you did. It was just a test to see if you could handle it.”

“H—huh?” Cerise looked up at Sooyoung, puzzled. _She really made me do that for nothing!? Well, the painting came out great...._

“Don’t worry, you proved me right.” She cheered, with a gummy smile. “I find it easier working with one study long periods of time, & you officially got yourself the spot.” Pulling Cerise close to her side, she rested her cheek on the girl’s head. “Once galleries give me a chance to prove myself like I did back in New York, this will be the first piece I put up. It’s a promise.”

Sooyoung nuzzled onto her, humming words she couldn’t exactly make out.

The two stayed like that for a fleeting moment, before Sooyoung shot herself up. “Ah! There’s something I want to show you, angel! Might as well since you’re here.” Holding the girl’s hand in hers, Sooyoung led the her to a messy table. She ran her index finger through the spines of books & worn out journals in hopes to find the one she wanted. The woman’s eyes brightened as she told Cerise to quickly take a seat. Sitting close to the girl, she flipped through the journal. Cerise caught glimpses of unfinished sketches, flashing back to the journal she had first found; they were various body poses among faces, faintly laid messily on the two pages. “These that I did...” Sooyoung stopped at a page with tiny eraser shavings falling, & pointed at a few old sketches with her index finger, “I think you would look even better doing these poses sometime next week! They remind me of you so much, & you could wear whatever you’d like.”

“Okay, whenever you set the date.” Cerise nodded, returning a endearing smile to the woman. She tried to not sound too excited hearing her last words. “Could I take a closer look at them?” Sooyoung handed the journal to the timid Cerise with encouragement, watching her. She was impressed by the work, & knew Sooyoung had a specific vision of what she wanted to do. And she liked that. Cerise softly spoke out, “Your work is very admirable & I’ve only seen a small portion of it.” Looking up to her side, she asked Sooyoung a question that had been on her mind for a while. “When did you know art was your passion?”

Sooyoung answered it without falter, although slightly caught off guard. “Hmm....You could argue since I was seven years old but I really began to take it seriously when I was a teenager, around fourteen. My mom disapproved it, she felt I should be focused on a worthy goal like being a lawyer or doctor. I went against her wishes though, & bought my own art supplies from doing small jobs around the block.” Reminiscing, it brought the woman nostalgia. “I know babysitting, walking dogs, & watering lawns aren’t the most ideal jobs out there but it was worth it.” She continued, “At some point I left my parents to live in a small apartment, eating dinner leftovers for days. Sometimes I wouldn’t eat at all with how things were going for me. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, things took a turn for the best. And...well, years later I’m 23, here in sunny California with you!”

Cerise froze at the proud smile Sooyoung gave, knowing it would be ingrained in her heart. She was happy to know things had turned out well for Sooyoung despite her unsupportive parents & personal struggles. “It goes to show the only one that could stop you from achieving your aspirations is yourself.”

“That’s just it Cerise!” Sooyoung leaned closer to the girl, playfully wrapping an arm around her shoulder to pull her close. Her face was just inches away from Cerise’s, a pleasing smile never leaving her face. “I think you’re a little angel I stumbled upon for a reason.” Her voice lowered, slightly serious. “...You sure there isn’t a ring around your neck?”

“.....I—I wouldn’t really....m—mind it...” Cerise mumbled, feeling her cheeks hotter by the second. “...I—If...”

“If what?” Sooyoung froze by her sudden response. She was surprised Cerise would answer boldly, considering how shy she usually is. But the woman followed after a short pause, “If _I_ put a ring around yours?”

Sooyoung took a good look at Cerise’s florid face & quivering pink lips before leaning her face on her shoulder. The artist stayed silent, feeling the beating of her own heart. “...Don’t think about it too much, or else I’ll _really_ want you all to myself."

[***](https://youtu.be/YIiTqIYXeSk)


	6. a marvelous persona ഒ

**[C]**

This particular day had been going slower than others. I looked forward everyday to spend time with Sooyoung & had grown to like her more than I thought I would, & had left Hyesun in the shadows for a while. It’s nearly pathetic how it happened — silent & slow — but in my defense she didn’t put any effort when I tried. The center of her world had been her older boyfriend. It was often difficult to reach her, yet out of spite she would turn the tables each time during my persuasion to end it with him.

On sunny Wednesday a miracle had pulled through: the phone ringed loudly in my room. But something was different about her over the phone. Hyesun was usually chirpy with that warm tone of voice, excitement oozing out of the speakers end. I leaned in my bed playing with the phone cord in two fingers, unable to react at her somber voice. She was relentlessly running my ear & I bit my bottom lip, thinking how much color her voice had lost. I tried to lie to myself & say maybe it was because we hadn’t talked in a while, but I couldn’t.

“It was just...Ugh! _Fuck!_ He pissed me off! Could you believe he did that?....— Cerise?...Cerise?” Hyesun’s voice ringed through the phone calling my name, & I slightly jumped in my seat.

“..Yeah?” I asked, inattentive to the conversation.

“You’re not listening to me, are you?” She scolded over the line, & I could already see Hyesun rolling her eyes.

“Sorry.” I sheepishly said, lowering a hand on my criss-crossed legs. “I’ve had a lot of things on my mind lately.” I didn’t even need to listen to her to know she was going off about Chanyeol. Their relationship was rocky from the start, very unhealthy & I’m sure he’s cheated on her with countless of people. Yet as she would like to fire back at me, ‘It’s not your place to butt in. He loves me! He truly does!’ So I sit back with a shut mouth, silently judging the pair.

“Really? Cerise had fun _without_ me?” Hyesun derided, “Like what?”

“I think it would be better if I tell you in person.” I replied, “I have something important to tell you, & as best friends it should only be done so.”

There was pause over the line for a moment, & I was afraid she’d shrug it off like before. A part of me didn’t want to hear her say ‘maybe some other time’, but surprisingly Hyesun agreed. _Maybe there still is hope for our friendship._

A smile appeared on my face & vanished just as quick when she spoke about meeting up at the ice cream parlor. I gripped onto the phone, “Aw come on! We always go there.”

“Fine, how about the park then?” She suggested. I agreed, figuring it would be better than going to the same parlor. Yeah, free ice-cream was fun, but today I wanted to go someplace different. The parlor had steadily become a place where Hyesun goes to meet her boyfriend. Not to mention the place was usually packed during the summer, making it was pretty hard to get seats.

Hyesun agreed to meet up at the park, bidding a haste goodbye before cutting off the line.

I quickly took out the pink rollers in my hair & dressed into an olive-green dress. I sat on the corner of the bed, slipping on my mary janes in hopes I would get to the park first. There was always this unspoken game we had about things like this, it was all for pure enjoyment. The loser of course would get a teasing, but that’s all; while the winner felt proud about.... _winning._

After checking in the mirror to decide if I looked presentable, I raced downstairs to find my mom sitting down in the living room. She was reading the latest edition of Ladies’ Home Journal with those tired eyes, flipping through thin pages carefully. “Mom! I’m going with Hyesun to the park.”

“Okay honey, just stay out of trouble.” She smiled, looking up at me. I smiled back & yelled a goodbye before running out the door.

It was a hassle running in freshly-clean mary janes especially during the summer heat when the sun harshly drops down, but it didn’t really matter to me. I liked feeling the wind hit my face, the hem of my dress lift to my thighs, & most of all feeling alive when I ran through the empty streets. Catching sounds of the town in it’s own little worlds with their Radio Indianas & playing children, it made me realize this was the golden state in all of it’s repute. And I never wanted it to change.

When I reached the park, I leaned forward with hands on my knees as I took deep breaths. There were people scattered everywhere; all over the playground & sitting on the grass. I straightened my back, as I pushed my hair away from my face. Scanning the area, I tried to find Hyesun but she wasn't here yet. I did have an advantage, she lived a little farther — only a few blocks from me. After deciding I had gotten here first, I hurriedly walked to a tree near the playground with running children. I pulled the hem of my dress down as I sat down on the grass. I leaned on the tree, closing my eyes to feel the wind hit me.

Despite the loud yelling of the children playing freeze tag & murmurs of adults in their gossips, I let myself sit in the moment.

𖠳

Hyesun’s eyes gleamed when I told her about my new job. She even lifted a brow in bewilderment once I told her I was the study for the next door neighbor.

“Cerise, I can’t believe you got a job.” She turned to me with a smile on her face, “And as a model! You have the face & body for it.” Nudging my shoulder, I grinned back. I’m glad she was happy for me, it was something that I’ve been meaning to tell her but couldn’t find the right moment. Over the phone was never an option since she was the closest friend I’ve ever had & I wanted it to be meaningful.

“It’s been really great so far.” I said, playing with my hands on my lap. Looking over at Hyesun, I saw her jaded face masked with a smile. From afar without looking much into it, she seemed the same; maybe tired due to the lack of sleep but I knew better. She wore her usual cute outfit & witty smile yet something was off. I couldn’t put my finger on it. “...Sooyoung helped me feel comfortable with the whole thing. She’s really talented & sweet you know."

“Sooyoung......Really?” Hyesun narrowed her eyes with a smirk on her lips. “What exactly do you mean by _talented & sweet_?” I turned over to see Hyesun’s wiggling brows, smile growing wider.

With my elbow I pushed her aside after feeling the heat creep onto my face. “...Shut up! Don't think about it like _that_.” 

“Why? It would all make sense.” Hyesun teased, “You’ve never even liked a guy now that I realize....”

I let out a laugh, “The male population here are a bunch of extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers. Why would I settle for that?”

“So you’re proving my point.” Patting my shoulder, she paused before continuing. “I always knew something was wrong with you. You’ve always turned down guys at school...I guess the boys I _could_ understand, but what about Sehun? You spend more time with him than anybody & you two haven’t fucked? Bullshit! My head hurts thinking about it, if I were you—...Don’t tell Chanyeol this but if I _had_ the chance..."

I furrowed my brows at the unbelievable ignorance as I tried to figure out where did we go wrong. I watched her mouth moved as she spoke, making no sense of her words. I couldn’t hear her voice anymore, or maybe I chose not to. “...You completely ignored what I said.” I broke in, adverting my gaze with a sour taste in my mouth. “You have some nerve bringing dumb boys into everything—”

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” Her amused voice did not falter at my obvious agitation. Instead she went on, “You’re seventeen & _still_ a virgin. The national average is sixteen, Cerise!”

I scoffed, “You think that matters to _me_ right now?” Feeling an odd desire hold in my laughter, I shrugged. “That’s such a stupid thing to say...”

“What’s stupid here is me talking to a damn lesbian!” Hyesun fumed, getting up almost immediately. Turning around, she furrowed her brows. “Don’t think of us hanging out ever again if you’re secretly a dyke or something.” Staring down at me with eyes full of hatred, she immensely spat, “Because that’s _fucking_ disgusting.”

“Wait, hold on.” I breathed out, “I was only joking, I didn’t mean t—” My heart stopped as I saw Hyesun’s back face me. She slowly craned her face my direction, quiet.

“Yeah?” She muttered, “Well fuck you.”

There weren’t things left to say, only the feeling of complete disconnection with the person walking away. We used to like poking at each other, we always did it but this time was undeniably different. It didn’t feel like before, & it wasn’t fun. Hyesun was acting strange, having some sort of field day crushing the best friendship we used to have. It took me a moment to believe what I heard, blankly staring at her figure leave.

I grimaced, digging my hands into my legs. “...Fuck you too.” I finally mumbled silently, hoping my embarrassed face would cool off. My heart was feeling heavy today.

𖠳

I dusted my dress, standing up from the grass. I let out a small laugh as I checked my watch, realizing one hour had gone by quicker than lighting. Although, it didn’t take much to drown myself in my own thoughts & feel lonesome; blaming myself for things I had no control over.

I sighed as I began to walk home with an overwhelming feeling of hurt over my shoulders. I tried to push it aside, lifting my head up as I walked away from the noisy playground. I took small steps to cover my mind in other things — stuff I saw on my way home. And I soon found myself talking with that little voice in my head.

I crossed the streets distracted with myself, until I reached my block. The first thing I saw was Sooyoung, & that was enough to make me stop in my tracks.

The butterflies awoke in my stomach from their slumber, rattling as if trying to find a way out. My lips quivered at the sight of her wearing a black formal suit, attire I least expected her wearing. In my mind I couldn’t help but think of how affluent she looked, a ponytail holding her hair up beautifully. I watched her sling a brown bag over her shoulder, calmly as can be.

She turned around, eyes smiling at my unexpected stare. A grin formed on her red lips, spreading as she waved at me. “Cerise!! Come here!”

I widened my eyes as I was greeted by a tight, blush-inducing hug. Sooyoung pressed her cheek onto my head like before, mumbling words of endearment with arms wrapped around me. My heart beat was quicker, thumping against my chest. She didn’t want to let go, enveloping my body in a warm feeling. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling vulnerable all over again. “Aah, seeing your face makes me so happy, especially after a morning like this!”

It was hard to respond, feeling my pounding heart stuck in my throat.

Breaking away from me slowly she leaned towards my face, worry in her eyes. Sooyoung furrowed her eyebrows, & asked softly, “Hm? Why is my angel looking so sad?”

I felt my face heat up, adverting my gaze. “....It’s n—nothing, really....”

“I know a lie when I hear it.” Sooyoung tilted my face in her hand carefully, observing my sudden red complexion. "...Maybe I know something that’ll cheer you up." She took a step back, leaning onto her little Mercury.

I gave her a confused look as she fixed her dark blazer, suggesting I take a guess. I could only come up with random absurdities resulting in her laughter.

“Good ones,” she smiled, “But not close enough!” She took a breath before putting her hands on my shoulders & took a good look at my eyes. I shifted in my shoes nervously, catching the passion burning in her eyes. “Earlier today I had a meeting with an art gala team across town. After seeing some of my work & persistency, they agreed to let me showcase my paintings!”

“T—that’s amazing!” I bursted.

“Isn’t it?” Sooyoung gleamed, “Oh! I’m so excited, angel! Where do I even begin!” I let out a small laugh, watching her unable to contain her happiness. The way her eyes shimmered in the sun, you could almost see the multitude of stars they contained. It was an amazing sight, being able to feel the intensity of her vibrations; I secretly wished I could emit the same.

She spun me around, facing the yard of her house. Putting an arm around me, she continued, taking slow steps. I felt a gentle push, getting closer to her side. “You & I will have to work harder than anything. Won’t we?”

[***](https://youtu.be/OYxRqW7y-h0)


	7. you go to my head ഒ

**[C]**

“How is it?” Sooyoung proudly asked, handing the mirror to me. I had my eyes closed shut as she ordered, a little anxious to see how I turned out. I didn’t usually get my hair & makeup done, especially by Sooyoung. “Open your eyes!” She encouraged, her hands on both of my shoulders.

And I did so, my worry vanishing in the moment. Sooyoung had turned my plain face into an eye-stopper with the power of makeup. My eyes gazed at my lips first, colored by a coral you couldn’t miss. My mascara-covered lashes curled while my eyelids were shimmering a rosy pink, secretly making me blush under the real blush on my cheeks. I smiled smiled at myself in the mirror, tilting & turning my head to get a good look at myself making sure this wasn’t a dream.

Sooyoung parted her lips as she stood behind me, “I think it compliments the inverted flip & little curl at the tips of your hair.” Leaning, she let her face sit on my left shoulder, looking at me in the mirror. “What do you think, Cerise? You like it?”

“I—I looks amazing! Really.” I nodded, nervous I’d fall to pieces if I met eyes with hers. “How’d you get so good with makeup?”

“When I was younger it became a habit to steal my mom’s makeup & play with it.” She tried to hold in her laughter at the memory, “It’s the only way I began to learn, although I was horrible at it. Didn’t stop me though."

“I’m glad.” I gave a shy smile at her through the mirror, to which I widened my eyes as I felt arms wrap around my shoulders. My heart tried jumping up my throat, skittishly cursing internally.

She let out as she tightened her grip on me, “You’re going to make me tear up!! Stop being so cute Cerise!”

I mumbled words of trying to keep my composure at the warm touch of her arms. I put the mirror down on the table, trying to keep the feeling of her with me.

Sooyoung went to my side after a moment, & extended her hands to help me stand up.

Today she wanted to do something special, in order for the upcoming art gala. One of the many short projects we are doing at her request, in reality. Not only did she want to impress those who will be there, but herself as well. ‘I like a challenge’ her words resonated in my mind. Instead being the typical study in the studio upstairs, she said today we’ll visit a place that looks like it came out of a dream. That’s the reason why I got prettied up, dressed in a bright yellow shift dress & fixed hair. I turned my face up, eyeing her cheeks flushed again like before.

“Shall we go, my angel?” Sooyoung winked, catching my stare. “I can’t wait to see how this piece will turn out.” She pushed her red wavy hair back with her hands, revealing small silver hoops. She wore blue flare jeans along with a white shirred-tie top for the summer heat. What complimented this artist’s overall look were her leather-brown clogs, looking very loved. I unconsciously found myself dazed off by how Sooyoung effortlessly pulled off anything, realizing no words could’ve done her enough justice.

She drove us in her little Mercury, with the windows all the way down. I let the hot wind hit me as I stuck out my face, feeling embarrassed at the thought that this first trip was just the two of us, alone. I wondered what place was Sooyoung taking us, unknowing of how far it was away from home. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, too shy to turn my head completely. She played the radio, & soon the air between us was filled with blues tunes sung by a jazz singer. I closed my eyes, going back to the same position to enjoy the sound of the music intermingled with the roads & rustling of trees we passed by.

“Do you listen to Billie Holiday?”

I opened my eyes upon hearing Sooyoung’s voice, & turned to her. Her eyes never left the road, concentrated. She moved her lips to the lyrics of the song, tapping red nails onto the driver’s wheel. “When she’s on the radio, definitely. Got this voice that shares her hurt, how to not notice it.”

“You’re right.” Sooyoung replied, with a half-smile. “Pity she had to go so soon.”

If I remembered clearly, she passed away in the late fifties because she couldn’t battle drug withdrawals & heart problems. My mind suddenly drifted to Sehun, thinking he would end up like that too if he didn’t stop infecting himself. I could imagine what he was doing right now in this moment; hunched over the parlor counter with sleeves rolled up from his favorite shirt, scratching & picking at his skin.... _Ugh, I’m getting sick by thinking about it!_ “Sooyoung, let’s talk about happier things!” I whined, leaning against the car seat trying to get that image out of my mind.

“Okay,” she lowered the music in the radio slightly, worried over my reaction. She thought about what to say for a moment, before speaking up. “How about we talk about us then?”

 _“Us?”_ I asked, unsure of what she meant.

“Do you have someone you like?” Sooyoung quickly gave me a teasing glance before puckering her lips. I watched her furrow her brows, suddenly acting demure. It wasn’t much like her, but I knew she probably had planned it to go this way. She’s too smart to be embarrassed or anything similar. “Well, do you?”

“....M—maybe...” I mumbled a response, playing with my hands on my lap. “And you?”

Sooyoung let out a small scoff, before grinning. “I’d have to say maybe as well, Cerise.” 

She was an expertise at keeping people on edge, I had this gut feeling of it. She kept you curious, pulled in long enough until you’re unable to turn back.

𖠳

We both stood before the white opened gates, staring at the lush shades of green around a huge old mansion quietly. I still didn’t know what this place was, but I didn’t want to sound clueless & ask. Sooyoung was smiling ahead with one hand on her arm to secure her leather satchel bag. Being who-knows-how-many miles from home, all I knew was that the air was much cooler in this place, & the sun was being gentler on our skin.

“Still haven’t figured it out yet?” Sooyoung turned to me. In response I shook my head, cracking a sheepish smile. She let out a heartfelt laugh before taking my hand in her’s. “It’s a private botanical garden! Looks gorgeous, doesn’t it?”

“A botanical garden?!” It felt strange, I haven’t been some place new in a while. “I’ve never been to one before.”

“There’s always a first time for everything, Cerise.” She came closer to my side resulting in the not-so distant feelings of nervousness climb up my legs. “My friend owns this place. I called her up & she said we could come here, even stay all day if we’d like!”

Before I could say anything in response, she began to walk with our hands intwined & I followed. We walked up the white steps until reaching the large wooden mahogany doors. Sooyoung pushed the little intercom beside the door, answered by a calm voice. I soon found out it was the person who owned the place, a close friend of Sooyoung’s since her adolescent years. We were welcomed by the woman herself, & she looked like foreign royalty up-close; drenched in fresh pearls around her neck & stunning a cream Gunne Sax dress.

Turns out her name was Lee Soonkyu. This place was given to her by her father after he couldn’t keep up with overseas affairs while trying to keep this place in shape. The inside looked exactly how I imagined; the walls were eloquently Edwardian style, & everything from within seemed like real antique. Even the posh couch we sat on, making me uneasy. I didn’t want to touch anything, afraid it’d break. There was few staff guarding every corner of the place reminding me of how secret service would be be. Soonkyu had to excuse them from the living room to hold a conversation with us. _This must’ve been a real important place, if it must be under surveillance at all times...._

I eyed the two, who shared laughs & cheers as they drank white champagne. They were holding a conversation about things I didn’t know about, like reminiscing their pasts I wasn’t in. I felt out of place, _I don’t belong here._ I looked down at my lap to see the nearly full glass of orange juice. I huffed, looking up to see Sooyoung happily smile at Soonkyu. I bit my bottom lip, secretly wanting to know what she was thinking about in this moment. I had this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, realizing I had felt a little more than jealous. And I found myself wondering what exactly was their relationship before.

“...And then I met my angel Cerise!” Sooyoung swung her arm around mine, scooting closer to me. “She’s by far one of my models that has brung out my heart instantly! She’s the cutest!" Taking a large sip from her glass, she chugged the remaining champagne before setting it on the wooden coffee table. “That’s when I damn realized the rest is rust & stardust.”

“You have changed from the last time I’ve seen you,” Soonkyu commented, turning her eyes over & giving me a smile, “I did think to myself ‘this girl beside her must’ve had something to do with it.’”

I faintly returned the gesture, watching the woman fix her pixie haircut calmly.

After a little while, the woman led us towards the exit of the huge mansion. While passing by, I looked up to see the large set of stairs silently in awe. Soonkyu suggested we come again another time to look around more inside the place. Sooyoung agreed, giving me sneaky grin as she raised a folded map. I weakly smiled back, feeling guilt stir inside myself. _I never get jealous about much, so why did I back there?_

Opening the back doors of the mansion, my jaw dropped as soon as I saw the vast green area with concrete trail tracks around. There was a enormous willow tree planted in the middle of it all with white benches in each of it's sides. “Knock yourselves out.” Soonkyu gleamed, “You could get lost easily but as long as you follow the map, it shouldn’t be too difficult. There’s staff walking all over the place so if you get lost, feel free to ask them for help.”

“Thanks!” Sooyoung waved at her friend, before turning around. She took my hand once again in her’s, sauntering on the steps.

I didn’t speak as I observed how many little people there were. _It seems too beautiful to be kept exclusively._

“Cerise.” I looked up at Sooyoung, snapping out of my thoughts. She tightened her grip on my hand with a reassuring smile. “I like _you_ the best.”

𖠳

I stood in the rose garden for almost an hour doing a specific pose Sooyoung showed me before in her sketchbook. She gave me little encouraging compliments like she always did when she saw me having a bit of trouble with myself. She sat down on the grass before me, leaning against a tree with her open satchel beside her. Sooyoung’s art supplies was scattered all over the place as she continuously gave her focus on the small canvas in her hands. Her thighs were her easel & she didn’t seem bothered by the fact that her clothes would get dirty.

I kept on the same pose for another few minutes until she was done. I’ll admit it was embarrassing to pose in such a strange way in especially in front of strangers passing by.

We stood next to each other as I shifted anxiously in my shoes. I stared at the beautiful creation in her hands, terribly wanting to know what was her secret. How could she paint a divine me when I didn’t look anything near that in real life? I was convinced this woman was from another world. I was sure of it, no doubt.

“What do you think of it?” Sooyoung asked.

I watched the way her eyes lit up like a street sign, waiting for my approval. I tilted my head after thinking about it. “...Your amazing skills, they’ve painted me as some mysterious alluring creature — which I am not. Almost makes me want to take a second look at myself because I’m _far_ from that.”

“Why the hell do you think of yourself like that?” Sooyoung frowned, “It seems you’ve forgotten something." She set the painted canvas down, & gave me a keen look. My smile disappeared as I took several steps back in my black mary janes. I let a nervous laugh escape my mouth, remembering the last time she gave me those eyes that were a darker shade from before. I clumsily bumped my back onto the old tree, flinching. Lifting both of her hands to press them onto the tree, she kept me entrapped from every side. My eyes glanced up, afraid I made Sooyoung upset. “...Although I usually paint what I see, I know there’s more to you & it’s better than I could ever put on canvas.” Her eyes softened, pained at hearing my words. Bringing her hand over my cheek, she sighed heavily. “I wish you could see the way I see you, Cerise.” I shut my eyes, a familiar shiver creeping up my spine.

Her face neared mine, & I could feel her lips brushing up against the corners of my open mouth. “....P...people...can s—see us...” I breathed out, too embarrassed to say anything more. I felt my body turned frail at her touch.

She hummed over my skin, “Kinda wanna make their heads turn a little more.” There was sharp silence & a small laugh, quickly fading as she planted a peck on the corner of my lips. My eyes fluttered open, to find Sooyoung picking up her supplies on the grass. I dropped my jaw, unable to react at what just happened. “I won't kiss you properly until you can look me in the eye. Until then,” Sooyoung grinned like a child as she raised up the acrylic paint bottles, “Let's get to know each other in _all_ kinds of ways.” I went to her, trying to keep my remaining composure. I quietly helped pick up her art supplies, hearing the woman laugh at my bashful, beet-red face.

Before leaving, Sooyoung decided to take some photos of me in the rose garden. She showed me her camera she recently bought in hopes it’d convince me. It was one of the recent Kodak ones, the Pocket Instamatic. I’ve seen the advertisements for it on magazines, since then I wanted to see one up close. But I was hesitant at first. I explained I wasn’t really good with coming up with poses off the top of my head. Sooyoung puckered her lips giving me disappointed eyes. I had no other choice than to give in after a minute of her trying to guilt me into it. This was the right time for remembering modeling tips in the teen magazines I had read before after all. And on our way back home, we made a stop to treat our hard work with tasty pepperoni pizza & Peppo soda in a quiet dine-in.

On the drive home, I had the window down to admire the streets of this place. It looked like the lavish version of our neighborhood; the people here had nicer homes & cars, but I realized that didn’t matter much. It seemed like small eternity until we reached home. The first thing I did when Sooyoung stopped the car in front of her house is jump out of the car.

“Where to so quickly, angel?” She leaned on her side to see me through the lowered window.

I leaned against the car door, as I tried to come up with something off quickly. “I told my best friend I’d hang out with her today at the parlor.”

“Hmm, who is this friend you speak of?” She lifted up a brow, wondering.

 _Shoot._ I realized out of all the time I spent with Sooyoung lately, I don’t think I mentioned Hyesun before. Maybe I did once, I don’t exactly recall. “Her name is Hyesun, & we’ve been friends for 3 years. I’ll have to introduce you to her sometime.”

“You should’ve told me, I could have dropped you off there.” She remarked.

I shrugged it off, shaking my head. “It’s fine really.” I smiled, “But thanks for the offer! I have to go now, goodbye Sooyoung! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

I heard her yell a ‘bye’ as I ran cautiously on the street. Running on a parching summer day perhaps isn’t the best idea, but what could I do? _The ice cream parlor wasn’t too far from here anyways, a little running wouldn’t hurt._

“Hey! Sehun!!” I shouted as I ran from the crosswalk. He was outside the little parlor, sitting on one of the colorful bollards as he bent forward. “Hello?! I have something important to tell you!” I continued, running closer. It didn’t take me long to realize he was too busy lighting the cigarette in between his busted lip to even look up at me. I stopped, seeing the bloody knuckle he raised beside him covering the lighter. Closing the distance between us, I slowly stepped in front of him with arms crossed over my chest & a worried glare.

Dropping the lighter in his shirt’s pocket, Sehun stared at my tapping foot on the ground. He breathed in the cigarette into his mouth silently. We shared silence until he gave in, trailing his tired eyes up my figure. Only until his his eyes met mine he let the smoke hit my face, lowering his hand with the Parliament. “....What do you want?”

“You have to tell me something first.” I demanded as I moved the smoke away, “What happened to _you_?”

[***](https://youtu.be/hQevKY4gy4s)


	8. one of these days ഒ

**[3rd]**

It was a silent fight for Sehun to keep his jaded eyes on the road after another sleepless night. He had gotten used to the fact that he will always be exhausted before two in the afternoon, it was in his nature. The irascible man wasn’t sure when he began this hectic disarray of insomnia but he was now to suffer with it. After trying to calm it with different barbiturate pills & sedatives, the man realized he couldn’t keep on taking them as he began to abuse them too.

Tightening his grip on the wheel, Sehun craned his neck with a wince, suddenly feeling some sort of itch crawl up his skin. He kept on shaking it off roughly by shifting in his seat in an attempt to make it go away. Sighing heavily, he muttered profanities under his breath as he lowered the radio.

It was a far drive to Baekhyun’s, considering he had the money to buy a luxurious abode across town. A personal trait of his was boasting about how powerful he was to no one that really cared. Baekhyun also liked to hither & thither; consciously twisting those he came across, messing with their lives for what seemed like the best when in reality it was for the worst. A group of eight people were his confidants, Sehun being one of them. In return for helping Baekhyun they would be paid with loads of cash, have countless connections & most important of all, drugs they needed. Unfortunately to their delirium, the ringleader was counting down the days when they turned to throwaways as he drank a glassful of Bourban.

Pushing the keys into his pocket, Sehun stood tall behind his rusty car. It felt slow & prolonged the way the scorching sun dropped down on him. Sweltering under his clothes, he turned his face left glancing the large locked gates of Baekhyun’s home wondering several things. Sehun disliked summer every time it came around California, the parching weather was too dramatic for him & simultaneously made everyone crazier than usual. In a attempt to avoid being fried under the sun, he hurriedly crossed the concrete walkway to knock on the door. Finally standing under shade, Sehun grimaced realizing his skin felt damper than a kitchen cloth. He knocked again on the door, this time harshly without receiving an answer.

“I know you’re behind this door, shithead. I can see your car from here.” Sehun grumbled, crossing his arms as he heard loud laughs from the other side. He knew whose laughter that belonged to, & couldn’t control his angry reaction. “Chanyeol, open this goddamn door.” Looking down at the knob, he saw it slowly turning & without hesitation he brusquely took his shot. Messily as can be, Sehun was pleasantly greeted by the cold air of the large house. He groaned in relief, letting his pores take it all in as he stood in place.

“Why are you late?” A hint of amusement was in Chanyeol’s tone. “Maybe it was a frilly dress-wearing doll who goes by Cerise? I understand, I’d be late too.”

Turning around he met those malicious eyes of Chanyeol’s, & it was enough to tick Sehun off. He wore a sleazy smile & crossed his arms, leaning against the door.

“Don’t you have an underage girlfriend to fuck?” Sehun seethed through the smile plastered on his face.

“Which one?” The man replied returning the smile, pushing his shoulder against Sehun’s as he passed by.

“Ha ha,” It was enough to make Sehun punch his face but he let it go, realizing it was getting nowhere. “...Yeah, go fuck yourself.” It was always the same chore: walking around, disagreeing & pushing each other’s buttons regardless the hour. _Having a job is too tiresome._ Without rush, he scanned the room from where he was to notice the sofas empty. Usually during this time Sehun would witness seven people yelling over one another about the most redundant things ever, resulting him question his own association with them in general. “Where’s everyone?”

“Upstairs.” Chanyeol answered as he took a bite of the apple had in his hand, leaning against the kitchen sink. “Some of them couldn’t make it since Baekhyun gave them other shit to do.” Heading over to the many stairs that led up, he casually shrugged his shoulders before joining the others.

Instead of following Chanyeol upstairs, he slowly walked to the kitchen to set his eyes on a brown basket. It was a signature Baekhyun thing to mix cherries with strawberries together, leaving them beside a glass fruit bowl. It made the capricious man seem welcoming to anyone he brought in, but he knew better. Still, Sehun picked a bright red strawberry from the basket without thinking much of it. Biting off the tip, he shut his eyes feeling his sweet tooth react to the glacé fruit. It was almost a quick pinch inside his salivating mouth as he took another bite. And another.

Calmly taking his time he went through several strawberries before hearing his name being yelled from upstairs, along with the words ‘hurry the fuck up!’ Trying his best to not roll his eyes to the back of his head, he dropped the green remains of the last strawberry in the sink. Quickly washing his hands, he began to walk with dread at the nuisance these people brought. By this point he should’ve been used to it, but never could. The shirt he wore was black printed with white Hibiscuses & pineapples all over, & Sehun wiped his hands dry with the hem of it going up the stairs.

The first thing his eyes caught was Chanyeol fighting Yixing by throwing the apple he had in his mouth & shook his head. Sehun passed the nearly-unconscious Jongin beside the coffee table to sit across from him in the armchair. It would have concerned him but he saw faint powder on the other’s shirt, deciding let him live his own fix. “Tell me why you _fucking_ hurried me up here?” Sehun asked Chanyeol, “I don't see Baekhyun anywhere.”

“He’s talking to Kyungsoo about technical shit. Hang tight you big baby.” Chanyeol bantered, hastily sticking out his tongue at the younger as he tried to free himself from Yixing’s headlock.

 _Me? A big baby?_ Sehun derided in his thoughts, _you don’t see me playing like a little bitch._ He scoffed in return, propping his right elbow on the leather arm of the chair to rest his cheek on his palm. His dark eyes casted with languor onto the coffee table, trying to fill his mind with anything to kill the boredom he was made to experience.

A hypodermic needle, soiled spoon, a cup, & a lighter was scattered on Jongin’s side, enough to taunt Sehun as soon as he laid eyes on it. His lips felt dry at the thoughts running through his mind as he got goosebumps, & hopelessly shifted his gaze onto the mustard-colored vase in the middle of the coffee table. The vibrant purple Columbines springing out of the vase reminded him of the way Cerise looked from yesterday. Sehun distinctively remembered the way her eager voice sounded, & knew she wore a smile on her face before reaching him.

_“.....She what?” Sehun raised a brow as he leaned a little closer to hear Cerise’s voice. It was unusual for him to hear her voice suddenly get so tiny, & the language of her adverted eyes only made him question further. He saw how she cautiously adjusted in her shoes, & calmly gave her the chance to speak louder._

_Darting her eyes from the passersby to the place they both stood she hesitated, parting her lips slowly. “....Before I say it, promise me you won’t tell anyone.”_

_Cerise’s eyes were filled with a shy look & as tempting as it looked to pick on her, Sehun held back biting his tongue. He gave in with a sigh. “I promise.” Now he was the one hesitating as the girl lifted up her hand to stick her left pinky out. She waited for Sehun to do the same. Whatever, he thought while trying to not let his waspish behavior get the best of him. Sehun brought his pinky finger up to get it over with. His tongue played with the cigarette foot in his mouth, feeling Cerise’s finger wrap around his._

_She explained to the older what had happened earlier, closing the space between them with a few steps. He observed the way she turned florid when explaining what Sooyoung had done, dragging a hand up her chest. It was one of those rare moments when he could momentarily feel his pulse beating upon hearing the words ‘And then she kissed me. I thought Sooyoung was going to consume my soul instead, I felt it leave my body or something...I’m not sure, I couldn’t think. I was surprised.’_

_Sehun kept on prying about the kiss, dissecting it piece by piece, unaware why he cared so much. It rattled him knowing that was Sooyoung’s intention from the start, but he attempted to forget it long enough. That bitch is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he thought, I fucking knew it,...I fucking knew it...! “I don’t mean to wind you up but that isn’t a kiss, technically speaking.” He replied with a sour taste in his mouth._

_Taking the cigarette away from his lips, the man gave Cerise a lesson on the ‘kiss 101’ course as he leaned against the alley wall. It didn’t take Sehun much to realize — four minutes in — he was trying to explain the nonexistent complexity of a kiss to a teenager who seemed to slowly turn from nervous to annoyed, & realize how desperate he sounded trying to prove it wasn’t an ‘actual kiss’._

_“If everything you say is true, then why would I disagree?” Cerise puffed, now feeling upset. She crossed her arms over her chest, unable to believe she confessed a surreal moment in her life to Sehun but he tried to invalidate it. Sadly, she had no one else to tell it to. She gripped onto the hem of her dress, “Just what is your problem?” Cerise scrunched up her face, grumbling hearing the same justification come out of his mouth, ‘Because you're too young for that.’ She furrowed her brows under his gaze without saying a word._

_Ultimately deciding he went a little too far, Sehun tried to come from a different approach. “....Man, whatever.” He shrugged letting out a sigh. “So,....” he paused, “Did you like it? Or what’s the deal.”_

_“I—I don't know.” She coyly replied, dropping the front she put up._

_“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”_

_She hesitated again, unsure of how to say it. Cerise felt little with the way Sehun was looking at her. In reality the teen was uncertain, but she know she did like Sooyoung among some blurred lines. “....Isn’t it weird? I mean...she is a girl, & I heard....—”_

_“No it's not.” Sehun reassured her in the simplest words. “It’s normal like anything else. Whatever crap you heard, forget it.”_

_All it took was for Sehun to say those words, reminding Cerise he wasn’t such a dummy as she tended to perceive him as. In all honesty, he’s the only one she could truly rely on without feeling scared; being able to pour herself out, Sehun would give advice or just listen at times, & that would suffice. The girl was secretly grateful for that. Cerise sheepishly grinned, raising up her hand to scratch the back of her head like a timid child. _

_“I guess you’re right.” She agreed. And for just one moment, the two looked in each other’s eyes & saw some of the true things that made them friends._

Bringing his mind back into the now, Sehun turned his eyes away from the flowers to Chanyeol & Yixing. They kept on calling his name, seeing he was thinking about something intensely. “What?” He asked, in his voice it was transparent he was mentally preoccupied.

“What’s up with you?” Yixing lifted up a brow to examine the man.

“He was probably thinking about Cerise.” Chanyeol teased, nudging the man beside him to get the idea.

“Who is Cerise?” A calm voice echoed through the walls as it became silent, quickly switching the atmosphere in the place. “Or have I yet to be acquainted with?” It was the notorious Baekhyun, who walked in as he put his hands on his hips. With an interesting grin on his face, his eyes landed on Sehun, who adjusted in his seat uncomfortably.

“A _girl_ he likes.” Chanyeol answered matter-of-factly. “Doesn’t want to admit it though.”

“There’s nothing to admit.” Sehun cooly interjected.

“Then why would you spend so much time with her, huh? That’s code for ‘you wanna fuck her’—”

“Don’t fucking say that shit.” Sehun crossed his arms, a crease forming on is forehead. “She’s just a kid. It’s disgusting....Don’t try to group me with you, I’m _not_ some sicko with pedophilic tendencies.”

“Pedophile?!” Chanyeol fumed, getting up from the couch with balled fists.

Baekhyun watched the yelling escalate, quietly pulling out a revolver from behind his black shirt. He gave them one chance to settle down before pointing his Smith & Wesson towards the vase filled with freshly cut Columbines. Clutching the gun as he mentally counted to three, the man pulled down the steel hammer with his thumb until hearing the chamber click. Pushing the trigger without hesitation, Baekhyun watched the three jerk from sounds of a .44 magnum shatter glass at close range.

He waited for them to sit back down, a little visibly nervous before he continued. “...That’s _one hell of a way_ to end a an argument.” Baekhyun finally said, tucking his revolver back in place between his shirt & jeans. Clearing his throat & crossing his arms, he decided to continue with what he wanted to say. “Those guys that fucked up Sehun yesterday were from the town over. I already had a talk with the fat fuck who sent them & shit's clear. But to be sure, I sent the others. And Kyungsoo too.” A smile appeared on Baekhyun’s face again, as he crossed his arms. “There’s not much for you dumbasses to do other than making sure everything’s in check for tomorrow.”

“...Sounds good to me.” Chanyeol shrugged, to which Yixing also agreed with a nod.

Sehun didn’t initially react much to Baekhyun’s words. Instead, he leaned back onto the chair hoping for the man to leave so he could as well. Tapping shoes onto the wood underneath him, he counted the seconds. It was clear as day he didn’t want to be there.

Taking out small, clear bag from his shirt’s pocket, Baekhyun took several steps back. He noticed how Sehun didn’t seem to care, & thought that this would definitely gain his attention. “Orange, catch!” Baekhyun yelled abruptly, throwing the small bag. He turned away from the two, & stared at Sehun. “Anything you wanna say?”

He only half-smiled, knowing Baekhyun wanted him to meaninglessly thank him. With downcast eyes, Sehun opened the bag & stuck his index finger in the white powder. “Sounds good to me too.” He silently replied before tasting the bitterness in his mouth. The man internally groaned at the purity of the drug, curling his toes. He muttered quick profanities under his breath as he stood up in a hurry. Sitting criss-crossed right before the coffee table, Sehun set the reclosable bag beside the spoon. He rolled up his sleeves with haste, his body painfully aching for the heroin in his system. Sehun breathed out heavy as he picked up the needle Jongin had used earlier & pushed away the flowers that had landed on it.

𖠳

“...So,....do...do you, like...forgive me?” Hyesun scooted closer to Cerise, “I’ll never say those horrible things again. I promise!”

Cerise gulped her saliva, seeing what she thought was genuine regret on her friend’s face. They haven’t talked since that day. And now, the two were sitting on Hyesun’s bed in her lilac-colored bedroom. The girl invited Cerise over to make amends & apologize for the way she acted. In truth, she didn’t know what got into her & was filled with regret, unable to keep on pushing it to the side.

“...Yeah. You _are_ my best friend after all.” Cerise answered, earning a tight squeeze from her best friend. The hug brought a smile to her face & she hugged Hyesun back, being greeted by a warm feeling.

“Great!” Hyesun broke the embrace, jumping off the bed. Spinning in place, she playfully chirped, “Let’s chose dresses for tomorrow!”

Cerise became confused, “Dresses? Tomorrow?”

“You’re coming to the party with me & Chanyeol tomorrow.” Hyesun grinned wide.

“What?!” Cerise shook her head aggressively on the bed, “I can’t! I would...be too busy! Very busy!”

“Busy? What could you be doing on a Friday night?” Hyesun paused, “And I won’t accept any answers that don’t involve making out.”

Cerise hesitated, staring at the dead-set friend of her’s. Loud places weren’t exactly her favorite, they always made her feel out of place & uncomfortable. She was completely used to spending her undisturbed nights at home reading cheesy novels or looking outside her window trying to spot entities in the sky.

“C’mon Cerise. Please,” Hyesun pouted in place, “You’ll be safe & I promise to not let any strangers near you.” She winked, “..I also know that Sooyoung woman will be there. If you show her how friendlier you can be, she _might_ give you a raise. Doesn’t that sound grand?”

Hearing the name of Sooyoung coming out of Hyesun’s mouth certainly caught the attention of Cerise. Her ears perked up, & her attention was undivided. The teen thought about it for a moment, thinking about her neighbor. _Just this once, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. If Sooyoung is there it must be totally worth it._

“....I give in. But just this once Hyesun, since you promised.”

Although, Hyesun was too busy to pay attention to the girl; she ran to the closet trying to choose a dress that would fit Cerise in all the best ways possible.

[***](https://youtu.be/48PJGVf4xqk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days, I’m going to cut you into little pieces.


	9. art deco ഒ

**[3rd]**

_This was a bad idea._

It’d be an understatement to say such words played around Cerise’s mind like endless figure 8s. She stood up from the red backseats of the Cadillac only to be greeted by a gust of night air brush against her legs.

The girl judged her decision from yesterday harshly with pursed lips, feeling foreign in her own skin. Moreover it was her rash thinking upsetting her most of all. It didn’t seem right to be in a short satin dress that stuck to her figure uncomfortably, nor the lucent heels Hyesun made her wear. She secretly wanted to wash off the makeup on her face & hide in her bedsheets. _It’s stupid to even assume a party would give me a opening to know Sooyoung on an intimate level._ Shifting in the heels she wasn't quite used to, Cerise turned over to her best friend who was busy flirting with her boyfriend.

Shaking off the indifferent feeling for now, she pulled down the hem of her black dress. Hurrying past the two, Cerise looked over her shoulder sticking out her tongue. Pushing her hair out of the way, the teen continued striding until passing large entrance doors.

The unfamiliar faces dancing with each other, the strange smell of incense, & socialites shooting up made Cerise’s oozing confidence shrivel like a pack of raisins. Her hazel eyes darted from one place to another, unable to keep her nervous ticks in. _How am I supposed to find Sooyoung here? It would be like finding a needle in a haystack!_ Her stomach was turning the more she thought about it. “This is...gonna be _one_ night,...right guys?” Standing there silently, she waited for a response from Hyesun but it never came. “..Right, guys..?”

Cerise turned around, frustration becoming visible on her face to find the couple had disappeared into thin air. With crossed arms she sighed before trying to search among the crowds for the two, head up high. Giving in as there wasn’t much luck she lowered her gaze remembering Hyesun lied, adamantly saying she’d be by her side like the best friend she was. Cerise let out a glum laugh, trying to come to terms how her best friend may never change.

She took cautious steps ahead to find a place to sit. Despite the party being on their feet, Cerise took an empty spot on a leather couch. Sitting on the far left she tried to advert her attention elsewhere, realizing the pair beside her indulged in their drug usage. Fumbling her hands on her lap, Cerise’s eyes crept from the rolled up hundred-dollar bill one of them threw onto the cluttered coffee table, then to laughing passersby. And among those people, she got glimpses of the floor across where rock music was blaring the loudest.

It amazed Cerise how complete strangers could gather in one place without any restrictions; they didn’t care what people thought of them. She tapped her heels to I Put a Spell on You, observing the crowd engulf themselves in their escapism. But one amidst the masses stood out the most, & it was someone Cerise was awfully familiar with. His skin glimmered in his stygian shirt, flowing openly as a silver cross dangled on his chest. Sehun, who seemed like an open display, danced in the fluorescent lights. The others around him stopped dead in their tracks — even going as far as to make room for him — mesmerized by the man’s presence.

“Like his dancing?”

Out of her trance, Cerise snapped her head to her right, meeting eyes with a man presumably older. Unable to utter anything, the teen took one look at his face & scanned his posh attire. She then smiled sheepishly with a quick shrug. Clearing her throat, Cerise answered his question on a vague note worth beating herself over later. He laughed at her inexperience as he handed her a drink. She took it simply, scooting over for him to sit beside her without thought. “He dances alone frequently. I know this because he always gets everyone’s attention.” The man went on, “Really. Makes you wonder why since he’s very good.”

Lowering the glass in her hand, Cerise thought about his words. Parting her lips, she carried the conversation with her signature wit.

The strange man leaned listening to her soft voice with a smile. Not too long was he intrigued by the girl he chose to sit next to, her voice completely different from her jailbait appearance. He nicely interrupted her, “Actually I only came here to taste the food. Baekhyun’s got great taste.” Cerise lifted a brow, letting a laugh escape her lips before quickly apologizing. _Baekhyun, huh.._ “You’re cute so i’ll let it slide.” The man disregarded it scooting close to her, yet Cerise didn’t seem to notice. “And what brings a girl like you here, all by yourself?”

“Actually, my friend ditched me for her boyfriend the second we got here.” Cerise plastered a smile, “So I’m sitting next to you now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He continued, moving another inch closer. Cerise was too busy staring down at the glass in her lap to respond or even notice his cunning moves. The man had given it to her but she knew it was something she wasn’t allowed to drink. Even so, her curiosity always got the best of her. The man beside her watched Cerise bring the glass-full of liquor just above her lips. As she was about to smell the aroma, almost on cue it was snatched from her hand.

She looked up to see a hard-faced Sehun stare down at her. Cerise, completely dumbfounded watched him grunt disapprovingly & knew he was going to let her have it — or to put it more appropriately, chew her head off. She was preparing to meet some harsh consequence as her hands fell onto her lap.

After dragging his tongue across his bottom lip, Sehun spoke up sternly. “ _Never_ take an open drink from a fucking stranger. Isn’t it common sense or are you just stupid?”

“I’m _not_ stupid.” Cerise sharply answered. In reality she was nervous of what he might do although the teen crossed her arms over her chest & looked up. “I wasn’t going to drink it either.”

“Then what?” He countered back with an underlying deadpanning tone, knowing there was nothing further for her to retaliate with.

The man beside Cerise could feel the tension between them grow & decided to intervene. “And you are to her....?”

“This is my girlfriend, you sick fuck.” Leaning himself to meet the faces of the two, his voice lowered significantly as he continued. Sehun’s dark eyes stuck onto the stranger beside Cerise, “What if I told your wife & kids what kind of fucked husband you are....Coming here to snort coke & hook up girls that are half your age. That’s just disgusting.” The man became startled at the words coming from Sehun & made him wonder exactly who was he, although a part of him didn’t want to find out.

The man profusely apologized as he got up & never turned back, getting lost in the crowd terrified. Cerise watched silently, unable to believe what she had witnessed. Mouth agape, she watched Sehun take his seat beside her with a victorious grin. “I took the piss right out of him!” He said before doing a one-man toast, holding the drink he had taken away from Cerise. Kicking up his feet on the messy coffee table, he continued. “Did you see? Like a fucking dog, tail in between his legs & shit!”

Cerise overlooked what he was saying, crossing her arms. She rolled her eyes as she muttered, “I’m _not_ your girlfriend.”

Sehun’s grin disappeared as quickly as it formed, following with a scoff. “Man I know that. My girl would never let herself be played like you were.”

“I wasn’t being played with in the first place.” Cerise's defenses rose, feeling chastised in a way she knew too well by him. “Why do you always hav—”

 _“Fucking bite me.”_ He interrupted brusquely. Sehun noticed how hostile her demeanor grew after but didn’t care. Instead of trying to mend the situation, his lips met with the tall glass he took from Cerise. His tongue was struck by the taste of Bacardi laced with Ecstasy, trailing down his throat with a burning sensation that made him grimace slightly. The aftertaste of spiked rum lingered in his mouth, strongly bitter-sweet like soured fruit.

While Cerise was storming up ways to make Hyesun pay for ditching her, Sehun studied her troublesome appearance with every drink he took. He became tight-lipped glancing at her ankles continuously teeter shiny black heels, traveling up crossed legs to her scarcely covered thighs; he passed these until reaching her small chest & twig-like arms, finally eyeing Cerise’s pondering expression. Sehun’s features softened the longer he stared at her, a stifling wave overtake his face.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sehun took more mouthfuls of Bacardi as a way to distract his thoughts. It was a swift move of setting feet down & discreetly increase the distance from Cerise for him to seem reticent. Adverting his attention elsewhere, his eyes roamed from person to person, face a rubescent shade. Every stranger he met eyes with gave him an inviting “hello” as they passed by. But he ignored them taking zero interest. Slowly & tactically he shifted in his seat to sneak a glance at Cerise for a second, jittery & tongue-tied before being caught. _Fuck_ , he breathed out. Sehun’s eyes locked with hers for what felt like a painful eternity; the pools of amber shining against the lights gave him a waning feeling in the core of his chest. He could feel his blood starting to rush inside his body as the music ringed in his ears.

Cerise tilted her head, lifting a brow. “Er, are you okay?...Your face...is all red....” She waited to hear his response, watching him turn away.

He sat in silence, almost uneasy feeling her curious stare.

Until Sehun couldn’t take it anymore, throwing the empty glass onto the floor beside his rundown chucks; as the sound of breaking glass drowned in rock music, Cerise froze. She quietly watched him take out one of the last three Parliaments in his shirt’s pocket. Setting it between his lips, he lit it carelessly.

Sehun still didn’t say a word as he suddenly took Cerise by the hand, bringing her across the room. She questioned him in her mind, lifting up a brow when their arms brushed together & felt strangers’ eyes on them.

They reached the stairs when the music had declined a little. The two had stopped at the beginning of the steps, & Sehun let go of her hand. Cerise was confused, watching his pensive figure trace back & forth beside her. She walked up the first set of stairs, carefully leaning against the handrail wondering why he dragged her here. He began to walk near, pushing the Parliament aside to grace Cerise with something that was on his mind. That was, before being interrupted by a loud resonant voice. Cerise saw the older’s eyes dart to the top of the stairs & she did so too.

There was a man she’d never recalled seeing before, but the first thing standing out to her was his hair. It was messy at the top, dyed in red & black with strands reaching just above his poised shoulders. He sported a scarlet & blue bowling shirt unbuttoned with sleeves rolled up, exposing a white t-shirt tucked under jeans. There were two other men beside him, guised with hard-looking faces intimidating Cerise. Rushing beside Sehun, she watched the man saunter down each step.

She would later come to know him to be the notorious Byun Baekhyun. He introduced himself to Cerise amiably with a handshake while she stared at him, dumbfounded. Baekhyun turned to Sehun, a malevolent look casted over his eyes upon hearing the girl’s name. “Cerise,” He said her name again, this time almost as if to taste it. “ _Cerise._ What a pretty little name that is. French, yeah?” Baekhyun complimented, eyeing her body still in bloom. She politely answered she was half-French from her mother’s side, a little surprised he caught it.

Baekhyun’s manner was inviting as he continued to speak into a trail of — what Cerise thought — was nothingness. And she peeked over to Sehun whom was visibly opposed to the man before them. It didn’t take long for her to think Baekhyun was a wrongfully opulent man. He spoke eloquently, passionate but excessive about meaningless things; she somehow knew he tended to wear that expressive façade to hide something more sinister behind those eyes. _Silly lamb_ , Baekhyun smiled down at Cerise, _Walking right into the slaughterhouse._

“—Ah! Which reminds me, I have to go. There’s an urgent meeting in Topanga I must attend.” Baekhyun apologized with a light nod, “I will make the most of it with a few drinks, not much I can do. But until then, it was nice meeting you Cerise. Hopefully we get to talk privately in length soon.” Lifting a hand to steal the Parliament in Sehun’s mouth, the man smiled at the two. “There’s an empty bedroom upstairs by the way. Have _all_ the fun you two want, after all a little party never hurt no one.” Setting the cigarette on his lips, he winked before leaving their sight. Cerise turned her body, eyes following Baekhyun stride his way among the people who made space for him. Ultimately he disappeared with his men, exiting through the large doors.

While she stood in place trying to forget Baekhyun’s sleazy comment, Sehun sighed beside her. More questions formed in her mind when she was told not to get near Baekhyun ever. She agreed with a short nod, figuring he was off-putting regardless. Although, a part of the curious teen wanted to know more. Cerise outspokenly played with the thought of the man’s meeting, to which Sehun at first flat out rejected her knowing. After many tuggings at his left sleeve & whines, he soon gave in. Quickly taking her away from the party, Cerise stood on the sidelines without question. Sehun leaned near Cerise’s ear, shifting his voice with caution.

She soon learned Sehun’s boss, Baekhyun went to meet his personal connections at the lavish city by the bay. The place where he overviews the import of the finest drugs before being cut & finally distributed by the ring leader’s eight men he trusted — which included the vigilant Sehun. The connections he met with are important figures from the highest positions. Sehun also carefully mentioned how Baekhyun was a ‘damn-good briber’; whenever there’d be times his business was in jeopardy, money protected him. “That’s all I can say, you wouldn’t exactly understand the rest. Ya happy now?” His last remark seemed to fly over Cerise’s head. She stood in place, brows furrowed. It didn’t hit her how serious what he was involved in until now. “Aren’t you... _afraid_ of putting your life on the line?”

Sehun became aware of her disapproval, a troubling look on her face. “You don’t gotta worry about me. I’m covered by Baekhyun & myself. People know not to mess with us.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder guiding her back to the party, feeling secretly pleased by her concern. “You can tell your dolls when you play tea party about this but not _anyone_ else, got that?” In return, Cerise rolled her eyes. _As if I’d ever tell someone about any of this..._

“...Cerise!...Cerise...!”

Darting her widened eyes ahead, Cerise’s heart stood still meeting eyes with a smiling Sooyoung. The woman called her name again as she waved her hand in the air. Their locking eyes didn’t falter from each other despite the flashing lights disrupt their vision. Without saying a word, she tried to get out of Sehun’s grasp. The girl managed to squirm away, only to run across the room like a child.

Sooyoung instinctively pulled her in by the hand, embracing Cerise tightly. She shut her eyes as the floral scent from the girl brought memories of when they first met. _Mandora, Bergamot & Lilac_, Sooyoung fondly remembered. It nearly displeased her realizing she couldn’t stay hugging Cerise forever. A smile still graced the woman’s lips, gently cupping her face as they parted a few inches. “I just about couldn’t recognize my Cerise with such a daring look. But a true artist always knows her study!” She saw how flushed Cerise was getting, & leaned closer. “How has not one person thrown themselves at you, angel?”

It didn’t take Sooyoung long to conclude it may have been because of an orange-haired devil on the girl’s back, who soon came into view with crossed arms & a mean glare.

𖠳

It was clear as day to Cerise that the two in front of her did _not_ get along. At first, she couldn’t differentiate the tension nor the passive aggressiveness they indirectly exchanged in simple words. While she nervously observed their interaction, the girl flinched abruptly. “Did Cerise _really_ say that about me?” Sehun asked as he draped an arm around Cerise. Bringing her close, he looked down at her with a smile. “How _fucking_ hilarious.”

“She makes you seem like quite the character. Got lots of stories to tell while we’re working.” Sooyoung continued, “Oh! Did Cerise tell you she works for me? As my—”

“Man I don’t remember,” Sehun paused for a moment, “She might’ve mentioned it when she was giving me head in my car.” He flashed a smug grin before shrugging. The silence after trailed long enough to cut through paper.

Cerise broke the silence first, blurting out she needed to go to the restroom. Sehun gave her a strange look, seeing past her lie. Still, he gave her one last stare before pointing to the bathroom. Just as Cerise turned around with a relieved sigh, Sehun stopped her by the shoulder. He strictly said ‘do not talk to anyone’ resulting in the teen's signature eye-roll.

“Isn’t she the sweetest?” Sooyoung blissfully mentioned, watching Cerise's back shyly turn towards the hallway.

“Yeah she’s so adorable,” Sehun replied, “I wanna put my dick in her mouth.”

“Ugh!” Sooyoung flared, “You’re horrible. No wonder it sounds like she’s complaining whenever she talks about you....” The woman noticed she pulled a string she didn’t know, watching his behavior switch into a defensive one.

His aggressiveness did not intimidate her for a second. Though Sooyoung found it weird how Sehun began to ask her question after question about Cerise. _What’s her favorite color? Her favorite movie? Her favorite song?_ Realizing she didn’t know much about her as he did, Sooyoung began to feel embarrassed almost, stumbling to answer. The woman could tell he liked seeing her struggle, & decided to have her own fun. “I said she’s very open to me & I didn’t mean it _that_ way. We get _straight_ into business.” While the woman teased, Sehun laughed in an attempt to surpass his anger building up.

“See, there’s a difference between you & me. I’m a woman, Cerise naturally likes me. While you....let’s face it, she sees you as a good for nothing junkie.” She noticed his relentless leer, burning a hole or two into her. _Maybe I said too much?_ The woman didn’t fear what he might do until he glanced around the room for a moment.

The place turned dim, with many people now running to the dance floor as a new song began to play; Sehun took a few steps close to her, shifting as he pulled something out of his pocket. Sooyoung’s heart dropped, blankly watching him lean beside her ear. Her body instantly froze, feeling the cold tip of a switchblade on her neck.

“Watch what you say to me. Cerise is pretty damn stupid but don’t let it get to your fucking head. I _won’t_ let you.” Sehun whispered, dangerously pushing the blade into the woman’s neck. “If you take advantage of her, I will find out.” He began to lightly drag it across her neck, as his breath faintly touched her ear. “And you don’t want problems with me, do you?” Sehun waited for her response only to hear blissful silence from her end, considering music to his ears. “Good.”

In reality, Sooyoung was too petrified to move. While Sehun went back in place casually, she tried to make sense of what just happened. What scared her most of all was how easy it was for him to put away the blade in his pocket when Cerise came back. It wasn’t until Sooyoung saw Cerise’s bubbly smile bring her some assurance she needed from the shock.

“Did I miss anything?” Cerise asked, standing beside Sehun. Her eyes shyly made their way up to Soooyoung, secretly adoring the way her silhouette glowed.

Sehun vacantly replied, “Not really.” He looked over to the woman who hesitantly responded the same.

“I’m not going back there again.” Cerise said with a toothy grin on her face, “It’s victory alone making your way through the passed out people.” Hearing Cerise unconsciously induced a smile on Sooyoung’s face. Her voice was refreshing, something the woman could never get tired of. She parted her lips about to say something in return until she was rudely cut off by Sehun. “We gotta get going now. It’s a drag babysitting all night.”

“How about I take her off your hands?” Sooyoung proposed inquisitively, “It wouldn’t be a problem for me, I could take her home.”

The man paused, seeing an ounce of provocation left on her face. He almost found it entertaining in spite of giving her a good scare. “I think we’re good.”

“Would you like to stay for a little while?” Sooyoung asked the girl, desperation becoming evident in her voice. “...Tonight, I don’t think we’ve spent a lot of time together &....”

Cerise had trouble trying to hide her excitement, though her reply conceived it well. “...I wouldn’t mind.” She then peeked over to Sehun giving him those sad puppy eyes until he agreed.

Sooyoung took Cerise gently by the hand, taking her across the room. “Angel, I’ve been meaning to dance with you all night!” Clinging onto the blushing teen playfully, the red-haired beauty gleamed beside her.

Sooyoung paused, holding onto Cerise as they stood before the dance floor. “Ready?” She nodded, praying she doesn’t step on the older’s heels by accident. The woman fondly tightened her grip on the girl’s hand, ready to lead her in the dancing crowd until Sehun stopped her. He managed to pull Cerise by her upper arm, roughly stopping all of them in their tracks. Now visibly annoyed by the woman’s presence, he broke in, “Where the fuck are you going with her? She’s gonna dance with me.”

“You are the _last_ person Cerise wants to stand next to.” Sooyoung scoffed, “So what makes you think she’d wanna _dance_ with you, carrot head?”

While they were busy butting heads with each other, Cerise noticed a man observing them from afar while glancing around. The lights blurred her vision, yet she distinctively remembered his face from somewhere.

Only until he began to walk in their direction, Cerise remembered who he was. Jongin’s golden skin & dark wispy hair was enough to set him apart from anyone in the room. He tranquilly came up from behind Sehun, straightening his figure. “Hey, I need to talk to you.” Jongin intervened, taking a gander at Cerise. 

“Can’t you see I’m fucking busy?!” Sehun angrily replied without turning to face him. Jongin calmly pressed, “ _It’s important.”_

Realizing it must’ve been some business matter he forgot, Sehun hesitantly let go of Cerise. He watched Sooyoung click her tongue, “I guess me & Cerise will go dance then!” He felt somehow defeated watching the girl get dragged into the sea of people.

Jongin leaned closely to Sehun, lazily eyeing his friend’s sullen pout.

𖠳

Sooyoung’s aptitude was no charade.

She glowed in the dark with her face painted in heavy makeup. Her eyes — fixating on Cerise — looked as big as teacups, covered in double set eyelashes. The woman showed she wasn’t afraid of being herself, spreading her lips into a big confident smile. “Come on!” Sooyoung yelled over the music, moving closely towards Cerise. Swaying her hips close to her, she was able to open up the girl sooner than she thought. Cerise’s body became less tense, watching Sooyoung dance naturally & the others around her.

“Well I’m your Venus. I’m your fire, at your desire.” Sooyoung sang along to the song, feeling her heart tighten as Cerise laughed lightly. Moving her fiery hair out of her face she continued to sway as Cerise did too, still getting the hang of dancing in heels. _Look at me. Look at me_ , Sooyoung pleaded, catching Cerise advert her eyes when they met each other’s. _Look at me_. And when Cerise finally met eyes with Sooyoung, she slowed her dancing. Blush gracefully planted on the woman’s cheeks, she felt like an anxious child all over again. That was all it took for Sooyoung to pull Cerise into her, connecting their bodies.

And the two danced to Venus as they held hands & grabbed people's attention around them. Sooyoung never took her eyes off Cerise, wanting to remember this night down to the smallest detail of the girl’s funny facial expressions. They both forgot the dreading of the ticking clock as they shyly grinned inside the rose-colored oyster of their own world.

It wasn’t until the song ended, Sooyoung was able to come back to reality & pull away suddenly. She continued to stare, realizing Cerise’s small florid face look around & give an awkward smile. “...W—what?” Cerise embarrassingly asked, the feeling of temporary happiness lingering.

“...Let’s go, angel.” Sooyoung finally said.

They left the dance floor to meet Sooyoung’s friends. Joohyun’s & Seulgi’s eyes widened at the sight of their friend holding hands with the teenager they saw once. The two stood in the large kitchen, leaning against the counter holding drinks. “What’s this?” Joohyun asked, stunned. The woman lifted a brow, waiting for an answer. “Yeah, mind filling us in?” Seulgi smirked, throwing a wink to the two in front of them.

Sooyoung unapologetically replied, cupping her study’s cheeks. “...Look at this cute face! How could one resist?” Cerise smiled sheepishly, praying not to sway in their bad side so soon. Seulgi slowly turned her face to Joohyun whom disapprovingly listened, taking small sips from her glass.

After introductions & some chit-chat, Sooyoung pulled Cerise away from her friends. Standing safely away from them, the strange silence began to settle in.

“...Tomorrow.” Sooyoung breathed out, “...H—How about...you & I...go on a date? That’s if you’re not too busy,...” The woman’s body stiffened, catching hazel eyes sparkle up in candor. In truth, Sooyoung knew it was abrupt of herself but she couldn’t wait another day. She wanted to know more about her than just scratch the surface. And it tormented the woman’s thoughts more than she liked to admit. Cerise on the other hand didn’t think about it twice, sincerely giving a yes without delay. Sooyoung smiled as she brought the girl in for another tight hug. _My real own heaven-sent angel._

Once they both excitedly agreed on their first date, Sooyoung continued conversing with Cerise without realizing it. Seulgi watched the lovely pair & thought how interesting Cerise must’ve been, for she caught Sooyoung’s attention lots; even going as far as to mention the teenager with her group of friends. _She is very young, that would definitely be a problem. But she’s pretty as a picture, almost fairy-like..._ While the brunette took sips from the glass in her hand, Joohyun felt uneasy. She questioned what her friend gotten herself into this time, thinking Sooyoung had become infatuated senseless. _And over a kid!_ While Joohyun observed how sweet their body language grew, Sooyoung spoke endearing words to the girl beside her, eyes focused on the outline and fullness of Cerise’s lips. A laugh immediately escaped her mouth when Cerise mentioned how she was still getting used to the heels.

The chatting didn’t last very long, all pausing as they heard clamorous footsteps near each second passing. Sehun bursted in on their party in a hurry, chest heaving rapidly. Cerise froze in place watching him regain his breath, & so did the others with confused looks on their faces. He looked far unkempt than before; his blouse hardly held onto him by a bare button, the silver cross he always wore seemed to have swung to the back of his neck, & his cheeks, glistening with sweat, were redder than fruit punch. Sehun brought his brows together in an attempt to suppress his agitation but failed. “ _Goddamn!”_ He snapped, “I looked everywhere for you Cerise!”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Sooyoung saw him harshly grab ahold of Cerise’s wrist & interfered quickly. “We waited for you but you weren’t there. So where were you, huh? Having _fun_ with your friend?”

Sehun scoffed before pulling Cerise away; he realized she wasn’t worth arguing with anyway. The man didn’t turn back as he walked out, but knew Cerise did. Sooyoung was unscathed by his blasé response as she blew a goodbye kiss to her dear girl with a smile, eyes connecting until Cerise passed the corridor.

“...Sooyoung, explain.” Joohyun ordered, “Now.”

Sehun & Cerise shared silence passing the groups of people in the room, catching the smell of incense & overused cigarettes one last time. Her eyes darted from person to person, secretly hoping she’d find Hyesun, but never did. As they finally made it outside the teen filled her lungs with fresh air, trying to catch up to Sehun’s pace. 

She nervously looked over, seeing his dark eyes stare at the nothingness ahead. The older sighed loudly on the pathway once he felt Cerise’s gaze, still holding onto her wrist with pressure. He didn’t plan on speaking first, his selfish ego wouldn’t allow him. Sehun wasn't sure why he was upset, but knew the thought of Sooyoung angered him.

It wasn’t until Cerise apologized, he was able reclaim his cool. He let go of her wrist, slowing his pace.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Sehun replied, “I wasn’t really pissed at you anyways.” A little bit of silence trailed before Cerise spoke again, this time more reluctant than the last.

The teen cleared her throat as she timidly parted her mouth. “...W—well, uh, did anything happen between you...& Jongin?”

Sehun was quickly taken aback by her question, raising his eyebrows. He glanced at her curious face as she patiently waited. The older swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to dig the recollection from earlier deep in his brain.

Cerise noted his change in facial expression, giving away the answer. As she gasped in surprise, he quickly shut her down. “Shut up.” Sehun pinched her nose, “Why are you putting your nose in _my_ business huh?” His eyes narrowed.

“I don’t shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up!” Cerise shook her head & stuck out her tongue, “Aghhh!”

Sehun saw a bright smile light up her face as she took off the black heels. Her hair quickly became a mess while racing barefoot to his car, & he couldn’t help but sigh to himself.

[***](https://youtu.be/QbLGjeR9bvI)


	10. majorette ഒ

**[C]**

The beach always had this unique, earthy lingering scent in the air. It was there no matter how much rain or sunshine bestowed upon it’s bonny shorelines. And the people — their bare backs faced to us — enjoying the sun hitting their skin as they jumped into the waters. One glance of the beach’s glorious midday view from the parking lot was enough to make my soul beam with excitement. 

“...I know this is kind of an...impressionable first date,” Sooyoung softly mentioned, dropping her arm around my shoulder. “...I remembered you went to the beach with your parents & you haven’t been since, so I thought it’d be a nice surprise.”

I replied without hesitation, turning on my mary janes & into her arms. I felt like a kindred spirit once again, reigniting my adolescent memories; my cheeks turned bright red as cherry pie. “I like it! Very much!” I smiled up at her, wrapping my arms around Sooyoung’s waist, “I feel like I’m 10 again...The smell of the bay, the perfect weather & the sand — oh I could just immerse myself in it all!”

“Cerise, angel.” Sooyoung laughed at my enthusiasm, “Today is just the beginning.” We stood together on the pavement, unwilling to separate our bodies from each other as the sounds of the wind & seagulls filled around us. It was like a quiet game to see who would let go first, but Sooyoung clearly wasn’t against the idea of standing in each other’s arms forever.

I decided to break the silence as quietly & waning with an inevitable sigh. “...We should probably unload the stuff from your car, S.” Once I mustered up the courage to look up at Sooyoung’s heavenly face, her blood red lips spread into a gummy smile making my knees weak. I sheepishly smiled back before letting go of her waist, “S—shall we?”

“Alright.” She replied blissfully, holding onto my hand as we walked towards the trunk of her little Mercury. A small laugh escaped my lips, catching her swing our locked hands in the air back & forth.

𖠳

I sighed loudly, tucking loose strands of hair behind my reddened ears. “It’s okay, it’s okay...” I repeated to myself in a whisper, a hopeless mantra under the dim lights of the wooden changing stall. In reality I was _far_ from a simple okay. My stomach was turning the more I thought about how this is my first date & I didn’t know what to expect, or what were the rules. I’d seen a few over the top romance movies thanks to Hyesun & laughed at how cliché they all turned out, but it made me wonder if _that’s_ how it was supposed to be. My thoughts began to spin into a nervous web quickly. 

My eyes casted downwards at my own swimsuit. I bit down my lip coming to the sudden realization maybe it wasn’t too flattering on me. It was a pale blue micro dress with a thin red tie-string at the waist; it made me look childish. And my braided pigtails didn’t help. _It doesn’t look flattering at all!_ I sighed deeply at myself, what a horrible albeit embarrassing choice. The only good thing about this was Sooyoung went to the changing rooms across from mine, & she wouldn’t be able to see me yet.

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice asked, knocking on the stall I locked myself in. “Is someone in there?” I quickly gave a ‘yes’ in return, grabbing my clothes & shoes. Without turning to look at the stranger, I passed by them onto the open entrance.

I froze in my pink sandals once my eyes darted straight ahead, catching red wavy hair cascade down shoulders. The cherry polka dot mod style bikini reflected perfectly against her flawless skin, & her curves made heads everywhere turn. I’m not sure wether it was her full hips swaying with every step she took or the black cat-eye sunglasses overshadowing her eyes that made me feel horribly impotent. It was painfully silent & forlorn the way my heart sank to my feet.

Sooyoung gave a deviant half-smile once she reached me, lowering her sunglasses to meet eyes. “...What do you think? I didn’t know what bathing suit to chose but I just adore red.” She continued, “I bought it at Sears. Oh, & I already put my clothes at our spot.” My voice was caught somewhere in my dry throat, averting my eyes. _Why can’t I speak?_ Deciding she heard enough of the silence, & her smile disappeared. “You don’t like it?” Sooyoung bit down her lip, “I can change &—”

“No, no!” I broke in quickly, bringing my hands to her arms. “I think....you look gorgeous. Really! Don’t change anything please.” 

“Glad you like it! But you....” Sooyoung’s eyes traveled down to my waist with a grin. “Stunning, as always.” She continued, watching me drop hands from her arms. And Sooyoung pushed her sunglasses up before sticking her right arm out. “Onwards, my date.” I finally smiled back as we locked arms ignoring strange stares, knowing my skin has already turned red. We both headed to the little space we set up in the middle, getting a clear view of the ocean’s mystery. 

We both got under a large umbrella Sooyoung had stuck into the sand. And somehow, the sound of the crashing waves against the shore brought me a form of comfort. Sooyoung softly spoke up in between the silence, “I asked you out because I want to know more about you, outside of the workplace. And I feel desperately compelled to, Cerise. I hope it isn’t strange.” 

I couldn’t believe a woman of her esteem was interested in me. “It’s not strange. I actually...” Clearing my throat, I shyly smiled at her, “I want to know more about you too. Where you’re from, how has life treated you, those important to you in your life. I wanna know all about it, if that’s okay with you.” 

Sooyoung was glad to know we shared mutual thoughts, & picked up a picnic basket from her side. I quietly watched her as she opened it at the top & handed me a homemade sandwich. She took one out for herself before setting it aside. 

“I’m Cerise Adeline Hayes. I come from a conventional family.” I started, unwrapping my sandwich. “Dad is as American as they come, mom French. I was born in Oregeon but my parents decided to move for reasons unknown. It was either here or my mom demanded France! Daring isn’t she? My French wasn’t really good for an 8 year old — would be a _far_ stretch to say decent — I’m glad they both decided California. My dad had to put up with a lot of my mom’s insisting requests.” I laughed it off, trying to bury the bittersweet memories. “...But enough of the boring history, child me wasn’t interesting.”

“Don’t say that, angel. I’m sure you were very interesting—& are!” Sooyoung laughed at my honest thoughts. “...Then, maybe you’d like to share what’s your favorite color?”

I grinned, “Blue! It’s the color of the sky on sunny days, blueberries are my favorite berry, jeans are typically blue, & everything pleasant.”

“And what’s your favorite song?” Sooyoung continued as she took a bite from her sandwich.

“Reach for the Stars by Shirley Bassey.” I sighed in a content manner, replaying the song’s instrumentals in my mind. “I like it _almost_ as much as watching The Partridge Family. It’s so beautiful....”

Sooyoung sounded surprised by my answer. “You have good taste in music.” 

“T—thanks.” A part of me felt ecstatic Sooyoung was interested in knowing about me. And I’d be willing to tell her anything & everything, in exchange for her to do the same. But would she? “And what about you, Sooyoung? What’s your favorite song, one that gives you hope even in the darkest of times?” 

And perhaps I landed in a hazy dream, because I didn’t want to leave. We spent endlessly sharing what we know about ourselves amidst the soulful laughs & crashing of the waves. From films, childhood memories to food we thought about trying; in between sips of glass bottles fizzed in Nehi soda, I realized Sooyoung easily allowed me to forget the way other’s perceived me.

She seemed particularly interested in the fact that I’m a majorette at school. I didn’t think much of it, but I will admit I made popular friends in being one. Casually mentioning I usually practiced spinning with a baton on my front lawn during sports season, I could see her eyes shift in interest. She wanted me to tell her more about it as she took last sips of her soda.

“When we have a game at our school,” I tried not to smile at the thought but failed. “On occasion my mom & Sehun go. I’m pretty sure he does to see me make a mistake & tease me about it but I don’t care. I’m grateful I have some support, it means the world to me.”

Sooyoung crossed her arms, “Maybe I can go sometime & cheer you on?” I smiled with a short nod, although a part of me knew I would mess up completely knowing she was in the crowd.

In a sheer act of boldness, I stood up letting the sun hit me. Sooyoung peeked from under the colorful umbrella, wondering why I had done so. “Let’s go for a swim!” I brightly insisted, bending down to tug her hand. “Come on!” Sooyoung laughed at my excitement & couldn’t refuse. She took my hand in her’s, standing beside me as we took off our sandals. Holding my hand tightly, we ran across the sand jumping into the water.

It was divine; submerging into the cold water, washing away all intrusive thoughts I’ve ever had. My eyes were closed, afraid to open them underwater. It wasn’t long until I felt a tap on my arm. I squinted, among the blurry lines able to see Sooyoung. Her eyes were crescent-shaped with a wide grin on her face. I couldn’t help but smile at the bubbles leaving the corners of her lips. She gently grabbed my sides before spinning me in a playful manner. I closed my eyes shut as my heart began to drum against my chest.

Sooyoung’s lips pressed onto mine while she cupped my reddened face. My thoughts grew hazy the more I tried to not lose my senses to her touch. I could feel my knees shake & the pit of my stomach awaken lazy butterflies the more she leaned closer. All my life I’ve been told in books, movies, & by friends what a kiss felt like, yet I didn’t know it would be this much of a distinctive sacrilege. I wasn’t sure what to call it, but this feeling digging at my chest made me want to stay like this with her forever. It happened so fast but the timing was perfect, like water on glass.

Bringing us back to the blue surface, we both caught our breaths beneath the scorching sun. I could feel Sooyoung’s stare all over me as I panted heavily. After regaining my breath, I timidly looked up at her, only to find smeared lipstick under an unreadable florid face. Her fiery red hair — wet & slicked back — casted gorgeously under the sun, while the droplets on her skin trickled down, down, down. And in just one glance she snaked her way to me & without a word, planting another kiss on my trembling lips. This time she parted my lips with her’s in slight force, & I vaguely tasted grape soda on her.

Sooyoung kept her closeness to me even as she broke the kiss with ease. “...I can be greedy.” She finally said in silence, brushing her thumb against my reddened cheek. Another blood-red smile graced Sooyoung’s smeared mouth, & I knew I had been marked at two in the afternoon.

𖠳

Walking back to our spot decorated by a large umbrella in the sand, Sooyoung held my hand all the way there. I listened to her as she told me she’d try her best to control herself from kissing me. I wanted to laugh, but catching unusual glares from people afar stopped me. They seemed uninviting & I almost wanted to hide far, far away. But instead of letting them get the best of me, I tightened my grip on Sooyoung’s hand as a sign of reassurance; I wouldn’t let them ruin this special day for us.

After slinging a green towel over my shoulders, Sooyoung came up with a suggestion I wouldn’t be able to refuse. “Wanna get some ice cream, angel?” I smiled at her, more than ready to cool off with a sweet delight. My heart jumped inside me as I felt Sooyoung clean my mouth with her towel gentle as can be. She did the same to her mouth, wiping it bare. Throwing her towel over her own figure, we decided to walk barefoot to the ice cream stand.

We waited in line, playfully bickering over which ice cream flavor is the best. Sooyoung argued it was strawberry, but I had to respectfully disagree. “Chocolate exists, Sooyoung.” I rolled my eyes followed by a short laugh, “Why do you think it’s so popular? Because chocolate is the _best_ flavor out there & I don’t wanna hear it.” She whined over my shoulder, suddenly giving me a hug. I felt the heat rush to my face as I dug my face into her arm, completely embarrassed by her actions.

I got two scoops of chocolate ice cream on my cone while Sooyoung ordered strawberry. Just as we began to run over to the sand thanks to the pavement burning our feet, we both turned out heads towards the direction of the waves. “Sooyoung! Sooyoung!” An unfamiliar voice shouted across from us. I was clueless as to who this was, but two slim figures ran towards us. And I was surprised to see vivid foreign faces.

Sooyoung introduced me to her friends happily. The short one with blonde hair smiled, sticking her hand out to shake mine. I returned the gesture, admiring her youthful appearance & dangling little grapes on her ears. Her name was Yerim, she seemed kind judging by the way she spoke. The woman beside her also smiled at me, yet something felt off about her. Her name was Seungwan but she said calling her Wendy would be best. I stared at this Wendy, feeling something tug at my throat. Her hair was a gorgeous ombré in brown-blonde; it struck against the harsh sun & could easily catch anyone’s attention. She stood quiet, keeping her dark eyes glued on Sooyoung at all times. I couldn’t help but notice the intensity of her stare.

“Oh hey, I remember where I saw you.” Yerim snapped her fingers & pointed at me with a smile. “You’re the girl from the changing stall! Yeah, the one with the black mary janes.”

I laughed awkwardly, “Yeah, that was me.”

“What’s this?” Sooyoung leaned closely beside me, “I’m getting a little jealous.” I felt her nudge on my shoulder & I shook my head with a smile. “We’ve go to go now, our ice cream is melting & it won’t ruin our date now.”

_“Date??”_ The two women asked in unison, shock written on their faces.

“What other way would I court my darling Cerise?” Sooyoung chirped, “Words c _ouldn’t_ suffice.” Upon hearing her words I felt my heart beat against my chest, _she’s brutally honest._ She gave me one daring look before exchanging goodbyes with her friends. We watched them turn their backs & run towards the shoreline.

I was curious about Wendy & the way she stood beside Yerim without saying much other than a word or two. My curious senses began to wonder, as I glanced over at Sooyoung who looked indifferent by the encounter. They are her friends after all. I licked my ice cream, pondering how to bring it up to Sooyoung. But the answer was easy as apple pie — simply just ask.

Sooyoung looked over at me when I asked, lowering her ice cream cone from her lips. She cleared her throat, slowing her walk. “...We went on a few dates before.”

“Oh.” I muttered, taking a bite off my chocolate ice cream.

“But don’t get it wrong,” Sooyoung calmly said, “I _only_ agreed because I didn’t know how to reject a close friend.”

“May I ask when was this?”

“Two years ago.” She responded, “I broke it off after I had the courage to tell her I had no feelings for her. We both agreed to stay friends, nothing more.” Sooyoung stopped in her tracks & turned to me, “...I hope this doesn’t ruin our date.”

I sheepishly smiled, trying to hide the fact that this new information hung over my head. I oddly felt like a dog being taunted with a treat just above it’s nose. But it wasn’t Sooyoung’s fault at all. “N—no it—”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Sooyoung’s voice faltered, “I can tell by your face. If you want I will cut off all ties with her.”

“It’s fine, really.” I reassured her, “I’m glad you were honest about it. And no cutting off ties with anyone, please.”

“If that’s what you want....I _never_ kissed her by the way, angel.” She mentioned, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. We both continued walking, “Never ever ever.”

“I think I get the idea.” I laughed, watching her worried face shift into a relaxed once again. And somehow we got into the conversation of dating — _how appropriate._ Sooyoung told me she hasn’t dated in the past two years after Wendy to focus on her work completely, but couldn’t let me pass by her so easily. The way she explained how I made her feel brought a smile to my face.

“I’ve never dated until now.” I confessed, taking a seat under the large umbrella beside Sooyoung. “I know it’s embarrassing.”

“Not at all!” Sooyoung broke in, “I feel honored. I just can’t believe there weren’t people lined up at school to ask you out?”

“That wouldn’t happen to me unless I gained supernatural popularity overnight.” I replied, “And while I did have a few boys take interest in me, I always rejected them gently. I felt nothing for them....it’s not like I tried.”

It caught me off guard when she mentioned first encountering the feelings of having a crush in middle school. She liked a quiet girl who rarely spoke. She enjoyed writing stories & came from a wealthy family. “It was strange for me, I believed it could’ve been anything but a crush. Because a girl having a crush on a girl didn’t seem normal. It was what I have always been taught.” Sooyoung lightly laughed, “Throughout middle school I forced myself to like boys but it didn’t feel right. Then I got to high school & finally came to terms that I didn’t like them. I had no response to males. Like, at _all_. Zero.” She smiled at me, “I’ll never get to play girl to your boy, society. And I _fucking_ I love that.”

The sparks lit up in my eyes upon hearing her soft voice coat in assurance. For Sooyoung to voice something personal — so highly frowned upon by society — with such dignity & poise, I grew speechless. Where did she gain this courage? I’ve never met someone like her; someone who isn’t afraid to say what they think. I suddenly leaned against her, shifting my view onto the ocean ahead.

𖠳

For a few more hours we laid in the sand, conversing to our hearts content. Sooyoung wrapped me in hers arms like a baby as I counted the seagulls flocking into the sun’s direction. Feeling her finger’s stroke my hair delicately until I found it hard to keep my eyes open put me into a dazy state. The only feeling I knew was tranquility.

But, it brought me sorrow watching the sunset & people get up from their folding chairs to leave. Soon enough it was time for us to leave too, & our first date would officially end.

Under the orange-red sky we packed everything inside the trunk of Sooyoung’s Mercury singing songs. But with a sigh, we both washed our bodies in stalls next to each other before changing into regular clothes. I was thankful Sooyoung gave me her sweater, slinging it across my shoulders. I smiled, thinking how much it had remnants of her scent. As we both stood on the now empty parking lot Sooyoung reached out to me, keeping me close by a warm embrace. For a silent moment, we admired the sunset painted in a fired sky. Sooyoung quietly said it reminded her of a painting.

“I wish we could stay here forever.” I mumbled, earning a soft laugh from Sooyoung.

“Maybe someday.” After that finally reply, we both walked towards her car in slow steps.

On the radio Billie Holliday played while Sooyoung tapped her nails on the wheel as she hummed. I leaned against the passengers seat, tracing figures of clouds on the half-rollled up window. Today was a day I would never forget, even in a million years. I looked up at the sky capturing it’s ember-like hues inside my mind, hoping I’d dream of it tonight.

[***](https://youtu.be/UYKytdfQ8yo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine this: Joy a (radical) feminist in the early 1970s. Such a serve.


	11. time ഒ

**[3rd]**

Empty glass Coke bottles lined up on a row of crates in the middle of Baekhyun’s front lawn. A quiet ambience filled the air & if listened closely enough, you could hear the sound of the wind softly blow. The place was impressively drenched in greenery such as tulips, roses, willow & orchid trees scattered around freshly trimmed grass. The guests who’d visit on occasion wondered why the man would keep such a beautiful yard enclosed in bricks & tall gates, all for himself.

Jongin, who sat underneath a shady willow tree on a wooden bench observed his friend intently. Dressed in a red oversized button up with bandana patterns & ripped jeans, Sehun calmly rolled up his sleeves just below his elbow. Picking up his prized model 34 Remington from the ground, he paused his breath to admire the barrel he hadn’t touched in weeks. He vividly remembered when he first laid eyes on it; recently 22 without his parents & no experience in firearms at a gun show seemed to wield some strange determination in his thoughts. _What better way to toughen up?_ He bought the 1930’s rifle in good condition for 120 cash, then began practicing on the outskirts of town in the woods for months on end. In the beginning Sehun’s targets were squirrels & birds but he felt remorseful about killing animals that had nothing to do with his ambition. He brought his own used bottles & cans to use them as targets.

Sehun stood about 60 yards away from the crates where his targets were. The man took a breath as he lifted the loaded rifle in his hands with ease. Flipping the safety lever on the right side with his thumb, he furrowed his brows in concentration. Sehun lifted up the brass bolt to cock it back & in place, ready to shoot. “There’s 15 rounds so it should be fine...” He said to himself, pushing forward the bolt & hearing the chamber click with a push down. As he tilted his head slightly against it’s stock, Sehun closed one eye & finally settled his finger on the trigger.

Jongin didn’t flinch at the echoing sound of a bullet, nor how his friend loudly cheered as he broke his glass target into pieces. Disinterested, he continued spectating Sehun pull the bolt of his rifle up & back as an empty shell fell out, hearing a round load again. It wasn’t a surprise Sehun didn’t miss a single shot considering he did this frequently. It was sort of his idea of fun. However, Jongin had other ideas that wouldn’t quite interest his friend. He silently watched Sehun take a seat beside him, catching his pleased demeanor.

“You should try it.” Sehun replied, setting the Remington between his legs. “It’s more fun than it looks.”

“I always knew you were fucking weird.” He said as he crossed his legs. Jongin continued with a certain hint of amusement, “I bet besides your wet dreams of Cerise, you always get off on this shit. Makes your dick hard just by the thought of a gun.”

“Fuck off.” Sehun brushed off his friend’s taunting remarks, “Why don’t you just admit I look cool & you wanna give me head, like everyone else.”

Jongin thought how better it would be than watching a useless act. And it certainly beats what other ideas he had in mind.“You looked so cool & I want to suck your dick s—”

Sehun interrupted, unable to suppress his laughter. “I’ll take you up on that. I’m still gonna practice my range, maybe after I’m done.” He felt Jongin’s eyes on him as he pulled something from under the wooden bench. His jaw fell agape at the sight of an old box.; from daggers, switchblades, karambits, rounds of .22s, & others Jongin peered over his friend with interest.

Sehun mumbled to himself as he stuck his hand in the box, pushing away the blades. The younger was too busy to notice Jongin eye his pale hands covered in welts, wondering where he’d gotten them. Jongin remembered he recently bought a shotgun & sawed the barrel off, coming to a conclusion of his own. Hearing silence from his friend’s end, Sehun looked over once he collected 8 new rounds & threw them in his shirt’s front pocket.

“I like it rough.” Sehun shrugged as he got up from his seat, picking up his Remington in one hand. He turned to Jongin before getting back to practice & asked one last time. “...Are you gonna join me or what?”

𖠳

Jongin cleaned his mouth with his hands before the restroom’s mirror. His face became redder noticing how much of a mess his appearance was. Hearing Sehun pull up the zipper of his jeans, Jongin turned around as his friend walked towards him. He caught the man smile, bringing up a finger to wipe a spot he missed. “I find it funny how you always get on your knees & whine, opening your whore mouth for my cum.” Sehun muttered before sticking his finger in between Jongin’s lips. “It’s the only thing a fuck-face like you is good for.”

He watched Sehun laugh lightly before pulling out of his shirt a folded gum wrapper. Without thinking much of it, Jongin continued to clean his disheveled face under the flickering restroom lights of the ice cream parlor. Hearing Sehun suck up Speed like a vanilla icee was beginning to make the man angry nothing was being offered to him. “Pass some over, shit.” Jongin pressed, crossing his arms as he leaned his back against the sink. Sehun lifted up his head, staring at his friend momentarily before reaching out with the open gum wrapper in hand. After Jongin snatched the Speed from his hand, Sehun winced feeling the drug settle in inside with a groan. He shook the feeling off quickly, walking over towards the restroom door. “Was I good?” Jongin asked, observing a smile resurface on Sehun’s face as he stopped in his tracks.

“Pretty good.” He replied, hand already on the knob.

Jongin nodded, “And who did you imagine sucking you off while I did?” He couldn’t deny the self-gratification he earned watching Sehun’s smile disappear. In the middle of the silence, Sehun gave the middle finger before leaving Jongin alone in the dingy restroom.

Once he was done getting his fix, he stood there for a few minutes & left the restroom. Jongin slowed his walking to find Sehun in the front counter ordering a root beer float for himself. Taking a seat beside him, he whistled for the employee & ordered his own chocolate sundae on Sehun’s tab. Jongin listened to his friend talk about his new Dodge Charger as they waited for their order. Few lights lit up in his eyes as he spoke about the technicalities that made the car his favorite. Jongin was too embarrassed to admit he didn’t understand a single word Sehun was professing but kept his mouth shut. _Speak to me in words I can fucking understand damnit_ , Jongin uttered in his thoughts, eyeing Sehun’s lips move. “Yeah, yeah. That’s cool.” Jongin broke in between bites of his sundae.

The parlor had the usual ambience during afternoons — boisterous & filled with superficial talk by all ages. When the teenagers came it was a turnabout like no other; most hung out at the ice cream parlor to take a break from the swimming & gossiping they soaked in at the local pool. Patsy Cline’s I Fall to Pieces played on the radio like a dim serenade as the teenagers engaged in their summer romancing. And while they did, the two men began to suppress their irritation at the rowdiness the flock of teens ensued. Sehun turned his face hearing the entrance door push open & felt the anger disappear. His impassive eyes met with Cerise’s for a second before catching her cheery smile, widening each step she took.

The little ribbons in her hair flowed by the cold breeze, & the gingham dress reaching above her knees threatened to rise further. Pulling the end of her dress down with her fingertips, the young girl casted her eyes onto the socks her mother sown the lace frill to. Taking her rosy time, Cerise walked towards the men with a smile. She took a seat beside Sehun, leaning her arms flat against the red counter. Cerise tilted her head to see Jongin & greet him.

“Sunday Mass finished.” Cerise started, trailing her eyes to the silver cross that hung on his chest, “And it was...interesting. Not to mention the drowsiness I felt halfway through.” She played with her hands while an employee came up to her & jot down what she wanted. Cerise thanked the employee, realizing he would give her the Strawberry sherbet on the house. After he walked away, the girl looked over to Sehun. “Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got...n...nice eyes?” Plastering a smile, she went on. “You inherited your dad’s crazy eyes, you know that?” Cerise didn’t turn when the ice cream was set in front of her, even when the employee stuck the spoon in it. “And though you smell bad most of the time, isn’t that something the ladies like? While I do think it’s gross, m—”

Sehun rolled his eyes at her feeble attempt to give a decent word about him. “There’s only one reason why you’d kiss my ass & it’s ‘cause you want something.” He leaned against the counter before meeting her eyes. “What is it.”

“...H—here goes nothing...” She mumbled in defeat, seeing Jongin lean against the counter as well to spectate the conversation. “Sooyoung is going to have her art showcased in a exhibition across town. You’re the only one I know who has a car besides my mom....And I don’t want to be in Sooyoung’s way, it’s going to be an important day for her.” Looking up at his eyes, cleared her throat, “...S—so I need you to go with me.”

It took a moment for Sehun to process her words, scoffing & closing his eyes shut for a moment. “...You want _me_...to go with you to _this_ thing?” He asked, earning a quick nod. The man lifted up a brow, still in disbelief.

“Please, Sehun.” Cerise whined, “Pretty please with a cherry on top! Just do this one favor for me—”

“Favor?” Sehun grew baffled. “You _still_ owe me from last time. I can’t even go back to that bookstore anymore. Ever since I bought those fucking girly magazines for you the cashier gives me nasty looks. He probably thinks I jerk off to little girls or something...”

“Come on. Please,” Cerise begged as she pulled on his rolled-up sleeve, “I’ll do _anything_ you want. Anything!” The teen noticed she caught Sehun’s attention almost immediately. And his brows raised at her desperate commitment to all of this. Cerise reaffirmed, “Anything you name, I’ll do it.”

Sehun became quiet in his seat, pondering at the posibilites to her answer. He began thinking of ways to degrade Cerise if he accepted. The man stared at the girl’s big hazel eyes & weary expression she wore on her face. And while he was too busy thinking about it, Jongin couldn’t take the silence any longer. He leaned over Sehun’s shoulder, & with amusement radiating from his voice he told Cerise, “He wants to know if you spit or swallow.”

The man mischievously butting in surely caught her off guard; her confused eyes met with his. Cerise hesitated, unsure of what he meant. “...Whatever is fine.”

Jongin shifted in his seat, oddly enjoying this public display like it was a form of entertainment. He could already tell Sehun was finding far from funny as his skin flushed, & decided to push things further. “I’m sure Sehun here will do it if you give him head. You gotta do a _spectacular_ job though, think you can do it?” He suddenly jumped in his seat, hearing the girl excitedly clasp her hands against each other while she agreed.

Sehun furrowed his brows as he crossed his arms. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Not a clue.” Cerise admitted, watching his face turn rubescent. “But just explain it once & I’m sure I’ll get whatever it is. Can’t be that hard, can it?” She noticed Sehun sigh deeply as he palmed half of his face & muttered profanities under his breath. Confusion clearly written on her face, the teen looked past his shoulders & questioned why Jongin wouldn’t stop his laughter.

“You’re...not gonna do that.” Sehun finally said, “And for the love of God, don’t listen to anything Jongin says.”

Cerise’s shoulders dropped as she turned to face her half-melted strawberry sherbet, beginning to pick at it with her spoon. Her ears perked, hearing Sehun say he’ll think about & in between taking spoonfuls of ice cream she sighed. The girl explained she wants an answer by today & emphasized the need to be there, no matter what for Sooyoung. Sehun could recognize her tone of voice change serious mentioning the woman. Pushing the glass away & jumping off the stool, Cerise pulled her dress down. “The offer still stands, I will do whatever you want. Wash your car, do the laundry, both or you can spend an hour throwing cheap insults at my face, doesn’t matter.” Watching his face trying to suppress the need to smile made her grin, “And you can have the sherbet, it’s too sweet for me anyway.” With that, they exchanged goodbyes & Sehun watched her turn on her black mary janes.

“I saw what you did.” Jongin said to his friend as they both watched her walk away. He heard Sehun scoff & grinned without saying a word. “You’re gonna say yes, why make her wait?”

Sehun slid the strawberry sherbet to his side & used the spoon she did to taste it. “It’s just, something about Cerise begging brings me a lot of satisfaction.” He leaned against the counter, licking ice cream off the spoon. “Maybe I should make her my dog for a week. A collar around her neck would do some good considering all the shit she puts me through.”

“Sickening.” Jongin confessed, hoping he wouldn’t go traumatizing the girl.

“The brat knows humiliation is part of the process.” He mumbled, taking another spoonful of the sherbet. “Didn’t she look cute in that dumb-fuck dress?”

𖠳

The late night drive to Cerise’s was slow. Sehun was in the rare mood to take his sweet time, lowering the Deep Purple song on the radio. Fumbling with the Parliament in between his lips, the man listened to rustling of the palm trees as he passed by. He kept one hand on the wheel while the other hung from the rolled down window feeling the night breeze against his skin. The shadows of the trees casted onto the streets with every turn Sehun took.

The man stood tall beside his car while he dropped the Parliament, crushing it with his shoe. Sehun soaked in the silence for a moment before jumping over the iron gate to Cerise’s lawn. He shifted on his knees forward to pick up a small handful of rocks. Growing vigilant, Sehun’s eyes darted around him to only find the dead-quiet of his surroundings.

Throwing the rocks inside his shirt pocket, he climbed up a tree that paralleled Cerise’s window. Figuring he’s done this before, the man didn’t break a a sweat as he sat on a sturdy bough, dusting off his hands. Sehun found the teen’s window closed, but the curtain was still open; he leaned & squinted to get a better look inside but had no luck. The room wasn’t very dark as he could see some dim light from a lamp in a corner. It was abrupt the way Sehun held in his breath when the girl gradually came into view. Her back faced him while she slowly paced in her room lost in thought.

Cerise jolted when she heard something hit her window. Barefoot, the teen sighed when she met eyes with Sehun. ‘Let me in’ he mouthed, threatening to throw more rocks. She held in the need to roll her eyes while unlatching the window & pushing it up. Cerise stood in place, arms crossed as she watched him cautiously come into her room feet first.

Sehun couldn’t help but taunt the way she looked. He didn’t notice her glare as he observed the lilac flower nightdress reaching her ankles, & her russet hair was slightly untidy. “Sorry I didn’t drop by earlier,” he started, “I was _awfully_ busy.” The man passed her, looking around the dimly lit room. He took in the familiar homey smell through his nose, & eyes trailed over to the pale pink walls.

“A call would have sufficed.” Cerise muttered, catching Sehun kick off his Chucks beside her bed. “What are you doing?”

“Resting.” He replied, sitting down on her bed. He felt the soft bed quilt under his hand before laying down.

Cerise grimaced before laying down beside him. The girl knew what he was doing, & wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction he easily wanted. Fidgeting her fingers, they both stared at the white ceiling in silence. “...I couldn’t fall asleep to tell you the truth.”

“It’s barely 10:35.” He put one leg over the other. “Miss me that much?”

Cerise rolled her eyes, “Sooyoung is going to have dinner with us tomorrow. I’ve been tossing & turning for the past 30 minutes thinking about it.”

“Really?” Sehun asked, a little surprised by the revelation. “When did that happen?”

“Today we met her at church. Before we parted ways, my mom asked Sooyoung over for dinner.” Cerise shut her eyes, “I still don’t understand why mom did that. It’s not like we have many visitors over for dinner, why now?” She now crossed her arms, eyes blankly glued onto the ceiling once again. “She’s always too nice.”

Sehun couldn’t understand why Cerise was acting impetuous. He knew the red-haired woman meant a lot to her, it surely explained why she was excited earlier today. _Why the sudden change of heart?_ But, Sooyoung gone would restore the peace in their lives. “Want me to kill her?” Sehun turned to face her, meeting eyes with the girl. “I’ll kill her for you, Cerise.”

She laughed, “Good one.”

Sehun turned away in inevitable disappointment. He thought how darling she was for thinking he was joking, when in reality he wasn’t. “...You’re nervous.” He spoke up, “Just calm down & everything’s gonna be okay.” In return she agreed, a little relieved by his words. After a second passing, Sehun felt the need to get something in off his chest. “She doesn’t look like a Catholic to me.”

“Look _who’s_ talking.” Cerise grew defensive & gave him a stare, “I think you’re far from being a Christian but here _we_ are.”

“There you go, defending her out of all things though you discouraged of her being here tomorrow. Make up your goddamn mind.” Sehun replied scornfully, “And I’ve joined the 700 club, I’m _very_ Christian. What would you fucking know?”

“W—what? I’m only doing so because she’s not here to do it herself...” Cerise lied as she sunk into her bed. The teen mocked him in her thoughts, knowing he’s used the religious pamphlets shoved in his mailbox as plates for drugs.

Sehun derided at her words, “Man if she was here I’d fight her.”

“A fight would be totally uncalled for. She’s a poised, elegant woman. She’d _never_ fight you.” Cerise furrowed her brows at his ridiculousness. “Are you 10?”

The man laughed hearing the words ‘poised’ & ‘elegant’ to describe Sooyoung. He thought she was far from such things & she wouldn’t ever be able to see it. “Cerise, you are so innocent, _so_ clueless. That Sooyoung is not a woman, she’s the wicked witch of the west.” 

Cerise crossed her arms, & sighed. “Take that back.”

“Hmm, lemme think about it...” Sehun paused, “No.”

“Take it back or else.” The girl pressed. She didn’t appreciate him making a mockery of someone she admired greatly.

“And what if I don’t, huh? What are you gonna do?” Sehun continued, “Make your dolls stand up in pews to attack me? I don’t care, she’s a fucking witch & I’ll say it again.” Cerise wore an unreadable expression & let the sharp silence linger in the air. It didn’t take long for Sehun to uncomfortably shift in his spot, feeling her stare all over him. The girl began to make her way to his side, closing the gap between them until hitting his shoulder & Sehun jerked. _Don’t touch me.....Don’t fucking touch me._ The man breathed out, darting his eyes towards the cross pinned over her bed on the wall. He quickly back-tracked, avoiding the way Cerise turned on her right side.

“Should’ve thought about that before entering a girl’s room.” She lowered her voice, “For a man, you’d have to be another level of depraved to do such a thing.” She rested her jaw on his shoulders, more than happy to watch Sehun avoid her eyes & squirm. “But it’s fine because you’re different from the rest, right?” She watched him bolt up quickly, thinking he was fed up with how she twiddled his sleeve.

Subtly trying to regain his breath, Sehun leaned forward making sure his chest was still intact with one hand. He wouldn’t dare face the girl, feeling his ruddy face burn. The man would rather die than letting a teenager push him around whenever with a touch. What haunted him most of all was Cerise probably knew, & wasn’t aware to the extent she could sway him. He then swore he could smell the pathetic cynicism reek off his blood. Sehun abruptly laughed in the middle of his paranoia when Cerise asked who he was afraid of, as she sat cross-crossed. “You in _that_ thing. Where are we, Little House On The Prairie?”

With both hands, Cerise used her anger as fuel to push him off the edge forcefully. She didn’t wince hearing a loud thump on the floor beside her bed. Instead she crossed her arms & stuck out her head, enjoying the view of a pained Sehun. She smiled while he groaned & massaged his side from the ache.

He replied in a mutter, “Landing on my ass would have been better—”

“Cerise?” The pair grew silent, intently hearing Cerise’s mother from downstairs in an uncertain yell. And she did so again, her muffled voice getting louder. “...Cerise..!” They looked at each other for a moment, panic written on their faces as the sounds of footsteps approached up the stairs.

“Get up, get up!” Cerise whispered, jumping off her bed hurriedly. She purposefully tossed the quilt around to make it look unmade, & kicked Sehun’s shoes under her bed far from sight. “Hurry!!”

“What the fuck.” He whispered back, standing up from the carpet. “Why is your mom still awake?”

“She watches The Dick Cavett Show.” Cerise murmured while pushing his back. “It went completely over my head...!”

Sehun nodded, feeling the girl’s hands guide him across the room. He was easily distracted by the fact that her mom watched late night T.V. like he did. “Hey, I remember one episode where Lily Tomlin walked ou—”

“Get in.” Cerise demanded, sliding open her closet door.

Sehun crossed his arms with a sigh, “I’ve been in there for many, many years...Don’t make me go back in.” He tried his best to not laugh considering the situation, but would admit it was hilarious watching her perplexed reaction. “...Think I’d fit?”

Cerise rolled her eyes, “I don’t know if your _ego_ would but we could give it a try.” Ushering him with a gesture, she froze once her mother’s worried voice interrupted, now knocking on the door. “Hurry...!” The girl whispered hastily, waiting for him to sit on the floor. Sehun wasn’t able to utter another word in as she closed the closet shut & he settled in the dark.

Bringing his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his legs hearing the room door slowly creak open. Although anxious for Cerise’s mother to go away, Sehun’s mind grew preoccupied with the scent radiating off her hanged garments. It reminded him of the way a baby might smell, filling the cramped space in hinderance the more he thought about it. Sehun disliked that not only the fragrance was a means of deflection, but hems of the girl’s dresses were beginning to prickle his head & face. He stopped his complaints hearing the voice of Cerise’s mother indistinctly through the closet door. Sehun leaned lightly against it, trying to get a better listen without making a sound.

“Cerise honey, what is going on?” Cerise’s mother asked in her thick accent, adjusting her glasses.

“Nothing, mother. I just had this...horrible nightmare in the middle of my sleep.” The teen nervously smiled. She forced a small yawn before talking & rubbing her eyes. “...I dreamt about...these huge babies attacking our town or something. Next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor.”

“Babies?” Her mother repeated, albeit concerned for her daughter. “I see...”

“Babies or chickens,” Cerise shrugged, “I don’t remember exactly what but it wasn’t pleasant.” She watched her mother’s eyes look past her shoulders & lean to inspect the room from where she was standing. The girl declined her mother’s offer to get a glass of water downstairs, wanting to get rid of the antsy feeling.

“Alright.” Giving one last look around, the woman focused back to her daughter. “Go back to sleep Cerise, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.” She lightly smiled, as her daughter did too. “And please close that window. I know it’s summer but we can’t afford a mishap.”

Cerise weakly laughed at the irony. “You’re right mother. I will do that now.” She returned the tight hug her mother gave, relieved it was over. The girl closed the door shut once they exchanged a _‘dors bien’_ to each other. Cerise’s emotional stability had turned relentless as she fought to keep her eyes open, dragging herself towards her bed. And with a deep sigh she fell onto it, hearing the closet door open. “Just tell me...” The girl softly said, hearing the man near. “Tell me already.”

“Fine.” Sehun laid beside her once again, both gazing at the ceiling. “I’ll take you up on that offer of yours. And know I’m only doing it because it means I get to show off my car.” He replied, twitching when he felt Cerise’s hand on his arm. She mumbled an endless string of ‘thank you’ as she closed her eyes to taste victory. He didn’t appreciate her grabbing a fistful of his sleeve with a tightening grip, but turned his face to see how glad she was. “Don’t you wanna know what I want you to do?”

“God no,” Cerise muttered, shaking her head. “Not right now. Don’t _ruin_ this moment for me.” She groaned, hearing him let out a small laugh. “Sooyoung actually told me about the exhibition today & I was just caught off guard by the one week notice.”

“She moves quick.” Sehun hated to admit. “But now you’ve got _me_....Actually, you’ve always got me on your side. I just like playing mind games with you, gotta keep you on your toes.” He watched the way Cerise looked up at him to narrow her restless eyes.

[***](https://youtu.be/pgXozIma-Oc)


	12. girl ഒ

**[3rd]**

Scattered boxes filled with rusted antiques, old records, & dirty German bisque dolls were sitting in the living room. Each box had something written on the side in marker to distinguish what they were for. Cerise’s mother squinted, adjusting her glasses as she tried to see if the bracket clock in hand functioned properly. In the end she sighed, placing the clock in the ‘antique’ box. Hearing her daughter waltz down the stairs in a sing-song voice, she turned around to find her daughter with a wide smile. Cerise hugged the box in between her arms, watching her every step. Her mother, curious as to why the box was already enclosed, asked about it.

“I was unsure of what to do with my Parian dolls Alice & Jo. We are summer cleaning & I don’t have much shelf space left, so I thought I’d gift them to Sooyoung.” Cerise suppressed her excitement instinctively, setting down the box on the living room carpet. Her eyes met her mother’s as she continued, “Isn’t that a great idea? I’d never want to throw them away & I’m sure she’ll take care of them both. Don’t you think so, mother?”

“Suppose so, honey.” Her mother smiled back at her, then went over the mantel to pick up a rusted bronze horse. “Why is this here?”

“Aunt gave that to us during Christmas. You don’t remember?” Cerise replied, walking over to her side & taking a glance at it, “It’s rather....unique...”

“It looks fairly old & useless to be frank. Who’d need this ugly thing?” Cerise’s mother laughed upon hearing her daughter gasp at her bluntness. Looking over to Cerise, she asked in her thick accent, “Which aunt?”

The girl thought about it, digging through her brain to remember the past Christmases. Furrowing her brows, she answered nonchalantly. “I think Sylvie. She’s the one who cheated on her husband a few days before Christmas & at dinner everyone talked about it.” Cerise winced watching her mother drop the bronze horse into a box & moving on by dusting her hands together. She followed slowly behind, unsure of how to go about visiting next door. Although she did want to break away from summer cleaning an hour in, she wanted to see her neighbor more than anything. For a moment she mustered up the courage to ask while fumbling with her hands. “Mother, could I give the dolls to Sooyoung right now?”

_“Mon petit coeur,”_ her mother simply replied, picking some books she would most likely put in a box. “Not until we are done here.”

Cerise frowned in disappointment, _...Was worth a shot._ She found no use in pushing the matter & complied to her mother’s words. She walked over to one of the windows opened wide knowing summer cleaning wouldn’t be so easy. The teen dreaded over the fact that her mother was going dissect the entire house — from room to room — as she tied her dark hair up into a bun. _First was the living room, then will be the kitchen, & then my entire room...._Cerise sulked in place while playing with the ends of her two braids, mindlessly staring onto the sunny lawn where her bike was thrown on yesterday afternoon.

“Cerise, we still have more to go.” Her mother stopped her from dozing off by calling her once more. The girl snapped out of it, pulling up the ties that kept falling off her shoulders & trudged to the living room.

𖠳

Sooyoung was greatly stunned to catch a perspiring Cerise on her front door step, holding a medium-sized box to her chest with both hands. Her dark eyes glanced at the girl’s auburn pigtails hovering above her shoulders & moved to her starry eyes, rekindling Sooyoung’s strong belief for rosy-cheeked angels with a tight pang inside her chest.

Hearing Cerise’s serene voice, Sooyoung spread her lips into a smile, moving back in her burgundy clogs to let the teenager in. The woman quietly watched the girl set the box down & stretch saying a few words, caught in a daze again at the sight of the her. Cerise wore a red gingham shirred top that seemed too oversized for her, goes without saying the teen was naked underneath the thin fabric. And her high-waisted denim shorts were folded at the hems reaching her thighs, while she wore pink sandals. Sooyoung wanted to coo gently at the way the teen’s face turned rubescent under her stare & how cutely the big gaps in her clothes made her look.

Cerise pulled up the strap to loosely sit on her shoulder while grateful the cold air hit her body. “My mom decided to do summer cleaning today & donate stuff to the church. I—um, saved some of my things for you.” She grinned watching Sooyoung do so, & continued. “Although I really just wanted to see you.” Sooyoung watched the eager girl get on her knees in front of the box.

“I’ll keep anything you give me.” The woman calmly replied, unconsciously eyeing down Cerise’s top from where she stood. Sooyoung shifted in place & tilted her head when the girl leaned forward opening the box, stiffening as she witnessed a gratifying view of the girl’s exposed chest. _Heavenly._ She repeated a single word like an endless mantra inside her mind. _Heavenly._ Sooyoung felt weak inside her flared jeans thinking of Cerise being at the brink of her blooming youth. And that’s when it hit her right between the eyes: how deplorable she had to be, sneaking a look into the top of an innocent angel. Suddenly feeling shameful, Sooyoung bit down her lip before sitting cross-cross on the floor.

“This is Alice.” Cerise started, pulling the doll from the box & facing it towards Sooyoung in her hand. “I’ve had her since I was 13. My favorite thing about her is her blonde hair.” She continued, putting the doll down & bring out the other as a ribbon strap glided down her shoulder. “Here is Jo, I found her 2 years after Alice. She’s been used a little bit but is in decent condition for her age. They’re both Parian dolls so I made them a pair, see?”

Sooyoung listened intently as the girl explained the dolls had porcelain heads but their bodies were made of different materials. Judging by the way Cerise spoke about them, she knew they meant a lot to her & already had an idea of where to place them later that day. The woman smiled as Cerise stuck her hand into the box.

“Now, _this_ record is a life changer.” Cerise confidently stated, lifting an album carefully. “At first I didn’t like Pink Floyd but Sehun forced me to give them a try.” The girl smiled at the memory, handing the vinyl to Sooyoung. “He sat me down in his living room & played this from start to finish. I remember turning over to look at him & the only thing he said was ‘That’s good shit’. And I actually _agreed_ with him.” Cerise mentioned she had three vinyls of The Dark Side of the Moon & decided to give one to away. “The first one I got for myself. It’s the one I’m giving you. There’s a little heart in the corner here,” Cerise pointed at the heart in blue marker, “I put that to prove it’s mine, & I want you to have it.” The girl paused for a moment before continuing. “...Um, the other two were gifts.”

“I see.” Sooyoung taunted in a reply, smiling at the way Cerise shyly averted her glance. “I’ll be sure to take extra care of it. Thank you, angel.” They spent a few more minutes on the living room floor as Sooyoung lit up a lavender Sobranie cigarette. The older was pleasantly surprised to see Cerise give her two Ike & Tina Turner records. The woman gasped, explaining how much she used to listen to them in her sophomore college days. In hindsight, the simple act may have seemed minuscule on the surface, but to her it was more than that. It meant something she couldn’t quite understand herself yet & stared at the girl, blowing out smoke her lips.

The pair sat in the kitchen, the sunlight pushing it’s way through the window & tranquility to accompany them. Cerise looked around in the chair, content at how homey the house turned out to be. When she first stepped into the place it was empty; now it was a _different_ story. While the teen swung her legs & got lost inside her own world, Sooyoung flatly laid her hands on the wooden table. Without realizing it she thought how the skin on Cerise’s chest would feel, playing with the cigarette in between her lips. She observed the strap that loosely clung onto her shoulder for dear life, & then the other.

Cerise trailed over to a flimsy book, & took it in hand. She read the cover ‘Scum Manifesto by Valerie Solanas’ in her mind before flipping through it’s pages. She began to read a short excerpt to herself without much thought. _...In the mystical belief that by touching gold he’ll turn to gold, the male craves the continuous companionship of women. The company of the lowest female is preferable to his own or that of other men, who serve only to remind him of his repulsiveness._ She spoke up amidst the silence feeling a stare all over her, skimming through the book some more. “Want to see it?”

“...Sorry?” Sooyoung was taken aback by her words.

“I asked if you want to _see_ it.” Cerise repeated gently as she set the book down, “You know, my chest?” She watched the way Sooyoung became self-aware of her actions, her face glowing red as she took the Sobranie from her lips. “H—Hyesun told me when two people are dating they do it....And, we are dating.”

“We are.” Sooyoung followed, crushing the cigarette in the glass ashtray.

Cerise palmed her cheek, leaning against the table. Her voice turned small & sighed. “But I’m flat as a board so you won’t be happy...I’ve been told I shouldn’t wear a bra because it wouldn’t make any difference.”

Sooyoung was soon concerned to hear those words. “My angel, don’t be sad.” The woman quietly comforted the younger by reassuring her validity. She cooed watching her eyes shut, “No matter what others think, I’ll always adore you.” Pulling up the ribbon strap onto Cerise’s shoulder, Sooyoung soothingly traced a finger down the girl’s arm. “....I think we should wait. You are a _precious_ earth angel, & angels must be treated with utmost diligence.”

𖠳

_This feeling, is it a curse? Or the highest place to be delirious for days?_ Cerise thought inside her mind, desperately playing with the hem of her yellow dress in polka dot accents sitting above her thighs. After pulling the white peter pan collar away from her damp neck, the nervous teen trailed her hand to the plastic buttons dotting up her chest with a small sigh. And in her white ankle socks & mary janes, she clicked the thin heels together trying to keep her intrusive thoughts at bay. But she failed to keep her nervous ticks in, & lifted her eyes to see a smiling Sooyoung as she spoke to the girl’s mother. Soon enough Cerise’s worries settled as she admired the way the red-haired woman took a drink from her glass in the living room. The girl thought Sooyoung was very bold to wear a green-based ensemble. She wore a short-sleeved knitted polo in black, white, & green geometric prints. And the green wool-gabardine trousers she sported flattered her legs as they widened at the ends, displaying her leather-white ankle boots fashionably.

While the woman dived inside Cerise’s mind doing tidal waves, it took all the strength Sooyoung had to keep herself from walking over there to kiss her angel. It broke her heart knowing all they’ve exchanged was a simple ‘hello’ tonight & nothing more. She fought the desire, continuing conversation with Cerise’s mother. It wasn’t long until Sooyoung noticed Cerise was bare underneath her dress. The older found it cute, taking a large sip of Ginger Ale from the glass in her hand. She was soon relieved to see Cerise’s mother jump from her seat & head towards the kitchen, delivering disappointing news of the food not being ready yet.

The two were surprised to hear her mother encourage the idea of Cerise showing Sooyoung around the place, even the teen’s own room. The girl agreed with a clap of her hands as she got up, hearing Sooyoung set down the empty glass on the coffee table. She gestured for the woman to follow her quickly, fortunate to get some alone time. “I don’t think you’ve ever seen my room.” Cerise rambled with one hand on the banister going up the stairs. She made a right turn & reached her room door covered in Polaroids & drawings of her own, coming to a halt. “I’m nervous,” she paused with a short laugh, her hand on the knob. “I hope you don’t think of me as some naïve child. Maybe I still am but what’s wrong with treasuring, clinging things from a time when life was simple?”

Hearing no response from Sooyoung behind her, Cerise brushed off her words with a half-smile & opened the door. Turning on the lights to the pale-walled room, the teen gazed over the small posters & photos hung on the walls, apprehensive to speak. “...What do you think?” She finally asked as she walked towards the foot of her bed hearing the door click shut. She didn’t dare look at the woman she very much admired for fear of rejection, keeping her back faced to her. The room grew painfully silent, until Cerise couldn’t bear it anymore.

Just as the girl turned in her black mary janes, she was met with a harsh push onto her bed. Sooyoung was now on top of her, snaking a leg between Cerise’s. With haste she connected lips, parting her salivating mouth against the girl’s. Sooyoung knew she got a grip on her lover’s soul, seeping into the core of her bones as they tied knots with their tongues. The older slightly pulled back, gazing at hazel eyes silently fighting to stay open & hearing heavy pants. “Stick out your tongue.” Sooyoung commanded in a low whisper, pressing her hands against Cerise’s. The girl did as she said, surrendering herself. Her mind was floating in space feeling Sooyoung stimulate her mouth & wondered if grown-ups did these things together frequently. _Devouring.....me now...like how?...I don’t know_ , the girl talked to herself as butterflies awoke inside her body. She suddenly trembled, feeling the woman’s hands skillfully unbutton her yellow dress.

Sooyoung trailed her lips to the girl’s sensitive area of her neck while slipping a hand inside her dress. “You pretty thing...” Her voice diminished into a gentle lullaby, thinking how perfectly the girl’s breast fit into her palm. “You’re pretty,” she breathed out, unable to believe she was feeling the softness of Cerise’s delicate skin. “So pretty...” Sooyoung inhaled her sweet floral fragrance before planting kisses on the girl’s neck with a hum.

Cerise let small moans emit from the back of her throat feeling the woman’s fingertips play with her hard nipple slowly. She called out the Sooyoung’s name in a whimper, afraid of the strange feeling she had in the beginning grow dangerously spreading to below her stomach. She fluttered her eyelashes upon watching the woman pull away & hover over her. The sight to behold was to enough to make her heart stop. Sooyoung bit down her lip to keep her from grinning as she caressed her fingers against Cerise’s warm cheeks. It pleased her to know the girl was too embarrassed to look at her in that moment, having blood-red lipstick smeared & saliva on themselves.

“Girls!” Cerise’s mother rejoiced up the stairs, causing the pair to jump off the bed. “Girls!” She went on, unbeknownst to her the two were wiping their lower faces clean & ran beside the closet. Cerise slid the door open to be greeted with her wide-range of garments, & flinched feeling Sooyoung button up her dress after wiping the side of her neck. “There you girls are!” Cerise’s mother said, watching the two stick their heads & hands into the closet happily. She smiled, setting down the plate of homemade cookies on Cerise’s nightstand near her bed. “Dinner is almost ready, but I’ll leave these cookies here just in case.” She finally said walking back to the door, hearing her daughter wholeheartedly show her favorite dresses to Sooyoung. And with that, she went downstairs & into the kitchen.

Once the coast was clear, the two stood back in silence. Sooyoung turned over to Cerise, locking eyes & breaking into laughs. And perhaps they were loosing their minds but they didn’t care. It never crossed the teen’s mine adrenaline would rush through her, hoping her mother didn’t discover them. She felt weak in the knees when Sooyoung brushed her fingers against her pink cheeks again, thinking what a hot mess she’s made out of her. The woman took back what she said earlier with a coy grin. “We should go downstairs, or else I’ll have to finish what I started.” She brought Cerise in for a tight embrace, grinning wide as she felt the drumming heart of her lover’s against her body.

After munching on chocolate cookies then making each other presentable as before, Cerise & Sooyoung went downstairs with smiles on their faces. “Oh good! Just in time for dinner.” Cerise’s mother exclaimed in her thick accent hearing the two enter the kitchen. She finished setting the china plates on the table & looked up to see their guest walk over to the refrigerator. Sooyoung glanced at the dozens of pictures pinned by colorful magnets. She had already seen photos of Cerise in her infancy by the mantle in the living room, but these seemed to spark more interest to her.

“Summer of 1965.” Cerise said beside the older, pointing her finger to one polaroid. “It was our first summer here & Sehun’s family invited us to the beach.” The girl smiled at the photograph of a 17-year old Sehun picking her small frame up, the waves serving for a perfect background that day. “I think I was around nine at that time? God, I looked so weird in that one...” She shook her head in embarrassment, then pointed at another one. “This is of both our families at the pier along the beach....That’s my dad, with the funny sunglasses.”

“I think you have a nice family.” Sooyoung softly replied, brushing the back of her hand with Cerise’s subtly. “And I don’t think you looked weird.” She finally said, trying to mask the tinge of envy she felt for not being in Cerise’s life a little earlier. She comforted herself afterwards by thinking she was here now, & that’s all that mattered.

Cerise sat across from Sooyoung at the dinner table, sneaking silent glances at each other when possible. Cerise’s mother — oblivious to it all happening under her nose — sat on the left end of the small rectangular table, gulping down her glass of cold wine. The three enjoyed homemade spaghetti in between talks, despite Cerise chatting the least. She did so because they discussed many things she didn’t understand much of yet & found the need to jump in feeble. While they shared abstruse conversation the teen twisted her silver fork in the plate, staring at Sooyoung’s hand rest on the freshly-washed linen tablecloth. She broke away from her gandering & blushed, remembering that same hand fondled her breast earlier.

“I saw you looking at those pictures on the fridge.” Cerise’s mother brought up, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “They do tell quite some stories!”

Sooyoung took one quick look at Cerise & replied with a smile. “Yes, I didn’t know you all had so many trips.”

“The Oh family invited us to many of theirs & were always kind to us. Such lovely spirits those neighbors, like a breath of fresh air.” Cerise’s mother continued, “Did you know their boy Sehun used to babysit Cerise on afternoons?”

“Really?” The red-haired woman lifted a brow, setting her fork down. “I _didn’t_ know, Mrs. Hayes.” She softly spoke, observing the way hazel eyes averted shyly. Sooyoung lifted her foot, pushing her boot near Cerise’s bare leg. She looked over at her from across the table to see the teen’s abrupt expression as she grazed over her, & pursued her red lips. It was satisfying to watch Cerise come to the realization where the conversation was leading as she chewed her mouthful of spaghetti.

“Cerise liked his company so much, sometimes she’d cry when he had to leave.” She turned to her blushing daughter with a smile before bursting in laughter, “I remember thinking the two were connected at the wrist, inseparable the first two years!”

“I am an only child so it was nice to have someone to look up to.” Cerise managed to add, feeling Sooyoung’s foot dangerously touch her leg. She coughed suddenly before reaching over to her glass of soda. The girl smiled before chugging down her Canada Dry. “H—he’s like an older brother to me, is all...”

“Of course!” Cerise’s mother agreed simply, “That boy grew up well. Naturally it was a surprise for us he decided to stay here when his parents moved back to South Korea.” The woman went on, going through other pleasant memories that would never die. Cerise, warm-cheeked & embarrassed, palmed her cheek wanting to hide. She smiled nervously, trying to not let any obscene thoughts enter her mind during dinner. But despite her best efforts, she felt hazy under Sooyoung’s tantalizing stare.

“I just know one day Cerise will find a strong, healthy French man that’ll make her happy.” Cerise mother’s proudly stated in her thick accent, “And have a wonderful marriage.”

“...Is that so?” Sooyoung leaned forward, pushing the tip of her white ankle boots further up between Cerise’s legs. She plastered a smile & let her elbows rest on the table to look at the widowed woman. “I’m afraid there is no man worthy of her.”

[***](https://youtu.be/MuHGsvricmU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 191025 Joy’s fit...*chefs kiss*
> 
> \+ I apologize if this chapter feels fused together messily, I didn’t want to make this 2 chapters long :c


	13. real cool time ഒ

**[3rd]**

“...Let me tell you what she’s packin’ right here, all right? We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower.” Sehun stated matter-of-factly, keeping a an arm outstretched to the hood of his Dodge Charger. His tone of voice turned relaxed as he pointed over to the engine he changed himself. The older didn’t bother to look at Cerise, whom stood beside him with crossed arms in her mini cream dress & worn-out saddle shoes. She didn’t speak a word, vacantly staring at some car part. “We’re talkin’ some fucking muscle.” He said, feeling the wind lightly play with his oversized bandana-pattern button up.

The man went to detail about the carburetor as he ran his tongue on his bottom lip, & the girl didn’t care to understand any of it. Her vision was nothing out of the ordinary; she saw clearly the blue skies the two were under outside the ice cream parlor, yet her mind was still foggy from dinner last night. _Red_ , Cerise thought as her eyes trailed over to Sehun’s rolled up sleeve below his elbow in such color, _Blood red._ It reminded her of yesterday in her room. Her mind flashed back to Sooyoung’s lips connecting with hers & left them slightly sore, bringing that funny sensation inside her stomach to life at the thought. Cerise quietly brought her fingertips to her own lips, knowing her cheeks were dusting into a sheer pink. Soon goosebumps arose on her skin remembering how the woman made her feel inside when she touched her. The weak sensation trickled down to her knees & the teen unconsciously grabbed fistfuls of her dress’ hem, finding herself get unusually hot.

“Aren’t you too quiet?” Sehun asked, slamming the hood of his black car back in place. Admiring it’s paint job under his hands carefully, he leaned forward. “At least give me something we could fucking argue about.” Hearing no response made him turn over to look at Cerise & realize the girl was lost in thought, her hazel eyes blankly staring ahead. Although it irritated him she didn’t bother to listen, Sehun knew she was phased by the dinner with Sooyoung enough to be in this state. The older grabbed her face with his right hand, bursting her train of thought as she let go of her dress. Pressing his fingers & thumb into her rosy cheeks, he tilted her face upwards. The man narrowed his eyes & watched the way she tentatively met his dark ones. “Why are you being so tricky & not me?”

“It’s almost scary,” Cerise mumbled through her puckered lips, “How you know me so well.”

“Like the back of my hand.” Sehun forced a grin as he watched the girl gently rub her cheeks once he let go. Following behind Cerise onto the sidewalk, he thought of how to bring up the subject without prying. “...You kinda left me on a cliffhanger the night before.” Sehun started casually, passing her to lean on the side of his car. “Anything happen worth telling? Bet she ruined it.”

Cerise did the same, letting herself fall back in her saddle shoes beside him. “Nothing interesting.” She shrugged, dismissing his thought. “My mom & Sooyoung got along better than I thought.” The girl could hear Sehun cross his arms over his chest as he listened, & timidly continued. “...We didn’t get to talk much since my mom did most of it, but I enjoyed dinner.” She nervously smiled, hoping she sounded convincing enough. In reality Cerise felt horrible for lying; he was practically the only one she trusted without second-doubting. Yet, imagining telling Sehun she was dating her boss who happened to be her neighbor made the words stuck in Cerise’s throat. She knew he didn’t like Sooyoung & would immediately disapprove of their relationship. With downcast eyes, it saddened her she wasn’t able to share a focal point in her teenage life she’d always dreamt about.

_Liar._ To no surprise, Sehun saw right through her words. The man didn’t believe for a second nothing happened, especially when a woman like Sooyoung was involved. He wondered what she pulled on Cerise & more importantly, if it worked. The idea of whatever-it-was working swam inside his mind tenaciously, displeasing him more than it should. Sehun thought of that woman ever since she appeared as nothing but a parasite, only filling him with deep resentment than most people would.

“Gross...” Cerise muttered under her breath, watching the women who passed by slow their pace for the orange-haired man next to her. She rolled her eyes hearing Sehun laughed & was now the one crossing her arms. “What do people like about you anyways?”

“It’s because I’m a man.” He simply replied, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. Dropping his arms to his sides, Sehun turned his eyes to the large glass windows of the parlor to see his reflection. He furrowed his brows, feeling sweat run down his neck. “Maybe it’s the car.” Sehun passed by Cerise on his shabby chucks & he pulled on the chrome handle to his car, “Why don’t you find out?” As the teen dragged herself in front of him while he leaned against the open door, she stuck out her tongue before crouching down to sit on the passenger seat. Sehun stared at her pristine legs as she brought her left one in first then the other, stepping on the rubber mat. He unconsciously trailed over to her thighs & wondered how she hasn’t melted into the black leather seats.

While he went on about his current prized possession, Cerise shrugged in disinterest. She couldn’t care less about his car or if it’s what gave him charm; she wanted to see Sooyoung. Unfortunately the woman had to do business with an old connection that was willing to buy some of her art, so today’s session was cancelled. Hearing Sooyoung’s voice over the phone wasn’t enough for the teen, she longed to see her & that stomach-turning gummy smile. Moving her eyes from the window, Cerise caught some comic books in a small stack slide off from the dashboard. The girl leaned forward to pick those that landed on her shoes but stopped when one caught her attention. Hot Stuff the Little Devil, the cover read taking Cerise’s interest. She took it in her hands to flip through, thinking how cute the red cartoon devil in a diaper looked holding it’s trident. “I think the answer is easy.” Cerise finally replied. Setting the comic book down, she stood up from the burning seat & smiled wide. “People usually take a glance at you. They feel bad, because junkies are at the end of any society.”

Sehun banged the door of his car shut upon hearing her. He let out a scoff, shaking his head & quickly followed right behind Cerise. “Not so hard to see dykes are also at the bottom.” He derided near her ear, snaking an arm around her shoulder. The man twisted her dainty body towards the glass windows of the parlor & noticed her smile was gone. “Look at us, at the bottom of that shit with the lepers.”

Cerise immediately broke away from his grasp. “...I—I’m n—not...” Turning on her saddle shoes to face him, she tried to speak but found it a struggle to do so. She stumbled on her words as she’s never given it much thought to begin with.

“What?” Sehun asked, leaning against his car. He waited for the girl to come up with some sort of excuse to derail the conversation. “You’re _not_ what?” _It’s okay to admit inside you there’s a little dyke just like in that cunt neighbor of yours_ , the man thought as he stuck his fingers in his shirt pocket for a white Parliament. His hand failed to catch the cigarette falling onto the ground, watching it roll right past Cerise. His bitter eyes tried to meet her’s in the silence they shared & found no avail. The older finally sighed, pointing to the Parliament. “...Mind getting it for me?” Sehun closely watched the way she gave him a hesitant glare before bending her knees.

Cerise’s freshly ironed dress shifted as she took the Parliament in her hand & pursued her lips, feeling his stare. He walked to her, sticking out his hand while she avoided his gaze. In silence she dropped the cigarette on his palm, but flinched in place when he trapped her fingers with his.

“...Guess I pushed you a little too far.” Sehun confessed in a murmur.

Lifting her bright eyes to meet his, she responded in a perceptible whisper with the slightest smile. “To be fair I was the one who started it.” Cerise pushed it off as he let go. She tried to not let Sehun’s words get to her, seeing as he was unfazed. _...I’ve really never given it much thought._ The teen caught Sehun return the smile, forgetting about his Parliament as he threw it in his shirt pocket. Instead, he fished for his keys walking over to the car’s trunk with Cerise following his footsteps.

“Shouldn’t you be home?” Sehun asked, unlocking his trunk. “You’re gonna miss the new Sesame Street episode & we wouldn’t want that.” The man held in his satisfaction watching Cerise bite down her tongue from his peripheral vision. He soon leaned back onto the car parked behind as he was met with dirty shirts & comics books laying inside his trunk. With furrowed brows Sehun crossed his arms again, trying to figure out why he opened it in the first place for.

While the older was muttering profanities under his breath, Cerise heard loud rustling of shoes near & shifted her face to the source discreetly. She was surprised to see an older man having a firm hold of a teen girl’s arm. He held her down like an animal, trapping her the more she tried to escape his grasp. What stood out to Cerise the most was — although the teenager’s back faced her — she could tell her skin was a deep brown; the man seemed to be middle-aged & mean-looking with a wrinkled but fair complexion. It raised questions in her mind, _do they know each other?_

“Leave me alone!” The girl replied, to which Cerise kept her eyes glued onto the two. “I didn’t steal anything!” She visibly struggled to get free. The man yelled back at her without a single hesitation, raising his voice with each word. “Don’t defy me! And don’t lie to me you n—”

“Sehun!” Cerise leaned forwards pulling the older’s sleeve until he looked at her, confused. “W—we gotta help that girl over there.” She signaled with her eyes, quickly darting them to her right. In a quiet tone she explained the best she could until being interrupted by racial slurs being thrown at the girl. Cerise’s heart sank inside her chest, unable to believe she was hearing the hard ‘er’ sound repeat over & over tumble in the faint wind. She didn’t dare sneak a glance behind her, afraid of what she might find. Her eyes followed the way Sehun closed the trunk of his car with a morose sigh. Realizing what he was doing as he passed by her, she began to run after him across the pavement, “Wait!”

“If there’s anything I hate more than Richard fucking Nixon,” Sehun took a harsh hold of the man’s lower arm, “Nothing beats racists motherfuckers like you.” He cracked a smile, applying pressure by tightening his own grip. “She didn’t steal anything so let her go before I beat that cracker face of yours in.” After feeling the tension arise, the man finally pierced his icy blue eyes onto him as he dropped his hand.

𖠳

She, dressed in her ribbed chestnut polo & wide-leg jeans, stared at the two strangers before her. Despite being upset over the liquor store owner accusing her of shoplifting, she wasn’t shocked he called her slurs. Although, she was grateful the two she kept her eyes on cared enough to do something. The longer she observed them the more worlds apart they looked from each other & it struck her with interest. Glancing up at the orange-haired man that stuck out like a sore thumb, she noticed he toyed with the small menu under his pink fingertips as he talked to the girl beside him about the bigot they told off. And the young girl kept her hands on the red counter, listening to him quietly with a nod as her russet pigtails moved slightly. The teen noted her straight hair looked nothing like her own Afro puffs sitting neatly in her scalp. The three all took a table near the window inside the ice cream parlor with air conditioning aiding their parched skin.

She thanked both & felt a smile arise on her lips watching them say it was the right thing to do. She slowly leaned against the table realizing they haven’t exchanged names yet, & was frightfully anticipating to do so. “Don’t think I’ve mentioned my name before.” She went on sincerely with a glint in her eyes, “I’m Keziah but you guys can call me Kizzy.”

“Kizzy, Kizzy, Kizzy.” Sehun lifted his brows trying the nickname on his tongue, deciphering if he liked it or not. In the end he thought it wouldn’t matter much either way. Clearing his throat & flashing smile, the older went next. “I’m Sehun & yeah, I believe Watergate happened.”

“We get it, you hate Nixon.” Cerise replied gently to Sehun, who was getting heated on her right side. “I don’t like him either but you can’t just _openly_ say ‘I hate the president’ to a Republican. You’ll get crucified on the street.”

The older sighed in disappointment, unsurprised about her reaction. Patting the top of the girl’s head like a dog, Sehun grinned looking at Kizzy. “This is Cerise. I usually ignore the stupid shit she says & think of her as a life-sized doll following me around. You know she actually lives in the trailer park at the end of town, her’s is the one with the Christmas lights still on it.”

Cerise rolled her eyes, pushing Sehun’s hand away. What the heck, she thought trying to figure out where he comes up with far-out lies. Extending her arm across the table, she introduced herself formally as her palm made contact with Kizzy’s. “I am Cerise. Though I _don’t_ live in a trailer park, I have nothing against the people that do.”

“Nice to know.” Kizzy laughed, shaking Cerise’s hand. “I guess the three of us have one thing in common. We...aren’t too fond of the current state of this country?”

Sehun clicked his tongue, “Man don’t even get me started...” The older casted his eyes onto his right, getting a sight of the street through the glass window. In truth, he’d come to acknowledge he’s lived long enough in a foreign land to know first hand how differently people treated him; it took a few years in his adulthood to know other’s alienation shouldn’t dictate his life. “Well I’m fucking craving a milkshake, why is the service shit today?” Sehun grumbled as Chanyeol walked over to their table with a notepad & pencil in one hand.

“Don’t badmouth my place again or I’ll kick your ass.” Chanyeol puffed, flicking the pencil in between his fingers. His eyes narrowed hearing Sehun mutter under his breath, turning in his shoes & his view landed on Kizzy’s unfamiliar face. He instantly smiled & introduced himself with a bow, “I’m Chanyeol, the owner of this place. Sometimes I grace my presence around here & while I’m at it, these two think it’s fun to air raid me.” He said through his teeth, but soon backtracked. “What the hell am I gonna lie for? Cerise mot so much with that baby-face, but that’s what I love about these high school girls. I get older & they stay the same age.”

“That’s creepy, dickhead.” Sehun awkwardly shifted in his seat, “Just take our damn order & leave.”

Chanyeol furrowed his brows & leaned towards Kizzy to ask quietly, “How old are you?” Hearing the girl reply perplexingly ‘seventeen’ made him break out into laughter. “Cerise is seventeen too, what a coincidence. I’m almost seeing a _pattern_ here.” Sehun knitted his brows together, explaining to his friend the racist situation they dealt with a few minutes ago. And Chanyeol took one look at Kizzy to apologize by giving their order on the house. The man abruptly lifted up the small notepad in his hand & began scribbling carelessly what they wanted; Cerise chose her usual Hawaiian sherbet, Sehun ordered a hot fudge sundae & strawberry milkshake, while Kizzy wanted a vanilla icee. Just as Chanyeol was walking away, he turned on his shoes & grinned at Kizzy. “Hey, I don’t discriminate. If you’re ever feeling bored, look for me & we’ll have a real cool time.”

“Aren’t you dating Hyesun?” Cerise interjected, lifting a brow suspiciously at him.

“Yeah & four other high-schoolers.” Sehun added, “God, aren’t you fucking shameless.”

“Ah!” Chanyeol ignored their remarks & pointed to Cerise, “Hyesun wanted to talk to you. She hasn’t seen you since the party on Friday when you left with Sehun. Are you two fighting or what?” Watching the girl freeze at his words, he brushed it off walking behind the front counter with his employees.

_Fighting? Yeah I guess you could call it that_ , Cerise thought, _It’s the typical thing to do after she breaks her promises._ Why her best friend couldn’t be an ounce of loyal was beyond Cerise, but she decided on that Friday night — on the way home — Hyesun would no longer feed what’s left of their friendship with lies. Palming her cheek as she pushed her elbow onto the table, the teen slightly smiled at Kizzy, trying to hide the feelings of discontent behind her gesture. Cerise’s ears perked up & she tilted her head upon hearing Sehun ask the girl across them about school.

“It’s not so bad, but in elementary school the kids would pick on me. You know, talking about how I was the darkest in the room & my ‘negro’ hair.” Kizzy raised her hand to brush the loose strands of hair back, finding some sort of amusement thinking back at those harsh memories. She lifted up a brow playfully, “I think it’s funny how nicely I’ve been treated at school now, & I know why. I ain’t no fool. They don’t want to upset the Black girl. With political tensions rising & the Black Power movement in the air, s’no surprise to me. They just know how to hide how they really feel.”

“Some better than others.” Sehun replied, coming to the conclusion they both have been through the same thing regardless their age difference. “At first it started with name-calling for me too. They’d pull their eyes back & laugh at me like I was some subhuman or shit. As I got older, it only got worse. My face would get pushed down toilets & I’d end up in fights still getting my ass fucked over. It wasn’t fair ‘cause it was me against four or five of them pussies.”

“Did your parents find out?” Kizzy asked, concern evident in her voice.

“No way. My parents came over here right before the Korean War. Why would I worry them with shit I could deal on my own?” Sehun scoffed, “I’d lie about the cuts & bruises on me, say I played too much baseball.” The older sighed as he shrugged. “The bruises did help me land girls though so I can’t say I hated it _too_ much.”

Besides the laughter he shared with Kizzy & talked exceedingly in depth about their assaults, Cerise sat there spectating their conversation without a word. Though she already knew about the troubling high school life Sehun had to endure, hearing him relive it again out loud broke her heart. And Cerise realized she would never fully understand their experiences, but the least she could do is listen to comprehend better.

“Vanilla icee, Hawaiian sherbet, hot fudge sundae, & a strawberry milkshake!” The employee stated as he slid the glass cups & round plates from the tray. The young man suddenly blushed as he met eyes with Cerise & fixed his fountain hat. He stumbled on his words when she asked him why Chanyeol didn’t serve them. “H—he said he didn’t want or deal with you guys...”

“Alright, alright, alright.” Sehun interrupted the employee with a scowl & shooed him away. After watching him hurriedly walk away, he turned to face Kizzy as he took the milkshake in front of him. “Actually, I’ve only ever heard of the Black Power movement because of Ramparts. There was a section about the Panther Party on a June issue years ago by Bobby Seale. I read it, totally juxtaposed the perfect all-American perspective mainstream magazines like National Review push. People have the fucking right to be hostile, they don’t have to be all _‘peace & love’_ with somebodies boot on their fucking neck.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Kizzy said, growing interested. “Do you happen to have it by any chance?”

“No but I know a friend that collects them.” Sehun replied before gulping down his milkshake, “I could ask him to let me borrow it for you.” Licking off the strawberry from his lips as he heard Kizzy thank him, he snuck a glance at Cerise who had been quiet for a while. The girl was eating spoonfuls of her sherbet as she fixated her view on ahead. He was almost positive she was thinking of something or someone judging how her eyes were shaped. The older slid the sundae to his side, picked off the maraschino cherry & dropped it on her Hawaiian sherbet to get her attention. When Cerise finally looked up at him, his eyes narrowed as he leaned by her side. “You’ve gained the rite of passage to all the cherries on my sundaes, just so you know.” Her laughter filled his ears in an instant, & he decided to steal another glance her way. Delicately parting her pink lips, Cerise dropped the cherry into her mouth before grinning. Feeling his face drain red like a child’s over a teenage girl made Sehun unconsciously grit his teeth as he looked away.

After taking a quick sip from her icee, Kizzy decided to speak up. “Is it okay if I ask how long you two been together?” 

“WHAT?!” The two before her yelled in unison, then glared at each other for a second.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kizzy took back her words & explained, “I—It’s just...well you both are so close & I assumed...”

“No, no.” The older shook his head quickly while trying to hold in his laughter at the thought. Rubbing his reddened eyes, Sehun explained why there’d be no possibility of such thing. “I’ve known Cerise since she was eight, we’re talking about the girl that used to pull her dress up at picnics & pick her nose when she thought no one was looking. I’ve seen her talk to her dolls which _still_ scares me to this day for crying out loud. To put it in simpler terms, I listen to Iggy Pop, & she,” he pointed to Cerise, “Likes David Cassidy! Man, talk about terrifying.”

Cerise listened to him, bursting with angry flames internally at how he embarrassed her in front of Kizzy. Still, she withheld her calm composure with a straight face until chiming into his banter. “Yeah,” the teen confessed, “...I personally don’t find junkies to be my thing. I mean, doesn’t it look like he’d lick Heroin off the floor?” Cerise teased, leaning against the table. There’s plenty of more where that came from. “Anyways,” she sighed deeply with a smile as her voice turned gentle, “I’ve already got my sights set on my next-door neighbor.” Cerise turned to look at Kizzy whom widened her eyes in surprise while she sipped her vanilla icee. Adverting her eyes to Sehun, her smile grew wider once she noticed her words slapped the smirk off his face, leaving a painful florid expression. Cerise stuck out her tongue, admitting to herself she liked the view far more than intended.

[***](https://youtu.be/FVILqs8eOqc)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love David Cassidy...like, a lot :v


End file.
